


What We Do For Love

by JustDreamin



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Anything After Season One Doesn’t Exist, Blood and Violence, Canon Divergence - No Hydra Takeover, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Found Family, Grant Ward Isn't Hydra, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Miss What Could Have Been, Mission Gone Wrong, Or Has It?, Original Team, Past Child Abuse, Poor Grant Ward, Protective Grant Ward, Psychological Torture, Sacrifice, Set Sometime After Season One, SkyeWard Deserved Better, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:07:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 50,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26030893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustDreamin/pseuds/JustDreamin
Summary: When a mission takes an unexpected turn, Agent Ward and his partner, the newly qualified Agent Skye, become trapped in a situation of which they don’t know how to get out of.Secrets are revealed and the things they both thought were long in the past come to light.Sometimes we wish that our pasts would just stay in the past, remain a distant memory. But unfortunately, that’s not always the case.
Relationships: Grant Ward & Agents of SHIELD Team, Jemma Simmons & Grant Ward, Leo Fitz & Grant Ward, Natasha Romanov & Agents of SHIELD Team, Natasha Romanov & Grant Ward, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Grant Ward
Comments: 36
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Guys,
> 
> This is my first fanfic and also my first time posting on this site so the layout of my paragraphs may be rearranged later on if they look funny. For some time I have been debating whether or not I should share this but then I thought why the hell not and here we are. 
> 
> I started writing this in 2019 and have only just got round to finishing it so apologies if it’s awful.
> 
> I haven’t seen past season 1 of AoS so I’m not 100% sure on all of the details but I know majority of what happens. This fanfic ignores all of that. I just couldn’t watch it after how they treated Ward after the reveal. But I did love Skye and Ward together and all of his different relationships with team so I wanted to write something including them, but to be honest this is mainly just Skyeward. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read it and I hope you enjoy.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Some of the dialogue used is from actual scenes in AoS, so if you recognise any of them it’s from there. All rights go to marvel.
> 
> This has not been checked so all mistakes are my own.

Surrounded. With the barrels of every Slade members' gun aimed at us we have no way of escaping, not this time. We’re outnumbered. No matter how good we are at fighting we know we can’t take on 50 men alone, not just the two of us. We have always managed to get ourselves out, after every single mission, but I know that’s not possible. Not this time.

For 3 years, the law enforcement agency, S.H.I.E.L.D, have been trying to take down Slade, trying to finally catch them out. I am part of that organisation. I’m an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. However every time we had even a hint of evidence leading us to them, they vanished. Just like that they became untraceable and we had to start all over again, searching and waiting.

Slade is a dangerous organisation that kidnaps innocent people and does god knows what to them. Whenever someone has been taken by Slade they would never be found again, found alive at least. After years and years of searching, we finally found them. When I say “we” I mean Agent Ward, he found them. I don’t know how but he did.

I walked into his new office at the hub, about to ask him if we were still on for dinner. Coulson decided that we should have at least one, however limited it was, base at the hub. Despite us travelling on the bus majority of the time, he said we should have a real office there for paperwork and whatever else they need it for.

Ward basically made it into his own personal office. He’s the only one who ever actually uses it. So we decided, Fitz, Simmons and I, that we should just call it his. He is the one who needs it most. Being a level 7 agent, he has to write up the mission reports, well he doesn’t need to do it specifically but he took it upon himself to do them because, well the rest of us don’t want to and honestly we aren’t the best at including all the details, not as well as him anyway.

It was his turn to pick the restaurant we were going to eat but he let me choose and I chose the Island grill, my favourite restaurant. A place he’d never even been to my surprise. I was so excited for him to try their food that I barged into his office without any warning, fed up of waiting for him to finish his work. And that’s when I saw it there on his screen, the location of Slade’s current base.

I couldn’t believe it. How had he found them? After 2 years of silence, after 2 years of nothing. We had no idea where they were for 2 years and he suddenly knew exactly where they were. But we didn’t have time for explanations; we needed to get to them. I told him that we had to go there now, we couldn’t wait. We had to act fast before we lost them again.

So that’s what we did, we left, with no back up, no radio, no real idea of what we were doing. It was just us with our own weapons, no special equipment. The only person who knew what we were doing and where we were going was Oliver. He works at S.H.I.E.L.D as well. Ward has been talking to him more and more recently and he said that we could trust him. He helped us get here undetected. Ward said that we couldn’t risk anyone at S.H.I.E.L.D finding out about what we knew, not with the possibility of Slade also finding out, so we went alone and told no one.

We let the possibility of finally taking down Slade cause us to dive in head first with nothing to help us get out. And look where that's got us now, trapped with no way of getting out.

——————————

As I carefully look around, scanning to spot any way of escaping, all I’m greeted with is man after man aiming their guns at us. 

We almost made it into the warehouse where we believed Slade were located, until out of nowhere they started surrounding us, heavily armed and well prepared. They were prepared and knew that we were coming, but how? We made sure nobody found out what we were doing. It couldn’t have been Oliver, Ward trusts him and he doesn’t trust easy. But I can’t think about that now. None of that matters, all that matters is what we’re going to do to get out of this, alive. 

Calmly strolling out of the warehouse, a man dressed from head to toe in all black with a mask covering his face, shouts to us, “Don’t make this harder than it has to be. Drop all of your weapons, put your hands on your head and get down on the ground.” 

As he slowly moves towards us, I notice some of the gunmen straighten up and become more alert. From the way he acts and the fear in the men’s eyes when he arrived, I presume he’s the leader of Slade. 

Before I go to kneel down like the man asked, I calmly look to my right where Ward is. His hands are placed on top of his head, and his weapons lie in front of him, as mine do, on the stone cold ground at our feet. He notices me looking at him and we make direct eye contact. The look in his eyes gives me a feeling of unease; he looks as if he’s reminiscing. Has he really given up on our escape so soon? He never gives up, ever.

The look of reminisce disappears as quickly as it appeared and his face becomes unreadable. If I didn’t know him as well as I do, I’d think he looks bored. Now he’s in his Agent Ward mind set; show your enemy nothing, mask your emotions. He continues to look at me and then nods. He nods for to say do it, whatever that man says just do as he asks. Ward falls onto his knees and I do the same.

When the man is only a few steps away from us, he stops and stares. His eyes scan me from head to toe, and then he says, looking directly at me, “Agent Skye, you’re quite the brave and honourable agent aren’t you? It’s truly a pleasure to meet you in person.” After he finishes talking, his grin only grows wider. He’s proud of himself, two S.H.I.E.L.D agents kneeling before him.

“I can’t say the same. Look at you; need all these men to protect you? Why don’t you order your little pets to stand down and we can see how strong you really are?” I spit out.

The man kneels in front of me, his eyes meeting mine as he says, “Feisty, I like it. You don’t disappoint, Skye. Let’s take a look at your partner shall we?” I feel my heart drop in my chest. I know that Ward can take care of himself; he’s a much better agent and fighter than any agent at S.H.I.E.L.D, including me, but this man, he makes my stomach turn.

As he gets up off the floor and heads to stand in front of Ward, I see four of his men make there way towards us. That can’t be good. Two of the men stand at my shoulders. They order me to stand and I do, following their orders as Ward wants me too. The largest of the two men forcefully grabs my wrists and holds them behind my back while the other raises his gun towards me.

The other two men stand at Ward’s shoulders. Unlike just holding his hands behind his back like they did with me, the men handcuff his behind his back and then roughly drag him to his feet.

Ward stands tall, his feet firmly on the ground. He tries to shrug the two men off him but it’s no use. Their grip is tight on his arms as well as the handcuffs on his wrists.

The leader, who stands only a couple of feet away from Ward, waits for the men to steady him until he says, “The one and only, Agent Grant Douglas Ward…” I look to Ward; his eyes are staring directly into the Slade leaders, “S.H.I.E.L.D`s most efficient agent. Apparently, you’ve never failed a single mission… You always were a perfect pet. You were so terrified of going back that you refused to let yourself fail, couldn’t give S.H.I.E.L.D a reason to kick you out could you? You’d have nothing left.”

Ward doesn’t say anything. He just stands there not giving any reaction. He doesn’t even bat an eyelid. But this man wants a reaction and he knows exactly how to get one.

The man moves close to Ward’s face and examines him from head to toe before saying, “I guess you need that, a purpose, anything to keep you going. Being so unloved, so unwanted. You’re just so, broken. I wonder, does your partner know about the little Grant Ward. How petrified and weak you were and still are? The coward, who at 14 years old, tried to -” 

Before he can continue Ward lunges towards him. At Ward’s sudden movement the leader takes a few steps back but remains calm, he knew what Ward would try to do. The men at Ward’s side however did not. They were unprepared but they still manage to control him. They shove him down onto the ground, kicking the back of his knees so his legs collapse under him. You can hear the impact of his knees hitting the stone hard floor with a thump. But it’s another sound that catches my attention, the sound of fabric ripping open.

My eyes follow the sound as I stare at his knee which has been pushed right into a pile of broken glass. The largest shard of glass has embedded its way into his skin as his blood begins to surface and drip onto the floor. The pain at his knee doesn’t even faze him and his face is back to being a mask. He may be unreadable to these men, but not to me. I can see through his mask. I know him better than he knows himself and I also know how hard he tries to hide his emotions. I’ve seen it first hand countless times. But after everything we’ve been through together I know what lies behind that mask. I know how much he truly feels and how much he tries to hide it.

Whatever this man was going to say wasn’t something Ward wanted to be reminded of. It’s a part of his past, his traumatic childhood that still causes him so much pain. Whatever happened when he was 14, it’s obvious to me that it causes him a lot of pain to even think about, let alone it being brought up by a man who he doesn’t know. He hasn’t told me anything about it, and I can see it on his face. Ever since we started getting closer he told me that he didn’t want to keep things from me, but this. This I can tell he never wanted me to find out about.

——————————

I don’t care about what happened when he was 14, if he wanted to tell me he would. He’s closed off and due to his family I’m not surprised. He knows he can talk to me about anything and if he doesn’t want to I would never push him. But whatever happened causes him a lot of pain and the thought of Ward suffering, physically or mentally, doesn’t sit well with me.

The sight of blood oozing out of Ward’s knee makes me want to run towards him, to help him, to comfort him but I can’t. His blood flows onto the ground under his knee, forming a puddle of thick blood that only grows. But still, he gives no reaction. I’ve never seen him look the way he looks right now, so powerless and at the mercy of these men. It makes me sick to my stomach.

The leader looks at me, he sees the tears forming in my eyes as I look at Ward and does a small smile to himself. He walks up to Ward, places his hand firmly under his chin and forces Ward’s head to my direction. I stare into Ward’s eyes, and that’s when I realise the truth. The fear now evident in his eyes, it’s not fear for himself, not the pain he’s in or even death, it’s fear for me. He’s afraid of what they might do to me.

The leader looks to the man aiming his gun at me. He does a slight nod to my direction, causing the man to place the barrel of the gun to the side of my temple. As the gun is pressed further into my temple, making my head tilt, Ward tries to move towards me. He tries to get out of the men’s grip and away from the man holding his face, but they hold him firmly back.

The leader’s grip is still under his chin, forcing Ward to look at me as he says, “Make another move like that, and your pretty little girlfriend won’t see the light of day again.”

Ward’s face drops. He looks well and truly defeated. He’s completely given up. He knows he can’t keep it up much longer. We’re outnumbered. We know that and they know that. I’ve hardly been a real field agent long, almost a year. I can’t even imagine taking on all these men. I’m good but not that good. And even if I thought I could take them on Ward wouldn’t risk it, not when my life’s on the line.

The leader starts to pull Ward up by his chin while the men at his side drag him up by his arms. His feet struggle to stand on the ground, but the men firmly place him up right. As the Slade leader begins to talk to Ward, he releases his hand from his face. 

All eyes are on him as he says, “I’m disappointed in you Grant, has it really been that long that you don’t even recognise me?” Just as confusion starts to cover Ward’s face, the man slowly takes of his mask, revealing his face.

His face is not what I imagined. He only looks in his mid thirties. He’s probably only a couple of years older than Ward. His sluggish eyes stare straight into Ward’s. Ward’s face turns from confusion into realisation, the look in his eyes tells me that this isn’t a good thing. I can see the anger and sadness forming in his eyes. But not only that, I can see true fear in his eyes. His face suggests he knows what terrible things await us now. This man, this man can only cause trouble.

“Christian…” As the name falls off Ward’s lips, their eyes never break contact. It’s barely even a whisper but everyone can hear it, the sadness in his voice, the pain, the memories, just from one word, one name.

The leader of Slade, Christian, does a slight laugh, before replying, “Hello, little brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was chapter one. 
> 
> Comment and let me know what you think. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and will continue reading this. There's much more to come. 
> 
> Again, thank you for reading. It's much appreciated.
> 
> SIDE NOTE: The Christian Ward in this is not going to be the same as the one presented in the show (honestly I’ve not really seen him in the show so I don’t know what he’s like. I haven’t watched season 2) 
> 
> Some aspects of him may be similar to the show (as you will find out) but honestly I just let my imagination go wild.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to thank you all for continuing reading this. Your reviews and kudos make my day. 
> 
> Onto the story,

This man is really Ward’s brother. But How did he find him? 

He’s the brother who caused Ward so much suffering; the one who beat him, who forced him to do horrible things, and threatened him. He’s the one who damaged Ward almost beyond repair. His fear, his anger, it could have destroyed him, and it almost did. But he fought it. Instead he became one of the best agents S.H.I.E.L.D has ever seen. He taught himself to bury the memories, lock them away and never look back. But now, with Christian here and Ward kneeling down helpless in front of the man he despises so much, the man who caused him so much suffering. I can’t even imagine what must be going through his head. 

“Well, don’t you look different? You’re much stronger than I remember. Not as puny. But I can still see it in your eyes, that broken little boy. The boy who cried every night, hoping it would all just go away.” And that’s when I see it, the look in Ward’s eyes, the memories of his painful childhood, the memories he’s tried so hard to keep locked up, finally making their way back to the surface. The wall he’s been building up his whole life, the wall that protects him from the painful memories, crumbling.

“Stop,” Ward interrupts, “Just stop.”

I hate this, seeing him this way. When he told me about his brother and his parents, what they did to him, what they made him do, he looked so vulnerable. His past still haunts him. I know that, but this look on his face, his pain goes much deeper than I thought.

“Oh brother, what did I say? You’re weak. And now even your girlfriend knows it,” Christian says while gesturing in my direction. He begins to walk up to me and Ward tenses up.

“He’s not weak. Grant’s anything but weak. I know what you did to him. And somehow he still managed to become the man he is today. Despite everything you and your parents did to him he is a good man. A man who would do anything for the people he cares about, a man with a real family who care about him more than you and your parents ever did. Grant Ward is anything but weak.”

Christian looks at me, his eyes scanning me again as he says, “Now I get it, brother. I never understood why you decided to agree to this but now, now I get it. She really is something else.”

What the hell? What is he talking about? Oh god, what has Ward done?

“What?” I say aloud this time. “Ward? What have you agreed to?” I say staring right at him. He doesn’t even look at me, he keeps his eyes on the ground and his head tilted down.

“You didn’t tell her,” Christian says with a laugh. What hadn’t Ward told me?

“Ward, look at me.” I say more firmly. Confusion and anger starts to build up inside of me.

“You weren’t supposed to be here, Skye. You weren’t supposed to know, until after… until it was over. But then you walked in and saw it. There was no way I could persuade you not to come, not after you saw it. You wouldn’t have let me go alone.” Ward finally looks at me and his eyes meet mine, his eyes that are filled with sorrow, “I never found Slade, they found me.”

——————————

They found him. What does that even mean? Why would… We’ve been looking at it wrong this whole time. His brother wanted him all along. It wasn’t Slade after S.H.I.E.L.D. It was brother after brother. It was Christian after Grant. 

“You’ve finally figured it out, it wasn’t Slade after S.H.I.E.L.D`s secrets, no. I couldn’t care less about that stupid, little organisation you work for. I was just after my baby brother, and when I found out he was working for S.H.I.E.L.D, It was a perfect set up. I would make them believe it was them, the whole time, who I was after. Then they would be too blind to realise the truth. It’s a genius distraction really. Send them off course and then strike. And look at how wonderful it worked for us, eh?”

I don’t even know what to say any more. This whole time they weren’t even after S.H.I.E.L.D, he wasn’t even after us. It was Ward he wanted and now he’d agreed to something from him. “Grant…” I whisper. Even though it’s quiet, he still hears me. I can tell by the twitch in his posture. Even though he heard me he doesn’t look at me. I can barely even get my words out; the tears just keep falling down my face, “What have you done?”

Silence. Ward doesn’t even dare look at me. His eyes are fixed on the floor until he slowly closes them shut. His head is facing the floor. “Well, if you aren’t going to tell her brother, I will. You see Skye, if you want to understand, you need to know the facts first, about Slade. You already know that I take people. But what you don’t know is that I also offer them a deal. I give them something they want and in return they owe me. If they fail to uphold their end of the bargain it’s simple, I kill them.”

“Not so long ago, about a month to be exact, some of my men brought me two new people. At the time I had no idea who they were or how important they would be to my plan. But then I found out about you, and how much you mean to my brother. It was the perfect plan, you see my brother he would do anything for you. So I offered him a deal, he hands himself over to me and I would let these people go, unharmed, and I wouldn’t hurt you. So he agreed. Let’s just say these people have a special connection with you, and well my brother wasn’t going to let me kill them so, he agreed to the deal. And here we are… ”

Ward had handed himself over to Slade, for me. He sacrificed himself all for these people who I have a 'special connection' with and I don’t even know who they are. What do these people have to do with me?

“You can’t do this. I won’t let you,” I say to Christian. I can feel myself about to break down. As a single tear falls down my face, he slowly walks in front of me. Ward’s watching him now, his head following his brother as he gets closer to me. He places his slender, cold fingers on my cheek and wipes the tear off. I notice Ward’s body tense as his brother’s hand touches me.

“Sorry to break it to you, but the deal’s already been made, sweetheart. And you can’t do a single thing about it I’m afraid.” His gaze wanders to the men standing at Ward’s side. He walks over to them as he says, “Go get the driver. I’m fed up of these two love birds. I think they’ve spent enough time with each other, don’t you? My brother said he’ll be waiting around the corner ready to pick them up, and I swear to you brother, if you try anything, I won't hesitate to kill her.”

As the men leave to get, who I’m guessing is Oliver, to bring the car around, I’m left thinking of the worst. How could he do this to himself? How can he just hand himself over? And even now, when he’s realised it’s his brother who he’s willingly given his life over to, he doesn’t fight. He doesn’t try to find a way out. He’s accepted what’s going to happen to him.

How many people knew what he was planning to do? Oliver can’t be the only one. This must has been going on for days. He can’t have done it alone. Who could have helped him hide his tracks, hide his contact with Slade? They’re only a few people he trusts. Fitzsimmons couldn’t have known. They would have had no idea what to do. He needed someone with full access to the system so people wouldn’t know he was contacting Slade. I know how he thinks, he would have thought of every angle, every possible way this could go south. If any one at S.H.I.E.L.D found out they would get suspicious and it could have ruined all of it. Maybe it was May? No she doesn’t have clearance for that. The only person I can think of who Ward trusts and has access to almost everything is ... Coulson.

Oh my god. If what I think is true... how could he? Coulson knew about this and he didn’t stop him. He just let this happen. He just let Ward hand himself over to Slade. I look at Ward, defenceless and completely defeated, kneeling in front of the man he despises most. He’s been planning this for days, weeks even and he kept it from me the whole time.

“Why?” I choke out while trying to hold back the tears. I sound broken, and I am. After everything we’ve been through together, he’s handing himself over to the one person who he truly fears. As he finally looks up to me, his eyes filled with sorrow but not regret, he replies, “I did what I had to do. And someday, someday you’ll understand. I don’t regret what I’ve done. I’d do anything to make you happy, Skye, anything.”

As I speak the tears start flowing again, “I was happy. And after everything we’ve been through, I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, with the team, with you. And I was so happy.”

A sad smile forms on his face as he replies, “so was I.”

——————————

Just as I spot Oliver’s car coming round the corner, it hits me. He’s going to force me in that car, but Ward, he’s not coming with us. I’ve been too blinded by my anger and sadness that I failed to acknowledge the fact that the past few minutes, the minutes I’ve spent trying to understand, were precious moments that I could have spent convincing Ward to try and get out of the hand cuffs and fight. And now, now they’re gone.

“No, please just let us go. We’ll leave you alone, I promise. You won’t ever hear from us again or S.H.I.E.L.D just please, please let us go.” I feel weak, pleading for our lives. He won’t let Ward go, not now. He’s finally got what he wants, what he’s wanted for god knows how long and he’s not going to give it up.

“We all know that isn’t going to happen,” Christian says, looking back at me for a brief moment before turning his gaze to some more of his men who have started to make there way towards us, “Get the prisoners and get them into the car.” As two of the men head towards the building across the street to where I guess the people Ward traded his life for are being held, Christian continues speaking but this time to the men at my side, “Get her in the car as well. I’m done playing this game.”

With two men at either side of me, dragging me by my wrists towards the car, I find it hard to breathe. This can’t be happening. I can’t give up, not now. I won’t lose him, I can’t.

I thrash around, slamming my arms and legs into the men holding me, trying to break free from their grip, trying to get to Ward. I start screaming, to the men pulling me away, to Christian, to Ward, to anyone. No one looks at me as I get dragged away, not even Ward looks at me, not wanting to see the pain clear on my face. His head is tilted down facing the floor.

“Ward!” I scream through the tears. The sound of his name coming from my lips in such a broken tone causes him to look right at me. His face looks as broken as I feel. Just as Ward’s about to speak, Christian walks up to him and lands a hard punch to his jaw.

The force of the punch causes Ward to go tumbling to the ground. I scream out for him, for Christian to stop, but he doesn’t. Instead two more men run towards Ward and pull him to his feet. Still being dragged away, I feel my legs finally give in. I don’t stop trying to get out of their grip but I can feel my strength slowly fading.

Christian punches Ward again but this time in the chest. Ward hunches over, trying to protect his chest from any other punches. Despite his hands still being tied behind his back and the men clutching onto his shoulders, he does it out of reflex and instinct. But that only gives Christian the perfect position to strike again and this time he goes for his chin, causing Ward’s head to slam backwards.

Only a few feet away from the car, my screams become louder and my sobs become quicker, the tears still staining my cheeks. I don’t take my eyes off Ward, not even for a second.

As his head slowly starts to pick itself up right, I notice the blood coming down his nose, the black eye forming on his right eye and just below that, his cheek bright red from the impact of his brother’s first punch. Our eyes meet, mine are red and covered in fresh tears while his; one is fighting to stay open as his other is staring right at me.

He gives me a sad, reassuring smile as the words fall out of his mouth, “Let me go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Ward’s made a deal with Slade (unknown to him at the time it was his brother all along.) 
> 
> What’s going to happen to Ward? What’s Skye going to do about the recent events?
> 
> Much more to come, (hopefully soon!)


	3. Chapter 3

As the car door swings open, my breaths become shorter and the screams only become louder. The distance between me and Ward only grows, making me sick to my stomach. 

Christian doesn’t stop punching him. He gives Ward just enough time to feel the impact of his fist before he strikes again and again and again, each punch making Ward weaker and weaker. The tears rolling down my face never stop falling. As I watch the man, who I’ve grown to care so deeply about, get beaten to a pulp, the whole world begins to fade. The men dragging me suddenly stop. We’ve reached the car. 

One of the men dragging me grabs my hands while the other grabs my ankles. I thrash around, trying to make it as hard as possible for them to get me in but they easily lift me up and throw me into the back seat of Oliver’s car.

Just as the car door slams shut, locking me in, I notice that the two prisoners are also sat in the back of the car with me. The woman sits nervously next to me, with her hands holding on tight to the hands of the man sat in front of her, the other prisoner. As I study them I notice both of them are wearing matching rings on their wedding fingers. Both of them turn their heads to look at me. As I look into the woman’s eyes, it looks like she’s been crying for days. She looks drained, both of them do. As the woman gently tucks her hair behind her ears, I notice both of them have similar brown hair; the woman’s is slightly darker than the man’s. The woman’s eyes squint in my direction, trying to focus on me. The feeling of familiarity spreads across her face as she questions, “Daisy?” 

I don’t… That’s when I finally understand who these people are, and why Ward did everything he could to make them safe. It makes sense now. They’re the people I’ve been searching for my whole life, the people from my past who I told Ward about and almost broke down speaking about. I may not know these people very well and they may not know me very well, but these people do know me. These people are my biological parents.

——————————

As Oliver turns the car engine back on, without a second thought, I turn to look through the window, back at the one person who has always cared for me, ignoring my parents who abandoned me my whole life. I would have thought that by now Christian would have stopped punching Ward, but his punches have only become harder and faster. 

I slam my hands against the glass window again and again, trying to reach him, trying to do something, but it’s no use. My cries become louder with every punch Christian strikes at Ward. The men standing at Ward’s side suddenly let go of him, causing his body to collapse and his head to slam right onto the ground below him. 

Just as I start to scream again, Oliver puts his foot on the pedal and the car begins to move. I feel completely helpless as I watch Ward get beaten, more of his blood covering the floor around him. I can feel the car moving further and further away. I can’t stop the growing distance between us. As much as I plead for Oliver to stop and go back, he doesn’t. All I’m greeted with is silence.

As we get close to a corner, I feel myself holding onto the sight of Ward. I’m not ready to let him go, not now, not ever. My fists ache from the continued impact of them hitting the window, but I don’t stop. 

Just as Oliver turns the steering wheel, about to disappear around the corner, it feels like the world around me starts to vanish and time slows down. All that I see is Ward. 

I try to calm my breathing, slowly in and out, in and out. And it works for a moment, as I’m looking at him, the man who puts me first above everyone else, even himself; the man who saved my life on way too many missions, more than I like to admit; the man who has never lied to me, the list goes on and on. But the one that made me realise that I truly need him was that he was the one who always believed in me even when no one else did. He helped me become the person I am today. He makes me better.

As the car starts to turn faster, I watch as Ward slowly starts to fade from my sight and I let the tears flow freely down my cheeks. I never take my eyes off him as he starts to disappear. I don’t want to miss a single moment of him. I watch as his brother walks off into the building behind him. I watch as the men at Ward’s side lift him up and drag him to where Christian is going, his head hanging down in front of him and his legs dragging along the floor. The last I see of Ward is him being dragged away, bloody and beaten. Now all I can see are countless, old high-rise buildings.

——————————

For the rest of the car ride we all sit in silence. I don’t take my eyes away from the window. I don’t want to look at anyone in this car; not at the parents who abandoned me and not at Oliver who let Ward hand himself over to his psychopath brother. After about 20 minutes when I’ve finally steadied my breathing and the tears have stopped, I turn my head to face the back of Oliver’s and manage to spit out, “Why did you do it?” I can feel my heart rate speeding up just thinking about what happened.

“Do you think I wanted this to happen? Don’t you dare blame me for this,” he says in an almost irritated tone. “I don’t see you trying to stop him or going back to get him? How could -” Before I can finish my sentence Oliver abruptly stops the car, causing my head to jolt forward. 

He turns his head to face me, “You think I wanted this to happen? You don’t think I tried to stop him? You don’t think I tried to tell him how stupid this plan was and how he would get himself killed? I tried to persuade him every single day since he told me. I tried to get him to not follow through with this. But he didn’t listen. He knew what was going to happen to him and he didn’t care,” Oliver rebukes. 

The anger disappears from his voice as he continues, “We may not have been close but he was my friend. I didn’t want this to happen. But this was his choice. There was nothing I could do to stop him.” Now I can clearly see the sadness on his face, the pain in his voice as he speaks. For a moment we both just stare at each other. Not many people care for Ward, the team and I are the only people I know who truly care, and now Oliver it seems. He turns back to the wheel and starts the car again.

As the car starts to move, I turn my head back to look out of the window. We all remain in silence for the rest of the journey back to the S.H.I.E.L.D base, my parents still both sat awkwardly and out of place. 

The quiet made me realise that Oliver was never the person who I was truly mad at. It’s one of the few people who I thought I could trust and he let it happen, no he helped him do it, and that’s Coulson.

——————————

After what feels like hours, we finally arrive outside of the main entrance of the hub. Oliver doesn’t say anything, he just pulls into the side of the road and unlocks the doors. What he wants to say is clear, go. I don’t say a word. I just grab the door handle, open the door and slam it shut behind me as I get out. 

As I walk up the steps to the main entrance, I realise that I’ve completely forgot about my parents and left them in the back of Oliver’s car. He’s probably kicked them out anyway which means that they’ll most likely be acting like lost chickens. But I don’t care about them right now. I need to find Coulson. I freeze at the sight of him as I open the door to the hub and see him standing across from me. I didn’t need to look far.

Opening the doors to the base he remains still, unaware that I’ve arrived. He was waiting for me to return. So I was right, he knew what was going to happen. He stands tall as he always does with his back up right. He wears one of his classic grey suits and black tie. His arms are formally placed by his side. He stands alone and only a few metres away from me. When he spots me, he starts heading towards me.

I can feel all of the anger building up inside of me as my legs start to move towards him as well. As he’s only a few feet in front of me, Coulson goes to speak but before he gets the chance, my fist collides with his face and then my whole body is lunging at him.

“How could you?” I scream, my hands constantly trying to punch his chest. My rage is taking over and I couldn’t care less. Just as I go to punch him again, he grabs my wrists and pulls them to his chest, “How could you? How could you do this to me, to the team? You’re hypocrite,” I scream. Not many people are in the base at this time, only a few people and they’re just packing up ready to go home for the night.

Unlike the team and I they all go home at the end of the day. We sleep on the bus. I have my apartment which I bought shortly after joining S.H.I.E.L.D and it’s not far from here. I wanted my own solid ground to stand on if joining S.H.I.E.L.D didn’t work out. From experience, I had to be prepared for the worst. I only ever go to my apartment when I need to get away for awhile, or with Ward.

Just as I get out of Coulson`s grip ready to punch him, I spot May coming around the corner, probably from hearing the screaming. As she spots me and Coulson, she forces everyone to leave and makes her way over to us in a hurry. Just as I start to scream at Coulson again, May grabs me by the waist and pulls me away from him. 

As she separates us, I feel myself trying to edge closer to him. “Calm down. Skye, look at me,” May says as she spins me around. Her hands are now holding my wrists as she tries to get my attention from Coulson to her, “What the hell is going on?”

As I turn back to face Coulson, May’s grip loosens on my wrists and she lets me take a step away from her. “Why don’t you ask him?” I say, raising my hand to point at Coulson. As I continue to speak I can feel the tears resurfacing, threatening to spill over, “You could have stopped him. He listens to you. He respects you, we all did. He trusts you. I trusted you. I trusted you and you just let this happen. Not only did you let it happen, you helped.” I can feel the tears starting to fall again; anger and sadness running through my veins.

May slowly starts to walk towards Coulson. When she stands only a few feet to the side of him she asks, “What’s going on?” I throw my hands up to my face, covering my eyes as I think. How could I have let this happen? How did I not see it? My breaths start to become faster again. 

Not noticing my parents, who have been silently stood by the door this whole time, I hear my so-called mother say, “Daisy, please calm down. I don’t know -” Before she has chance to finish I shout back at her, removing my hands from my face, “Shut the hell up, that’s not my name.” 

How dare she call me that, how dare she assume she knows me or what I’m going through. Acting like she cares about me. She abandoned me my whole life and now she thinks it alright to have a say. I can’t breathe. I can feel myself becoming overwhelmed. I try to steady my breathing but it doesn’t work. I can’t do it.

As my head suddenly starts to spin, I feel someone touch my arm. When I look up to see who it is, I realise May has come to my side and is holding me up, trying to steady me. I look into her eyes, as she says, “It’s okay, it’s okay, just breathe. Copy my breathing, ready…” As I copy May’s breathing, I can feel myself slowly start to calm down. 

When my breaths become steady and my head stops spinning, I let the tears fall again. Despite May not knowing what’s going on, she pulls me into a warm embrace and soothingly whispers in my ear that everything’s going to be alright. In that single moment I try to forget everything that’s happened and think of the face of the man who always calms me down, Grant Ward. 

——————————

After a few minutes, I pull away from the hug and wipe the tears from my eyes. Not letting go of my arms, May calmly says, “Skye, look at me. I’m going to help you but I can’t help unless I know what’s going on, so tell me what happened.”

I look at her directly in the eyes. I try so hard not to break down as I say his name, “Ward. It’s Ward.” Just as the words leave my lips, Fitz and Simmons come wandering around the corner, both happily talking to each other in a world of their own, unaware of the chaos.

As Fitz’s eyes wander over to us, he notices me and says, “Oh Skye, I’ve been looking for you all day. Where’ve you been? Anyway doesn’t matter. Have you seen Ward? I’ve been working on this new gun that he needs to try, and probably criticize. Like an ounce off, seriously?” 

Before he can continue Simmons starts, “But you sorted that, Fitz. He’s just very picky.” Fitz nods in agreement before continuing the conversion with Simmons, still in a world of their own, “Yeah I know, Simmons. But I mean come on, an ounce off. I can’t believe…”

He starts to trail off as his confused eyes scan the room, looking at all of our faces. He notices the two new people first and his eyes scrunch up in confusion, his strong Scottish accent filling the room as he speaks, “Who the bloody hell are you?” No one answers. He looks over to Coulson, then at May and then his gaze finally stops on me. From May standing at my side, basically holding me up and my eyes red from crying, he knows something bad has happened.

“What’s going on?” Fitz says to no one in particular. His voice, so cheerful and full of excitement when he first came in, has vanished. Now his voice is almost a whisper, afraid of what’s to come. Simmons stands silently by his side, she doesn’t speak a word. You can see on her face, she’s afraid. She knows whatever’s happened can’t be good. 

“Fitz, it's best if we take this somewhere else, somewhere more private,” May replies, looking towards my parents and at all of the security cameras around us. Even though she doesn’t know much about the situation, May knows this isn’t a conversation for here.

“I’m not going anywhere, not until you tell me what the hell is going on,” Fitz interrupts, his voice getting louder. 

Coulson turns his head to face him and calmly says, “Fitz, please, not here -” Fitz turns away from him to look at me and Coulson goes silent. 

Fitz’s brow is now crinkled in confusion. He looks hurt and afraid, and it makes my heart ache even more. “Skye, please,” He begs, the desperation clear in his voice. I can feel the events of what happened coming back to me. I know I have to relive it, for them. They care about him just as much as I do.

——————————

As I try to hold back my tears again, I struggle to reply, “It’s Ward.” Just as his name leaves my lips, Fitz’s body freezes in fear, thinking of all the terrible things that could have happened to him, “We went on a mission, well kind of. It was just the two of us, I… I thought we could handle it, but,” I start to feel the warmth of the tears on my cheeks, returning again for the a millionth time today, and after what’s happened I don’t expect them to stop anytime soon, “We couldn’t, I couldn’t do anything to stop them. I didn’t know what he did, what he already planned. He planned it; he knew what was going to happen and … I couldn’t stop them.” I take a deep breath, trying to compose myself and gather my thoughts.

As I look directly into Fitz’s eyes, I can see that tears have started to form. His contagious smile is gone. Now all that remains is a sad, heartbroken frown, “It’s Slade. They have him. He let them take him.” I can feel the guilt building up inside of me. Saying it out loud makes me realise that this whole time, as I’ve been blaming everyone else it’s really me who’s to blame. He did this for me. He let them take him for me.

A small laugh escapes from Fitz’s mouth. He shakes his head as he looks at all of us. As he raises his hand to wipe his forehead, I watch him carefully, confused at his sudden outburst of a laugh. How can he laugh after what I’ve just said? After what’s happened? But that’s when I see it, the look of desperation and disbelief. He doesn’t want to believe what happened, he’s trying to convince himself it’s not real. Denial has started to cloud thoughts.

“Right, come on guys. Where is he? This is by far the worst prank you’ve played, ever,” He says as his arm goes back down to his side. He looks at me, waiting for an answer, waiting for me to tell him it’s not real, that this is all just some big joke. I don’t say a thing, none of us do. I just look at him. I don’t know what to do. “You almost had me there, really you did. But come on, where is he? I bet he’s hiding somewhere over there isn’t he?” 

As Fitz points behind a corner, Coulson slowly starts to walk over to him and in a soothing voice he says, “Fitz…” As he reaches his arm out to place on Fitz’s shoulder. Fitz scrunches up his face and forcefully shrugs Coulson off, pushing his arm away. He takes a few steps away from Coulson and Simmons, so he stands alone. 

As he looks at everyone’s faces, trying to read our expressions, I can tell that his brain is trying to figure it out. He looks at me, dead in the eye, as he says, “If this is some kind of sick joke… It’s not funny.”

——————————

_“It’s not funny,” Fitz says, walking into the lounge with shaving cream smothered all down the left side of his face. We all burst into hysterical laughter at the sight of him. “I was sleeping peacefully…Very clever Simmons,” He says as he turns his gaze towards her._

_“I didn’t- I didn’t do it.” She barely manages to get her words out through her laugh._

_“Well Ward, I don’t appreciate -” Fitz raises his hand as he looks at Ward, revealing even more of the shaving cream that’s all over his hand. “Don’t look at me,” Ward replies, laughing._

_This is one of the rare occasions I’ve ever seen Ward truly laughing, “Okay well, Skye?” He turns to face me and I reply, laughing as well, “No.”_

_“Well who then? The bunks should be off limits.” Fitz looks at us with a serious expression. The cream on his face and his serious expression just makes us all burst into even more laughter, it becomes louder and louder and suddenly we can’t stop ourselves. “No, don’t laugh because I know it was one of you,” Fitz says defensively, trying to wipe off some of the cream on his face._

_I look around at my team; Fitz staring at each of us with his angry face, Simmons clutching her stomach from laughing too much while trying to breathe and Ward, his mouth forming a true smile while he continues laughing. As I watch them, the people who I care about more than anything, I realise that these people are my family and I wouldn’t change it for the world._

——————————

The memory of our board game night starts to fade, bringing me back to reality. I wish this was just a joke, like Fitz is trying to convince himself, but it isn’t. 

“This isn’t a joke, Fitz,” I quietly say, walking towards him. I notice his hands have started to violently shake so I reach out to hold them. He doesn’t push me away like he did with Coulson; he lets my hands hold his. I look towards Simmons who still stands silently; tears quickly falling down her face. I can tell by the way she keeps wiping her eyes that she can’t stop them falling, even though she trying to hold them in, she can’t. She knows this isn’t a joke. 

I look back to Fitz; watching the tears in his eyes build up. I watch him as he shakes his head from side to side in denial. I can feel the tears starting to run down my face. I know this is going to be hard, for all of us. “They have him, Fitz… He’s gone.” As the words leave my mouth I burst into sobs. The fact hitting me again that Ward’s not here, that he’s with them and I don’t know how to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Skye learns who Ward traded his life for and the rest of the team are beginning to find out about what's happened to Ward.
> 
> From now on it's just sad, sad, sad. 
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos. I hope you liked this chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

Despite the continuing tears falling down Fitz’s face and his body threatening to break down any minute, he pulls me into a strong embrace. I feel his body shaking against mine as my arms wrap around him. I rest my head on his shoulder and let the tears roll down onto his jumper. He holds me tighter and I can feel the warmth of his tears fall onto my hair. We stand in each others arms, needing the comfort and support not only of another person, but of someone who cares for Ward as much as we do.

The past couple of months we’ve all been getting closer, not only as work colleges but as a team, a real family. We’ve been taking time to get to know each other. We’ve had films nights, played board games, and days out (when we have time off).

I know that Ward was never one to make friends or even talk to people in general, but being part of this team, it changed him. He started letting people in. And he gained a family because of it. 

Ever since Fitz and Ward went on that mission together, just the two of them, they’ve become much closer. No one really knows what happen to them on that mission. They were gone for days. I know that that mission was tough, for both of them. The only thing said about the mission when we got them back was that Ward had Fitz’s back and Fitz had Ward’s, since then they’ve always had each other backs, no matter what.

They went into that mission without knowing the full facts, without knowing what S.H.I.E.L.D had planned. No extraction team was coming to get them when the mission was completed; Agent Hand, the woman who was in charge of the operation, never planned on sending one in for them. It was a suicide mission. After the job was done they were on their own. Luckily before they were both killed, we realised that no one was going in after them and we got there in time to get them both out ourselves. Coulson agreed that we were going to get them, despite Hand’s orders not to intervene. We don’t abandon our own, especially not our team.

When we found them after the mission they were beaten up and exhausted, well mainly Ward was. He had three broken ribs, a serve concussion and was covered in cuts and bruises. He dealt with the worst of the violence and had to spend 3 days under the surveillance of a S.H.I.E.L.D`s medic team, a minimum of 3 days and he did not spend any more time there than that. He hated every minute of it. He hated feeling like he was being babysat, no matter how much we tried to convince him otherwise.

Fitz had a deep cut down his cheek which he insisted didn’t need stitches, but definitely did. He hated blood or anything remotely painful but Simmons insisted he had them. The details of that mission were never told or spoken of. Neither of them told us what happened but we know it couldn’t have been easy for them.

A few days later we received a report saying that Agent Hand had been removed from office and stripped of her S.H.I.E.L.D title for retaining vital information of a mission and endangering the lives of fellow agents. That’s the last we heard of her or the mission. 

————————-

As Fitz and I break from our embrace, I turn to see Simmons making her way towards us with tears still forming in her eyes. When she gets close enough to us, Fitz reaches his hand out to hold hers, giving her reassurance and comfort, but it’s not only reassurance for her, it’s for himself as well.

May starts to slowly walk towards us as well. She looks to Coulson and says, “Coulson, you take …” May looks over her shoulder in the direction of where my parents are. She’s not sure what she should call them so she just continues and says, “Them to a spare bunk for the night and make sure they have everything they need. I’ll take these back to the bus. We’ll talk when you’re done.”

Coulson nods and walks over to where my parents are stood. He says something to them and they nod along with him.

As he ushers them down a corridor to where I guess the spare rooms are, I look back at Coulson. I don’t completely blame him for what’s happened but I do believe he could have done more to stop him. If I know anything it’s that Coulson can be very convincing, especially with the people who his opinion matters greatly too. And Ward is one of them people. He values Coulson`s opinion and looks up to him. Coulson`s like the father he never had but always dreamed of, and he helped him hand himself over to his psychopath of a brother. 

————————-

When we reach the bus, May directs us to the lab and tells us to wait for Coulson to arrive so we can talk. After a few minutes she starts to get impatient and decides that she’s going to go and find him herself. When the lab doors close shut behind May; leaving me, Fitz and Simmons in the lab, I can feel my heart beating rapidly against my chest.

To try and distract myself from my increasing heart rate and the headache forming, I look around the lab. I watch as Fitz struggles to make his way over to his chair, his whole body still shaking from what he’s just come to accept, while Simmons stands completely still trying to process and come to terms with what has happened. We’re all fed up and just want this nightmare to be over, but it’s not something we can just wake up from. This is real.

As we all anxiously wait for Coulson and May to return, I rest my hands on the holo-table, trying to steady myself before my whole body decides to give way. Simmons has changed from standing still to pacing in the corner of the room. Fitz just keeps running his fingers through his hair while his leg quickly moves up and down, shaking the chair he’s resting on. After what feels like forever, I hear the slide of the lab doors open. My head jerks up to see May and Coulson walking through them, sad expressions covering both of their faces. The next conversation isn’t going to be pleasant.

————————-

Coulson stops just inside the lab and takes in a deep breath. He looks to May and she moves away from him. “I know I’ve got a lot of explaining to do and I understand that you’re mad with me, Skye but-”

Fitz suddenly looks up to Coulson in confusion, “Explain? Why do you need to explain? Why would she be mad at you?”

Before Coulson has the chance to say another word, I look at Fitz and reply for him, “Because he knew what Ward was going to do and he helped him do it.”

Fitz snaps his head from me to Coulson, his lips turning in disgust as he shouts, “You did what?”

Coulson raises his hand in an attempt to stop Fitz from saying anything else and says, “There was no other choice; Ward made it perfectly clear that -”

Simmons, who has stopped pacing and is looking intensely at Coulson, interrupts, “Are you serious right now? You knew about what he was going to do this whole time and you didn’t tell us? You helped him do it.”

Coulson looks towards Simmons as he places a hand on the holo-table and starts to speak again, “Look, just let me explain. Ward came to me and -”

Simmons starts shaking her head, bringing her hands up to her face as says, “This is unbelievable.” I can see Coulson trying to calm himself as he takes in another deep breath, but it only makes him more agitated.

With Simmons shaking her head in disbelief; my deadly stare drilling holes into the table and the tension in the air which is starting to suffocate us, Coulson finally snaps. He slams his hands down on the holo-table causing all of us to look at him. “There was nothing I could do, nothing!” Coulson shouts, his hands that were resting on the table have now pushed off it, making his body stand up straight.

He closes his eyes, trying to calm himself. He takes in another deep breath then slowly opens his eyes and continues, “He came to me a couple of weeks ago and told me what he planned to do. I told him that he couldn’t do it, that it was stupid plan and he would get himself killed, or worse. I tried to stop him, to change his mind. I really did. I tried everything to stop him but he wouldn’t. He knew what he was going to do and nothing I said or did was going to change that. He told me that he wasn’t asking for permission, that he was going to do it with or without my help, but if I helped him, it would be better for him and for all of you.”

“He said he couldn’t let anyone at S.H.I.E.L.D know that he had contact with Slade, it would ruin everything. So he asked me to help him. He also needed to get out without been followed. If any of you knew what he was doing, you would have followed him. But when I saw you both, leaving together on the cameras without telling anyone, I knew that it was happening. If you knew it would have put all of your lives at risk and I couldn’t … I couldn’t let anyone else get hurt. Ward knew what he was doing and he knew the risks. He told me that he didn’t care, the only thing he cared about was protecting all of you. He told me that he couldn’t let anything happen to you all and that he needed me to ensure you were all safe.”

As I look up to Coulson, I see tears starting to form in his eyes. May walks over to him, noticing them too, and places her hand on his shoulder. When she reaches him, his head drops to look down at his feet. After a few seconds of silence pass, Coulson tries to compose himself. Once he’s finished calming himself down, he lifts his head up to face us. May slowly takes her hand off his shoulder and places it by her side as she takes a few steps back.

“I never wanted him to do it, but I knew he wouldn’t stop. Not until he got them back for you,” Coulson says. He looks at me sympathetically as he says, “I’m sorry.”

Simmons slowly walks over to me, the look of confusion covering her face. She places her hand over mine and looks me in the eye as she says, “Skye?” I start to shake my head, not really wanting to accept the truth. What he did, it was all for me.

The tears roll down my cheeks as I try to speak, “It’s my fault. I … He did this for me. They had my real parents and… He sacrificed himself to save them. He said that it was to make me happy. He did this for me. It’s my fault he gone. It’s all my fault -”

Before I can continue, Simmons grabs me and holds me tightly in her arms, my tears now rolling onto her shirt. I try to continue speaking, “I’m so sorry. He -” But Simmons cuts me off again and pulls me to look at her as she says, “It’s not your fault, okay? This is not your fault. Look, come here.” She pulls me into her arms again, and I wrap my arms around her.

I quietly let the tears fall down as I turn my head to look at Fitz. He still sits in his chair, his face red from all of the tears. He spots me looking at him and gives me a small reassuring smile and nods. He doesn’t blame me for what’s happened I can see it on his face. None of them do, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t blame myself. 

As I get out of Simmons grip, I turn back around to face Coulson. We look at each other in silence. I don’t apologise for what I’ve said and done to him but I can see he doesn’t care, none of that matters, not now. Coulson speaks up, breaking the silence, “For the time being S.H.I.E.L.D is safe. He told me that he wouldn’t tell them anything about S.H.I.E.L.D or about us. He’s trained for situations like this. But that won’t matter for much longer because we’re getting him back.” We all look at Coulson, full of hope at the mention of the return of our robot.

“I’m not going to let him stay with them, I never was. I have no doubt that S.H.I.E.L.D’s secrets are safe. Slade won’t learn anything out about us from Ward. For now we have time to ....” As Coulson continues I realise that they don’t know the truth about Slade, about Christian. They still think it’s about finding out S.H.I.E.L.D`s secrets. Ward only found out it was his brother when we got there. They still think it’s about S.H.I.E.L.D.

“You don’t know. Wait, this isn’t about S.H.I.E.L.D,” I say. All eyes are on me now as I try to explain the truth, “It never was. They don’t care about that, they never wanted our secrets. It was just a distraction, something to get us off their trail. This whole time it was Ward. They wanted him all along.”

Coulson looks at me, his brow raised in confusion, “Why would they just want Ward?”

I take a sniff and wipe away the tears from my face as I reply, “Because Slade isn’t a they, it’s a he. And he’s a psychopath. He’s got hundreds of men at his every command, working for him. He doesn’t care about S.H.I.E.L.D. This isn’t business for him, this is personal. The man who’s in charge of Slade, the man who has Ward, his name is Christian and he’s Ward’s older brother.”

————————-

_“Come on,” Ward says from behind me as he shadows my attempt to punch the bag, ”You need to put your arms closer to your face and aim higher.” This is my fifth day training with Ward as my S.O and I’m not doing well. I keep trying to make jokes to lighten the mood but Ward isn’t having any of it, he just shrugs them off and tells me to concentrate._

__

__

_“Oh come on Ward, lighten up,” I say as he ignores yet another one of my jokes. I turn to face him and see he’s getting annoyed at me._

__

__

_“You’re going into the field in a few days and it’s my job, as your S.O, to prepare you. Unless you start taking this seriously, you’ll end up getting yourself killed. And this time I won’t be there to save you. You need to learn how to fight for yourself. So, go again.” I roll my eyes and face the punching bag. This is getting so boring. It’s just punching after punching. He grabs my arms and raises them to position._

__

__

_After about five minutes I say, “Can we take a break? Punching this bag is driving me insane.” Before I can walk away, he grabs my arm raising it back into the punching position._

__

__

_“Ten more minutes then you can have a quick break before we do another 10.” I let out a loud sigh. Ward walks over to the other side of the punching bag and holds it still as I try to punch it._

__

__

_“Every agent has a defining moment. When they have to make the hard call, to either dedicate yourself to this or curl up in a ball and run,” Ward says as he stares at my hands punching the bag._

__

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_“How can you run if you’re curled up in a ball?” I reply, smiling at him cockily. He doesn’t say anything back. “So Agent Ward, what was yours, your defining moment?” I ask._

__

__

_He looks up at me and says, “Ten more minutes.” I sigh at him again, “If you want me keep punching the bag, you should at least try and make it more bearable, maybe try opening up for once.”_

__

__

_After I say that I can see his frustration growing as he now lets go of the bag. “You’re going into the field with no self defence skills and you’re asking me to make training bearable?” Ward says, his face scrunched up in disbelief and anger._

__

__

_“Well yeah, at least then I might not die of boredom here, without even going into the field,” I reply, taking a step away from the bag to look at him._

__

__

_“You need muscle memory; techniques that you can use without thinking, fundamentals. You need the tools to turn yourself -” “- into a whole bag of tools,” I interrupt._

__

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_“Look, this is all new for me. I’m sorry I’m not naturally whatever you are.”_

__

__

_He walks closer to me until we’re breathing the same air, only a few feet apart. His eyes look down at me as he says, “You think this came naturally to me? I had a brother who beat the crap out of me, for nothing, for eating a piece of his birthday cake and when he was finished with me he’d take it out on my younger brother. And my parents, they were worse. I decided that I wasn’t going to let them hurt us, not anymore. I had to learn to protect us, the way I am trying to protect you. That was my moment, you asked.”_

__

__

_I look up to him and our eyes meet. I had no idea of what he’d been through, no wonder he doesn’t open up or talk to people. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for him. “I’m sorry, for pushing so hard.”_

__

__

_As he puts the painful memory of his past behind him, he turns away from me. He doesn’t want to talk about it any further and I don’t push him, instead I go back to punching the bag._

__

————————-

Coulson turns around and slams his fist into the lab door behind him, releasing just how bad this all is. Ward’s in this much deeper than he thought. If this was just about S.H.I.E.L.D, the dangers Ward would be in wouldn’t have been as high. But now, knowing that it’s his brother that has him, he realises just how dangerous this is for Ward. Coulson knows bits and pieces about Ward’s childhood from his file. I’m guessing the file includes information on Christian.

“What does his brother want with him?” Fitz asks.

Coulson turns back to face us as he says, “All I know about Ward’s past and his family is what I’ve read in his file. Look we all know Ward isn’t exactly forthcoming when it comes to information about himself but you need to know this for you to understand.”

“To say he had a bad upbringing would be an understatement. His mother was an alcoholic. She didn’t work so she stayed at home most of the time. She hated her kids and she made sure they knew it, well apart from the younger two.” Coulson continues, “She turned Ward into her slave. If he didn’t get the alcohol for her he’d starve, if he didn’t clean the floor he’d get locked in the closet for hours as punishment. And his father, well his father was worse. He’s powerful, a well respected senator to the public. He was abusive but only towards Ward. His mother made sure that their father wouldn’t hurt the youngest two. She protected them but not Ward. And his father didn’t touch Christian, the oldest. The medical record of Ward’s childhood includes everything from broken bones, bruises, cuts, gashes, black eyes. Anything you can think of, he had had it. They were all written off as accidents, his father made sure of it.”

The look on everyone’s faces as we listen carefully to Coulson’s words mirror my own expression: sadness, disgust and anger, “Ward said that after everything their parents did, it turned his brother into a monster. His father taught his eldest everything he knew. Made him just like him, his little protégé. I heard that Christian was following in the footsteps of their father and working toward becoming a senator as well. How people believe their act is beyond me, but there’s not a lot we can do to stop them. And nothing can be found on the younger two, from what it looks like they went off the grid when they were only teenagers.”

“In Ward’s file it states that Christian would threaten Ward, make him do things and if he didn’t do them, he would beat him, a real beating and his father taught him how. He was proud of him, he encouraged it. Christian would hurt Ward so bad that he’d have to be sent to urgent care. I think at about 14 Ward was sent to Military school. He was there for about a year. He didn’t cause any trouble and he kept his head down but then one day out of the blue he stole a car and drove home. He burned his house to the ground with his parents and Christian still inside. They survived and Ward was sent to Juvie at 15. Before his family tried to get him sent down for attempted murder S.H.I.E.L.D found him and gave him a chance to start over. He never saw any of his family again.”

————————-

_“Before, when you said that if I wanted to talk we could get a drink, I backed out then, but well if we want to try this, us,” Ward says gesturing to me and then back at himself, “then you should know the truth.” I join Ward on the sofa, he sits at one side and I sit at the other. I look towards him, confused and slightly afraid of what’s to come._

__

__

_“I told you about my brother, what he did to me, but I also lied to you.” He places his arms on his thighs nervously and slightly leans over. His eyes drop to the floor for a moment until he slowly brings them back up to look into mine, “My brother, he didn’t just beat me and my younger brother. No, he was crueler than that. He made me do it, and I let him. I was terrified of him. I hurt my little brother because I didn’t want him to hurt me. He begged me to stop, to help him,” His eyes brim with tears as he slowly shakes his head from side to side. “I am not a good man, Skye.”_

__

__

_I edge closer to him until our knees are touching and lightly place my hand under his chin to look at him. As his eyes stare into mine, I look at his scars and the fresh new cuts on his face. I know he would do anything to protect the people he cares about, just like he did for me today._

__

__

_He took down 12 agents so that I could reach the tech-room. He did it despite the risks and me telling him that it was suicide. He did it because he always puts others before himself._

__

__

_“Yes, you are,” I reply back to him. I know with all my heart that he is good. I see it with my own two eyes everyday. He just needs to believe it. His eyes look over my face, looking from my eyes then down to my lips. As my hand falls from his chin, he grabs my face with both of his hands and crashes his lips into mine._

__

————————-

“We have to get him back,” Fitz states as he stands up off the chair. He walks over to the holo-table, where we’re all stood.

“Yes we do, but how? Every time we get even a hint on Slade they vanish,” Simmons replies. I look from May and Coulson back to Fitz and Simmons, we all want Ward back but we have no clue on how to get him. “They’re always one step ahead of us. I can ask some of my friends at the hub to help, only people who I trust. Then we can find him and get the evidence needed to get them all locked away for good,” Simmons continues.

Coulson nods in agreement and says, “Tomorrow, you and Fitz ask your friends to help, but only people who you trust. We can’t have it getting out that we’re looking for them. Skye, you need to act like you’ve left S.H.I.E.L.D, make it seem like S.H.I.E.L.D is continuing business as usual, go to your apartment. That’s the only advantage we have over them. If they think we don’t care, their defences will be down and they won’t expect an ambush. Act like you’re mad with us for not doing anything to help him, it’s most likely they’re still monitoring you. May and -”

I interrupt him before he can say anything else, “I can’t just sit back. I need to be doing something. I need to help, you’re all doing-”

Coulson shakes his head, “No, don’t fight me on this, Skye. I know what you’re thinking, but you are doing something. They can’t know that we’re going after them. You need to do this if were going to get him back.” I nod slightly at him. I don’t like not being able to actually do anything to find him but Coulson`s right, they’ll still be watching me. I need to distract them for this to work. He can’t know we’re after him.

“May and I will get support from Fury. He’ll have agents that can help us take Slade down for good. For now all of you go back to the bunker, it’s been a long day. Get some sleep. You’re going to need it.” With that Coulson and May leave the lab, walking back to their own rooms for some rest. We all watch as they descend up the stairs and out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: the mission Ward and Fitz were sent on in this is not completely accurate to how they presented it in the show. The details of that mission will be explained in future chapters.
> 
> The team learn more about Ward’s past and are now starting to form a plan to get Slade gone and also bring Ward home. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. I know it’s quite a big chapter but there was a lot to include.  
> Much love!


	5. Chapter 5

As I’m about to suggest that we for once listen to Coulson and head back to our bunks, Fitz turns and storms over to his lab desk. He places his hands on the edge of the table and leans his head over. Simmons slowly walks towards him, ready to comfort him, before abruptly stopping at the sudden noise of Fitz’s hands slamming onto the metal desk. He takes a breath before pushing all of his belongings to the floor with a loud thud, causing Simmons to jump.

“Fitz...” Simmons calmly starts before he interrupts her, “How did we let this happen? How didn’t we see what was going on? Now Ward’s evil, narcissistic brother has him captive god-knows where and is doing god-knows what to him while we're supposed to just go back to the bunk and sleep!” Fitz shouts, raising his hands to his head.

“We’ll find him, Fitz. We’ll get him back,” Simmons replies. She turns to look at me, “We will. I know we will. But we can’t do anything right now. We need to get some rest so that tomorrow we can get what we need to bring him home.”

Fitz shakes his head back and forth, “How are your friends at the hub going to find him? They’re smart, Simmons. They’re always one step ahead of us. He’s always one step ahead of us. How is this time any different? His brother knows what he’s doing -”

Simmons starts to walk up to Fitz again as she says, “His guard will be down now. If he thinks we don’t care, he won’t be as careful. That’s how we find him. We can find Ward and get the proof we need to take down Slade, to take down his brother for good. Then…” Fitz’s eyes have started watering again as Simmons continues, “Then we can get Ward and he’ll be safe from his brother, forever.”

“I promised him,” Fitz says, looking at both me and Simmons, “We promised each other.” I walk over to where Fitz and Simmons are, watching as Fitz wipes his eyes.

I stand next to Simmons as she says, “What are you talking about, Fitz?” Fitz closes his eyes, taking in a long deep breath before looking at us again.

“When we went on that mission, just the two of us, Ward told me just before I started activating the detonator that no one was coming to get us. He told me to make a run for it and that he could do it from there. I thought it was because he thought I was a coward and that I couldn’t handle it, but it wasn’t. It was because he made a promise, that he would take care of me.”

————————-

_“Alright, show me the final steps to activate this thing. I’ll get it done,” Ward says anxiously as he stands by my side watching me put the codes in to activate the bomb._

_“No, we stick to the extraction plan. I’ll be done in a minute,” I reply, my fingers working fast._

_After a few seconds of silence Ward says, “Extraction teams a bust.” I look towards him, “What?” the shock and fear clearly noticeable in my voice. “They haven’t made contact. I’m guessing that Hand never planned on sending one in, so once you tell me what to do and I activate this thing, we’re on our own. You should go.”_

_I turn my head away from Ward and back to the detonator. I take a moment to process what he’s just said, that no one's coming to get us. “I’m not leaving,” I reply. I won’t just leave him here on his own and besides he doesn’t have a clue how to activate it. You can’t just explain it._

_“Fitz, there’s no time to -” Before he has chance to finish I interrupt him and turn to face him again, “You don’t think I can handle this?” I can feel the anger building up inside of me._

_“No, I’m trying to protect you -” I take a deep sigh before saying, “Oh, so you think I’m a coward is that it?” He looks at me as he shakes his head and says, “No-” I interrupt him again, “I am every bit the S.H.I.E.L.D agent that you are.” I turn back to the detonator, my arm slamming into his as I swing back around._

_“Whoa,” he says, moving his arm back to his side, “You don’t have anything to prove. What you said about me always having to swoop in to save the day, I know that you would have jumped out of that plane to save Simmons and she knows that too.”_

_I turn back to face him now, “I’m not trying to prove anything to anyone.” And I’m not. I admit at first I was mad at him for taking the parachute off me to jump but I got over it ages ago. He saved her life, that’s all that matters. She told me that she knew I would have jumped out of that plane for her if Ward wouldn’t have shown up and I would have, even though I was terrified. She said that she was glad I didn’t jump because she would have freaked, and so am I. I know I would have jumped if it came down to it, luckily it didn’t. Ward really saved us both when he jumped._

_“Look before we left, you’re not the only one Coulson talked to, okay? He told me to take care of you too. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m not going anywhere, you understand?” Ward looks at me and I can see the confusion in his eyes._

_Did he really think I wouldn’t look out for him? That’s when I realise the reason for his sudden expression. Not many people have looked out for him, he’s a specialist. He’s known for getting the job done, alone. He’s never had anyone watching his back, protecting him. Well that’s changed, he has me now._

_He slowly nods at me, trying to understand what I’ve just told him. I turn back to the detonator for the last time and continue, “And I’m bloody starving.”_

————————-

“He became like a brother to me then. He saved my life. When the men came, Ward tried to fight them off but they were too many of them. One of them had snuck up behind him and knocked him around the head with a pipe. I watched as he fell to the floor. I tried to run to him but -but the man who hit him was already picking his body off the floor while I was being held back by another man. I was screaming, shouting for him but he didn’t open his eyes. I was- I was terrified. I thought -” Fitz takes a deep breath.

He looks up at the ceiling, trying to fight the tears forming in his eyes and then back to us as he continues, “I thought he was dead. The man who knocked him out checked for a pulse and after few seconds he nodded to the other men that he was alive. They dragged us into the back of a van and covered our faces. They took us to this hut thing and tied us up. I was tied to a pole, my hands behind my back and Ward was tied up in front of me, his hands were raised above his head, dangling from the ceiling. He had already taken a good beating trying to fight the men off, and you could tell."

“He was exhausted. He was in and out of consciousness constantly. He needed medical attention, fast. He had blood all over his face. I knew that we couldn’t get out, they were men everywhere. They were at least four men inside the hut with us and god-knows how many were outside. All of them were armed. And Ward, he was far too weak to even move.”

I can feel the tears picking at my eyes. I remember when they got back from that mission; Fitz was shaking like crazy, from the cold and fear. I remember Simmons tried to get him to the lab to examine him but he wouldn’t go, not until he knew Ward was safe. And Ward, he was being dragged up the ramp of the bus by Coulson and May holding his arms over their shoulders.

As Ward’s feet dragged along the floor, his head dangled in front of him. He was covered from head to toe in his own blood. There were cuts and bruises all over his injured body. I remember as I ran towards him, not thinking about anything but him as the tears formed in my eyes. Coulson screamed for the on-call medic as he and May carefully placed Ward onto the emergency stretcher.

I grabbed his hand in mine, holding on tightly. I didn’t care about the people watching, or all the questions I would get from Coulson later on for clutching the hand of my S.O like my life depended on it. I just wanted to be there for him.

I could feel the warmth of my small hand transferring into his cold, blood-covered hand. He was unconscious and his eyes were closed shut. I said his name over and over again, telling him that everything’s going to be alright and that he was safe now.

Only a few hours before that moment, Ward and I were saying goodbye and I was wishing him good luck for the mission. A few hours later and he was all bloody and beaten, lying unconscious on a stretcher waiting to be helped. I watched as his chest slowly rose and fell while I ran my free hand through his hair. I could sense Coulson and May were watching me, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was Ward.

And as I watched his unconscious form, I couldn’t help but think of what I’ve just come to realise. I’ve never been this scared for someone else before. I’ve never felt this aching feeling that just kept growing and growing in the pit of my stomach. Every time I looked at Ward’s beaten and bloody frame it came and I felt like I was going to throw up.

I’ve been worried for someone I cared about before but this, this was more than that. I was petrified. He’s my S.O, of course I would be scared for him I told myself. And not only that he’s my friend.

But as I kept running my hand through his hair and the only thing I wanted at that moment was to look into his eyes and hear his soothing voice telling me it’s going to me alright, I realised that maybe it was more than that, more than just two colleagues, more than just friendship. I cared about him more than anyone I’ve ever met, and I’ve only known him for a short period of time. 

But my thought was cut short as Fitz and Simmons voices filled the bus. They both bickered with each other until finally Fitz gave up and ran over to us, ignoring Simmons’ worried and insistent words. When Fitz’s eyes landed on Ward, he never looked away. Soon after, Simmons walked over to us, still not realising the state Ward was in. When she spotted him on the stretcher she gasped in horror, her hands shooting up to her mouth. That’s when she realised why Fitz didn’t want help, he wanted to be with his friend. We all gathered around Ward, worried to death as we waited.

After a few minutes, the medic came rushing down the stairs with two others following close behind. She wheeled Ward into the small medical bay on the bus while we waited impatiently outside the room for any further news. As the door creaked open revealing the medic, she said that we needed to set the plane off back to the hub immediately because we had very limited supplies with us and Ward needed more equipment and better supplies for her to operate with the state he’s in.

As soon as the words left her mouth, May shot off to fly the plane. The medic told us that he was stable and that he was going to be fine, we just needed to get back to the hub immediately. For the rest of the flight back we waited outside of the medical bay in silence, thinking about what awaited Ward when we arrived back at the hub.

————————-

“All of the men were stood together near the door of the hut, talking in some other language I didn’t know,” Fitz continued, “Then one of them started looking at me. He noticed I was watching them and started making his way over to me. Ward was conscious then and I could see him watching the man as he headed towards me. When the man was standing in front of me, he smiled right before he punched me in the face. My head swung to the side and it came in contact with a huge, like-nail thing that was hanging off the wall.”

“It hurt so much. I couldn’t help but scream out in pain. Ward screamed my name and tried to straighten his body up to lunge at the man, but the restraints held him back. His hands were tied to the ceiling and his feet to the floor. They knew that Ward was much stronger than me so they used more restraints to keep him there. The man raised his hand, ready for round two, but before he could hurt me Ward said the exact words, “Are you really going to hurt him, look at him. He couldn’t fight back even if he wanted to.”

“I remember looking at Ward and thinking what the bloody hell is he doing? Then I realised he was agitating them on purpose. He wanted them to hurt him, so they wouldn’t hurt me. Ward said something in their language to the man and it got all of their attention. All of the men looked at him and the man who hit me was furious. Whatever Ward said, it was bad. The man looked to the side and saw that on the floor was a metal bar. He picked it up and walked towards Ward. Before I knew it, all of the men were surrounding him,” Fitz says shakily, “I fought against the handcuffs but, I couldn’t get to him. I had to watch as the man slammed the pipe into Ward’s rib cage, again and again. I heard the crack of each of his bones. I screamed at the men while Ward clenched his teeth, fighting the pain. I -”

Fitz wipes the tears from his face and continues, “The men left after that, they went outside. Ward’s breaths had turned into shallow gasps. I shouted for him to look at me and he did, well as best as he could. His face was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and his eyes were hazy. I told him that it was going to be okay. That someone would come for us and it would be over, that we would be safe.”

“I promised him that no matter what, I would always be there for him, that I would always protect him. Because we’re brothers and that’s what we do, we look after each other. Before he slipped out of consciousness, I promised him that I would always protect him and he promised that he would always protect me too,” Fitz looks at me, both our eyes tearful, “And now he’s gone. I didn’t protect him when I promised him I would. Now I realise why he is the way he is. He’s never had anyone. I thought it was because he was a specialist, but now I get it. His family never had his back, never cared for him. But we do. We have to get him back, we have to.”

I walk up to him and Simmons follows by my side as I say, “We will get him back. We’re a family. I know that we won’t stop until we have him back.”

Simmons nods to me and then says, “Let’s get some sleep. We’ll need it if we’re going to get him back. We have to be at our strongest. Ward needs us.”

After we’re all in agreement that we need to sleep, we make our way up to the bunks, all of us thinking of the hard days that lie ahead of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just loved the bromance between Ward and Fitz and I wanted to include that here. I miss them.
> 
> Thanks again for continuing with this. It means alot.


	6. Chapter 6

As the hub begins to be filled with people, all ready for the new day; I wander towards the main entrance, ready to play my part in the plan to get Ward back. Coulson and May have set up a meeting with Director Fury for this evening to explain what’s happened and our plan to get him back. We will need his help if we want this to work. Fitz and Simmons are gathering a few of their trusted friends to help track Christian. If we find him, we find Ward. Then we can get proof of what he’s been doing, to finally get him locked away for good. It’s my job to say as far away from S.H.I.E.L.D as possible. We all have our orders and we are all following them.

Just as I’m about to open the doors to leave the hub, I hear my parents call out from behind me. “Daisy- Skye, I mean. Skye, wait please,” my mother says as she runs to me, my father running not far behind. I turn to face them, not saying a word. When they stop a few steps in front of me, my mother takes my father’s hand before saying, “I know we have a lot of explaining to do and we don’t expect you to just forgive us, but we want to try to make things right. Please, just give us one chance to explain and after that, if you want us to leave we will.” She looks at me hopeful.

I don’t know what to say but before I even get the chance to speak my father says, “We just want to talk, maybe get to know you a little; about your life, how you are. We won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to. We just want a chance to make things right, to explain.” I look from him back to my mother. I resemble both of them. I have my father’s eyes, golden with forest green specks, my mother’s button nose and long dark hair.

As I stare at them, I think back to Ward. He saved them for me, for me to have a chance with my real parents. “Okay,” I reply after taking in a deep breath, “We can talk. I’m just about to go to my apartment, why don’t you come? We can talk there. I’m giving you one chance, don’t screw it up.” I owe it to myself and to Ward to find out if they were worth all of the searching and sad nights I spent thinking about them. 

————————-

When we reach my apartment door, I slide the key into the lock and turn. I sense my parents looking at the surroundings of the landing. There’s not much to see, just old paintings and a few plants placed randomly around. This building is quite new and a peaceful place to live. The neighbours don’t bother me, I’ve never actually met any of them since I’m never really here but you never hear them.

Once I’ve opened the door, I usher my parents in. I take their coats and place them on the coat stand by my door. I tell them to sit on the couch while I make us some drinks. My apartment’s only small, all open planned. With my kitchen to the right of the door; the space to cook is limited. The white and grey colour of the kitchen matches with the grey and baby pink living room ahead. 

Slowly walking into the Kitchen, I place my keys on the coffee stand and let out a breath. As I place the keys down, I spot the photo frame next to it. I carefully grab it with both hands and look at the picture inside.

As I stare at the photo, I feel a smile creeping up on my face, remembering the day it was took like it was yesterday.

Fitz, Simmons, Ward and I had decided that on our weekend break we would all go to the beach together. Simmons had her camera out the full day and wouldn’t stop taking photos of everything in sight. Fitz said that she didn’t need to capture everything but she ignored him. After that he had somehow managed to sneak off and buy himself an ice cream. When he came wandering back towards us his ice cream fell from his hand, tumbling onto the floor. His face was covered in shock-horror and sadness, his mouth wide open. The little girl walking past laughed at him while Simmons took a photo of him standing there looking like he was about to cry.

Once the sun had started to set, we all watched as it disappeared behind the sea. Ward had placed his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. My head peacefully rested on his chest while our fingers interlocked. Simmons turned to us, camera in hand while Fitz noticed and said, “Here we go again.” It made us all laugh. Simmons took the photo of Ward and I, happily laughing in each others arms. That photo now rests in this photo frame, a beautiful day filled with joy and happiness.

Caught up in the memory, I didn’t realise my mother had come up behind me and was trying to speak to me. I quickly turn to face her, the photo frame still in my hand. “Sorry, I didn’t notice you were there,” I explain looking at the photo then back at her, “Did you say something?”

She walks up to me while she says, “It’s okay. I was just wondering if you needed help with the drinks.” The drinks! I completely forgot about them, I was too distracted by the photo.

“Oh, yeah. I’ll just do them -” Just as I’m about to make my way over to the fridge, she stops me. “Oh no, it’s fine. We aren’t thirsty, really.” I look at her again and I ask if she’s sure. “Oh yeah we’re fine,” She replies.

Her gaze, once looking at the kitchen, has made its way to look at the photo frame that’s still in my hand. “Oh that’s a lovely photo,” she says with a smile. As she looks at the photo her eyes spot Ward, and the smile disappears from her face, “That’s him isn’t it? The man you were with at the warehouse.”

I take in a deep breath. “Yeah,” I whisper. I place the photo frame back onto the coffee stand carefully, before turning to look at my mother.

She takes my hand and I let her as she says, “Your father and I don’t really know what happened at the warehouse and if you want to talk about it, you can. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

I look back at the photo. The sight of Ward happy makes me smile back, comfort filling my body. “No I want to,” I say turning back to face her. She nods, her hand is still in mine as she walks me over to the sofa.

My father sits anxiously on the cotton arm chair; his hands resting on his knees as he watches us both sit down on the sofa beside him. My mother doesn’t take her hand from mine as we sit. She looks at my father and their eyes meet. As the words leave her mouth, her grip on my hand tightens, giving me and herself reassurance.

“Calvin, Skye said that she’s going to tell us about what happened at the warehouse. But first…” She says softly turning her gaze to me, my father’s eyes soon follow, “You need to know… no, you deserve to know, the truth about…about why we had to give you away.” I’ve dreamt about this moment my whole life, the moment when my parents finally tell me why they abandoned me, why I wasn’t good enough. Yet now, in this moment, I’m terrified.

“The day you were born, when your father and I held you for the first time, we were so happy, our beautiful baby girl there in our arms. It was the happiest moment of our lives. But we had to let you go. We owed lots of money to very powerful people and we couldn’t pay them, we had nothing. We lived in a small apartment and were barely getting by, and with a baby on the way we had no chance. They were coming for us and they were willing to do whatever it took to make us pay. We gave you away so that you could have the best chance and so you would be safe from them. Once we finally paid off our debts and we knew we were safe from them we -” As the words fall out of her trembling lip, the tears soaking her cheeks; she takes in a breath and I hold onto her hand tightly.

I look from my mother over to my father, nodding at them, showing my interest. The anger I once felt towards them slowly starts to disappear, the anger I’ve been clinging to my whole life. All of the possible theories I’ve imagined over the years, it’s finally becoming clear. This is the truth.

“Then we met the man at the warehouse. We made a deal that if they found you for us we would owe them a favour. We would have done anything to find you and we did whatever we could to get you back, even making a deal with these men. But they didn’t hold up on their end of the deal. After a few days, they set up another meeting and told us that they had found you but when we got there they wouldn’t tell us where you were. The next thing we knew we were being tied up and held prisoner. We always hoped that one day you would find us and we could be a family again. We missed you every day. We never wanted to leave you. We just wanted you to live a good life. We loved you so much, enough to let you go.” 

_“Let me go.” _The words echo in my brain. The sound of Ward’s voice making my heart ache again. He told me to let him go, that won’t happen, ever.__

____

____

I look towards my parents, the look on their faces tell me that they know I understand.

____

____

Wait, that’s it. “That’s when he realised how to get Ward. He used what he found out about me to get to him.” The words escape my mouth before I have chance to process what I’ve said. Christian used Slade to find me. When they were looking for me the must have got into S.H.I.E.L.D`s database. That’s how they’re always one step ahead of us; it’s because they know what we were going to do, even before we do it. That’s how they knew Ward was with S.H.I.E.L.D. That’s what led them to Ward; his records, his information, his missions, his contact details. That’s how they contacted him.

____

____

“What’s Ward?” My father questions as my mother tries to compose herself.

____

____

“Ward. His name is Grant Ward, the man who was being taken away at the warehouse, the man in the photo…” Letting go of my mother’s hand, I quickly go over to the coffee table and grab the photo frame. I then rush back to where we’re sat and hand it to my father to look at, “He works with me; he’s an agent. We met over a year ago before I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. I was trying to find the truth out about what they were doing, turns out they found me first and took me in. That’s when I realised that they were actually the good guys. They gave me a choice to work on the team and I agreed to help. I was great at hacking and they needed me.”

____

____

“At first the reason I joined was just to find out more about S.H.I.E.L.D and well, you guys but then I got to know them and what they stood for. I wanted to become apart of it and the team, they became my family. I went on a few simple missions but I never actually left the base, the bus we call it. I was only hacking from my computer. But I knew what I wanted; I wanted to become a real Agent, like Ward. I wanted to be the ones who went in and got the job done. After months of training with Ward I became a level 5 field agent and now I go in the field with him.”

____

____

My mother looks at me, taking in every word I say while my father is on the edge of his seat, eagerly leaning in closer, “The people who you made a deal with, the man you made a deal with. He’s Ward’s brother. He’s in control of an organisation called Slade and has an army of people working for him. He’s been using them to find his brother, to find Ward. He must have used what he found out about me, to find Ward.” 

____

____

After a few minutes of silence, processing everything that’s been said, I decide to tell them everything else, about why Ward was taken. No, why he gave himself up. “I didn’t know what he planned to do. We went to the warehouse to take down Slade; well that’s what I thought. Ward planned to go all along, but he planned to go alone. He didn’t expect me to go with him but I saw it on his desk. I saw their location and I made him take me with him. His brother told me when we were at the warehouse that Ward made a deal, that if he handed himself over he would let you go. He handed himself over to his brother so that I could be with you, so that I could be with my real family. He did this for me, for us. And I don’t know how to -” The words start to feel like they’re choking me. I look up to the ceiling fighting back the tears. My mother has tears in her eyes. She grabs my hand again holding it firmly, waiting for me to continue.

____

____

“I’m so scared. I don’t know what I’d do if we don’t get him back. He cares about me more than anyone and now he’s gone. Because of me, he’s somewhere being held by his psycho of a brother who’s probably hurting him and it’s all because he cares about me, enough to sacrifice himself in order to make me happy. I saw what they were doing to him- I watched as the man I loved was beaten and dragged away. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.”

____

____

I feel the warmth of my mother’s arms engulf me into a steady embrace. As my father stands up from the chair, he places his firm hand onto my shoulder. We stay like this, me in the comforting arms of my parents until after a few minutes I break away needing to text Simmons. When we break from our embrace, I text her about how Christian must have found Ward and that it was by using S.H.I.E.L.D.

____

____

For the rest of the day my parents and I spend it talking and getting to know each other, reconnecting and making up for lost time. They tell me the things that I’ve always wanted to know; they answer the questions I’ve always wanted answered like my birth name, Daisy Johnson. I’m not sure whether to change it back or keep it as Skye. I guess I can think about it once this is all over, when I get my robot back.

____

____

I smile to myself thinking of Ward. None of this would be happening if it weren’t for him. I’ve found my biological family because of him. He is a good man despite what he believes and I will get him back, no matter what it takes. 

____

____

————————-

____

____

After almost 8 days searching for Ward or any trace of Slade we’ve found nothing but dead ends. We’re all working around the clock searching for him, searching for anything just to know he’s alive. But nothing, we have nothing to go off, nothing to give us hope. The lead I had about Christian using S.H.I.E.L.D`s database came up empty. He knows how to cover his hacking. He’s probably got one of his men for that.

____

____

However what they can’t control is the whole of the media. One of Simmons’s friends has uncovered leaked footage of Christian’s men kidnapping and torturing a man near the warehouse. The video looks to have been filmed by one of Christian’s men themselves, leaked onto the internet then instantly deleted. But once it’s online, we can find it. And we did.

____

____

I guess they’re not as good at covering their tracks as they thought.

____

____

They have also found more incriminating evidence of what Slade has been doing, enough to put everyone involved away for good but we have no trace of where they are now.

____

____

We all begin to grow uneasy, slowly losing hope as the days go by. The team is broken, and the only way to fix it is to put the pieces back together, but one piece is nowhere to be found.

____

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: Again, I haven't seen past season 1 so Skye's parents are nothing like how they are presented in the show. 
> 
> For all of you who are wondering when Ward's POV is going to come up, it's coming up next!! 
> 
> What's happened to Ward? What's going to happen to him? What is Christian planning to do with his brother? Let me know what you think so far.
> 
> Thinking about maybe posting another chapter today, so keep posted for more!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading. You don't know how much it means to me. Don’t forget to comment and leave kudos!

WARD

After what feels like hours of continued beatings from Christian, he finally decides he’s had enough. As he walks over to his men, I try to pick myself up off the stone floor but it’s no use. All of my limbs are too weak from the pain and my head feels like it's going to explode any minute. The handcuffs on my wrists, still bounding my hands behind my back, make it almost impossible to get up but it doesn’t stop me from trying. Each time I try to pull myself off the ground I just tumble back down, back into the growing pile of crimson blood which surrounds me.

I’ve lost count of the days I’ve spent here on the floor unable to move, getting beaten by Christian or his men or both, over and over again.

Since we moved from the warehouse the new surroundings I find myself in make me uneasy. Now I’m surrounded by vintage medical beds and medical equipment that look like they’ve been abandoned for years. Blood stains cling to the walls, forever embedded as a memory of all the horror and pain that’s occurred here over time. The white paint from the walls lies in pieces on the floor, falling down over the years. The barred windows have been patched up with wooden barriers making it impossible to see the world that lies outside these broken walls, leaving me to think of all the psychotic plans my dear brother has in store for me.

“So, what do you actually plan to do with me? I’m guessing it's going to be a whole load of brotherly fun,” I spit out, still trying to break free from the handcuffs which only causes more irritation from the wounds surrounding my wrists.

He turns back around to face me. A grin grows on his face as he begins to walk toward me. The smile from his face slowly fades into a blank expression as he kneels down into the pool of my blood. He watches me for a moment before his eyes wander back towards his men, causing them to scatter from each other. Once his men are all in position and are surrounding us, he cups my chin in his hand and forces my head up so our eyes meet.

I let out a small groan for the pain the fast movement caused but Christian gives no reaction. He tilts his head slightly as he begins to study my face. I watch his eyes scan over my features until they stop at my head. I realise he must be looking at the gash on the left. I haven’t seen the damage but from the amount of blood I can feel oozing out every second, I know it must be deep. Before I have time to process what’s going on, his free hand approaches my face, going straight towards my injury.

The touch of his cold, slender fingers on my fresh wound causes me to jolt away but his hand on my chin pulls me back to him. He lets out a small laugh as he moves his hand from my chin to the back of my neck and pulls my head closer to his chest. My head tilts down to the floor and my eyes are forced to stare at all of the blood I’ve lost as his firm grip grows stronger around the back of my neck. As his mouth moves closer to my ear, I can feel my heart rapidly beating against my chest.

The air from his mouth touches my ear as he speaks. “Oh brother, I have big plans for you yet. This, this is just the beginning.” Christian releases his grip from my neck and stands up, looking down at me as he says, “You know, I never apologized for what I said to you in front of Skye. I thought she would have known. I mean you did try to end your own life." I clench my jaw at the mention of what happened, of what I did. Well, what I tried to do. Reliving that moment isn't something I want to do, ever. 

"I thought you would have told the woman you love that little moment. I guess mom’s pills and booze just weren’t enough to do the job. You’re a Coward, Grant. You thought you’d get off that easy, I don’t think so. Anyway, you should be thanking me seen as though it was me who got mom and helped her drag your pathetic ass into the car to get you to the hospital. God if you’d have died then, it would have ruined any chance they had at becoming part of the President’s little inner circle. And they couldn’t have you ruining that, could they?”

“Our little, loving family, the press really believed all that. Dad was and still is a well respected senator and then there's me, the perfect son, following in the footsteps of his father and into the world of politics. Obviously they don’t know about all this, Slade I mean. What can I say, we all have our hobbies. You know if it weren’t for me dragging your unconscious body to the hospital you never would have met Skye would you, the woman of your dreams.”

I wish I could make it so he never speaks a word about her. Her name coming off his sour lips makes me want to punch him all the more, “I saw the way you looked at her, brother. You really do care about her don’t you? How cute, Grant Ward’s in love. But does she know the real you? The man who destroys everything he touches. I guess not if she can still stand to be near you. She’d have left you when she finally realised the truth. We both know you’re not good enough for anyone or anything. It’s better this way. She never has to find out about the real Grant and you, well you get what you deserve.” I give him no reaction. It’s what he wants and I won’t give him what he wants, I won’t. 

“Tie him onto the chair,” Christian instructs to his men, walking away from me and out of the room. His men rush to my side and pull me up off the floor. They roughly throw me onto the medical chair causing my head to slam full force into the metal frame. I try to break from their grip but I’m too weak.

One of the men removes the handcuffs only to replace them with the restraints on the chair. As one man is tightening the restraints around my wrists another is tending to the restraints at my feet. I move to try and break free from their grip but they easily tie me down. Each restraint tightens around my limbs as the men pull strong on the straps and lock them in place.

“Don’t struggle it will only make it worse for you,” One of the men says as he double checks that the restraints are firmly around my hands. His voice is emotionless. He’s stating a matter of fact; he’s not trying to help.

“Why?” The one word I manage to get out as I try not to cough up all the blood that’s rising to my throat. He stays silent and looks from me back to the other men. Once they’ve checked that I can’t possibly get out of the chair, they calmly walk out of the room, shutting the doors behind them with an echoing thud before the familiar sound of silence returns.

Carefully, I move my thumb into the centre of my hand and into the position I was taught years ago. In order to get out from restraints you need to dislocate your thumb to free up some room for your hand to slide out of them. I was taught that in the academy second year, yet now I can’t even find the strength to do it.

I try to break it over and over again, each time failing like the time before. I can’t do it. My limbs are too weak. And even if I did get out of these restraints I wouldn’t get far. With the lack of energy I have left, I’d be lucky to even reach the door before my body collapsed. So I wait, I wait for my brother to return, bringing whatever horrors he has for me along with him.

_______________________

After the endless silence with just the thoughts in my head, imagining what will happen to me, I hear footsteps coming from outside of the doors. The quiet footsteps become louder and louder until the doors swing open, revealing my brother with a smug expression covering his face.

“I apologise for the delay but I assure you it’s worth the wait.” Christian slowly walks through the doors, pushing a cart of what looks like medical equipment along with him. I don’t think these are going to be used to help me, quite the opposite.

“You see, I have a little surprise for you,” He continues, moving closer to me. I lean back in the chair I’m tightly bound to, my body weak and aching. He stops at my side, releasing the cart from his grip.

I watch as his smile widens, “Oh brother, I have waited along time for -” Before he can continue, the doors swing open again. “Glad you could make it,” Christian says, turning his gaze from me to the doors, a smile still evident on his face.

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” a voice coming from the direction of the door replies. I know that voice! I slowly turn my head to face the direction of the sound, questioning who it could be. As my eyes reach the man standing in front of the doors, I stare in complete shock. Nothing could prepare me for the man I see in front of me.

My voice is so quiet only Christian hears the word that escapes my mouth, “Dad?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun Dun. It just keeps getting worse and worse for Ward. Now Ward has to deal with not only his brother, but his father as well. 
> 
> What do you think will happen next? Why is his father here and what does he want with Ward?  
> Keep updated to find out more!


	8. Chapter 8

My father’s face, the face I cowered away from for years, remains just the same as the last time I saw it years ago. His expression is firm while his daggering eyes are locked onto me. He strides towards me, the sound of his footsteps sending cold shivers down my spine, until he’s gazing over me. His body towers over mine, looking down over my helpless body that’s strapped to the chair. As he studies me, I study him. His pale face remains just as it always was, emotionless. But now in his eyes I see something, an emotion. It’s buried deep inside him but I see it, pure anger directed to the son who he despises most, me.

“Grant, I have waited a very long time for this. Did you really think you’d get away with it? All of the things you did to this family. You’re going to suffer for what you’ve done,” My father spits at me, his face edging closer to mine as he speaks, “Prepare him for what's to come Christian. I have something I need to take care of before we begin.” And with that my father leaves the room, the thud of the door echoing behind him long after he’s gone. 

Once my father leaves, I listen as Christian sets up the equipment he’s brought in: the needles, the wires, the monitors and all of the countless other stuff I don’t know. He places the knives, scissors and needles out on the top tray of the cart, examining them intently as he places them into order.

“Why? After everything. He turned you into this, Christian. But you can change. You don’t have to do this,” I say, turning my head to face my brother. I watch him as he begins setting up the monitor screen on the stand by my chair, ignoring me completely, “He’s a monster. He made you into this but you can stop, I can help you.”

I’ve given up trying to get out of these restraints. I know it’s no use. Christian stops what he’s doing for a moment and looks at me. “Do you remember this place?” He asks. I look around the room; at the damaged walls, the caged windows and the blood stains, “We’ve been here before, a few times actually, brother. This is where -” “You locked me in here,” I interrupt as the memory comes rushing back. The forgotten memory in the many childhood memories I’ve tried to bury deep down.

I look at the wall again, at the blood stained patch in front of my eyes. The walls have started to crumble but the crimson colour of the blood remains. The many patches of blood scattered along the wall in front of me, they’re all mine.

_______________________

_“Go on Grant, cut it or I’ll do it for you!” Christian screams into my face. This is not what he told me was going to be here. He said he was taking me to show me a beautiful thing he’d discovered, this abandoned building is not in anyway beautiful. I hold his knife in my hand, the knife he forced me to take when we reached this room. “Slice your hand open or I’ll do it for you,” he screams again while he watches from my side._

_My hands start to tremble as I place the knife into the centre of my hand. I look at my brother, a smile forming on his face, then back to my hand. “I can’t do it Christian. I’m sorry, I just can’t,” I scream back at him, tears forming in my eyes._

_He grabs the knife from my hand and yanks my hand towards him, “Fine, I’ll do it for you.” Before I know what to do, the sharp blade of Christian’s knife is making its way through my skin. My blood rapidly surrounds my palm as I scream out in pain. An agonising noise I never knew I could make until this very moment. The knife cuts so deep that the blood starts to drip off my hand and onto the floor. With a growing smile, Christian smashes my wounded hand into the wall in front of me, causing me to yelp in pain. “Next time you don’t do what I tell you, Grant. It will be much, much worse.”_

_______________________

“You sliced my hand open and then locked me in here. I waited all night for you to open that door and you never did. I slept on the floor, my hand aching like mad from what you did. You came back the next day and said that if I told anyone you’d make sure I’d pay for it. I remember.”

I look back to Christian, his eyes still on me. He grabs the freshly sharpened scissors from the stand and examines them as he speaks, “You think you’re better than us, Grant, you always did. But you’re not. After we’re done with you, you’ll finally realise the truth. We all have a monster inside us, even you. You’ve tried to bury yours but I can see it, and I’m going to make you see it too.”

He brings the scissors to the end of my shirt, cutting the fabric away until he reaches my collar. Once he’s sliced my shirt open he cuts either side of my sleeves, until my chest is bare. He places small, circle pads on my temple and chest, removing the back so they stick to my cold, bloody skin.

I watch him carefully. With every move Christian takes I know my end is near, a very painful end. He attaches wires to the pads on my body, locking them in place so they’re connected to the box at my side. This is it, I think to myself. The slim hope I had of getting out of here is gone. I can’t convince Christian to stop. How did I ever think I could? No matter what I say or do it won’t change him. The years he’s spent planning revenge, I can’t stop that. I can’t stop him. I can’t stop him because he enjoys it, the pain and suffering of others; he craves it.

_______________________

“So brother, I’m going to tell you just what’s going to happen to you,” Christian says calmly as he switches the monitor on, the monitor that’s monitoring my heart. His mouth curves as he looks from the monitor back to me. That smile! That awful smile on my brother’s face, the same one I’ve seen so many times on his face when we were young; the smile fuelled by his bloodlust and suffering of others.

The steady noise of my heart beating on the monitor echoes throughout the room. Christian gestures to the switch at his side as he speaks, “This switch here. Once I flick this switch, every 20 seconds it will transfer 500 volts of electricity through the wires and into your body. You will feel an excruciating amount of pain which will cause all of your muscles to spasm and just as you start to feel it calm down, just as you feel its over, it will come again.”

He moves his hands to grab the needle resting on the stand next to him. I watch as he lifts the needle up, the orange liquid inside swaying from side to side, “I’ll inject you with this, a liquid specially made by my scientists, for you brother. With this coursing through your veins and the pain you’ll be in from the spasms, it will make you see the truth. It will send you into a state where your true nature is revealed; where your demons lurk. But you already know don’t you, that darkness inside of you. You know it’s there; you try to hide from it. You’re terrified of it. You’re terrified of becoming everything you hate: our parents, me.”

“But what you don’t realise is that you’re already like us. You destroy everyone and everything you care about. That little team of yours, you would have destroyed them, you know that. You’re a time bomb just waiting to explode and destroy everything close to you. This will show you who you truly are, Grant. With this, your worst nightmares, the darkness that lurks inside of you, it will come to light and even you can’t deny it then. You’ll see yourself for the monster you truly are.”

As the needle makes its way through my skin and into the artery at my wrist, I feel the liquid slowly start to make its way up my arm. The burning sensation travels throughout my body as the liquid moves in my veins. Christian straps the needle down onto my arm with medical tape; wrapping the tape all the way around my arm so it’s securely in place and still transferring the liquid into me. Attached to the needle is a bag full of the liquid my brother says will “reveal my true nature”, enough liquid to last me a long time of suffering. It hangs by my side on a metal stand, slowly allowing drips of liquid to pass through the tube and into my bloodstream.

“Try not to fight it brother. My scientists have told me that it can be quite agonising if you fight it. I suggest you just relax,” Christian tells me. His face is completely blank as he stares down at me. Usually I can read people; it’s my job to read people, to assess risks, but my brother is a whole different story. Sometimes I feel I can read him, but now, right now as I watch his emotionless eyes scan over me, I have no idea.

I look away from Christian and up to the ceiling as my mind drifts into a happy thought; a thought of her. Hopefully, now Skye is living a happy life with her parents, living the dream she so desperately wanted to become real. I hope that for her sake they’re worth all of the trouble she went through because of them. I knew what I had to do to make her dream a reality, and I don’t regret a thing. I’d do anything for her. She will learn to let me go, she has to. And in time she will understand why I did it.

All I want is for her to be happy, and I believe that her family can make that happen. They are the void she’s needed to fill her whole life, now she can become whole. Family is a bond that can’t be broken, I know that. I’ve tried to escape mine my whole life. But you can never truly escape that what makes you who you are.

Now she can know hers. Good or bad, she will finally fill that gap. She can finally understand. I hope they’re everything she dreamed of. I truly hope that they’re more of a loving family than the Wards are. I hope they care for her, help her, cherish her. I hope they’re everything the Ward family isn’t. For us, family is and always has been a curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christian’s pressing all of Ward’s buttons; praying on what he fears the most which is hurting and disappointing the team. And with this new serum in Ward’s veins, what will happen? 
> 
> Updates may be a little slower from now on, hopefully not, but keep posted. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

As I feel my heart rate increasing, my heart suddenly pounding against my chest; Christian forces my head to look at him. His firm grip on my face causes the pain in my head to increase; the merciless ache making me want to close my eyes and fade away. My eye throbs as it fights to stay open and look at him.

“You tried to kill us, brother. You burned that house down hoping we’d burn with it. But you failed. Me, mom, dad, we all survived. Thomas and Kate, they weren’t in the house, were they? No, you made sure they were out before you torched the place. You were trying to protect them, how sweet. But the true monster they needed protection from was you. You were the one who scared them. You brother, were the one who destroyed them. You’re the real monster that ruined this family. I have had years imagining this moment, the moment you get what you deserve; the moment I get my revenge. You thought S.H.I.E.L.D could protect you, but no one can. Not anymore. You can’t hide now, brother. You’re completely alone, like you always have been and like you always will be.”

Christian’s right about one thing, I was alone. I became a specialist because I never wanted to get close to anything or anyone. Because I believed the only person I could count on was myself. But then I met the team. They changed my perspective. They changed me. They showed me what it was like to have people who care about you, truly care about you; not just for show as I had growing up. They showed me what it was like to be part of a real family. Coulson, May, Simmons, Fitz, and Skye; they’re my family. They gave me something to fight for. And I will always fight for them, until my last, dying breath.

As the minutes go by, I close my eyes and try to think of a time when I was happy. Since I’ve joined the team I’ve had many happy memories; the loneliness and solitude started to vanish when I was around them. They started to make me feel.

As Skye would have said _“Seems that the robot does have a heart after all.”_

And that’s what I was, a robot. I kept my emotions in check and I didn’t feel. I thought that if I allowed myself to feel again all I would feel was pain. But I was wrong. My family tore me down. They taught me that caring was weak; they showed me that feelings were weak. They made me into the unloving, isolated man I was. But the team, they showed me that it was okay to feel, to care. They woke up something inside of me. They made me feel, they made me care about them and I had no control over it. They gave me something to fight for, a real family to protect. And for the first time in a long time I had people who cared about me in return. But before my thoughts could continue, the sound of the doors swinging open brings me back to reality.

My father stands between the metal doors, a knife in his hand. “Where were we?” He questions, a murderous expression plastered on his face and a smile curving at his lips, as he starts to make his way towards me. His footsteps send echoing thuds throughout the room; each step becomes louder as he gets closer and closer.

The memories of my childhood come rushing back to me; the fear I felt as I heard them same steps echoing throughout the house. The fear I felt as he would make his way up the stairs after a days work, how he would charge into my room with that same expression plastered on his face day after day. His jaw would be clenched while his eyebrows were drawn in, making the vein in his forehead come out. His eyes, made of fury, would drill holes into my skull as he looked down at his weak, disappointment of a son.

That look remained on his face as he forcefully grabbed my wrists, dragged me from my room kicking and screaming, thrashing to get out of his harsh grip, as he dragged me along the landing and past the stairs, past Kate’s room, past all of the staged, smiling family photos that were hung along the wall.

When we arrived at his office and he swung the door shut behind him, my heart would sink every time, because I knew the pain was about to begin. 

_______________________

_“Dad, please. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” I beg as my dad releases my hands and pushes me down. My head smashes against the wooden floor and I yelp out in pain, but that pain is short lived as I know more is about to come. The terrifying sound of the door locking causes me to look right towards the source and at my dad. His face is covered with the only expression I’ve ever seen in regards to me, hatred._

_“Get up, now!” he screams down at me. His eyes follow me as he steps away from the door and towards me. I do as he says; I pull myself up off the ground, trying to hold back the tears. Once I’m standing on my feet I watch as my father raises his hand. The strong impact of his hand meeting my face causes my head to quickly turn to the side. I can feel the heat starting to rush to my cheek but before I can process anything, I feel his fist come in contact with my cheek again, yet this time with much more force._

_The punches keep coming: to my head, to my chest, to my ribs, to my side, again and again and again until my legs eventually give way and my aching, beaten body tumbles to the ground._

_“I can’t, Dad. I can’t stand any more, please. I’m sorry. I can’t -” I plead as the tears run down my bruised face._

_“Get up,” He insists, his face now emotionless and unreadable, “Get up now, boy!”_

_I try to move my arms to bring myself up but my muscles ache, my whole body aches. “I can’t, I can’t move, please,” I reply as I stare up at my dad._

_He slowly walks closer to me, until he’s towering over my body and then he stops. That’s when I feel it, the excruciating pain in my chest, again and again. I tilt my head to the side, my cheek feeling the cold floor beneath me, and look down to where the pain is coming from. All I can do is watch, watch as my dad’s steel hard boot slams into my chest again and again._

_“How did I raise such a weak, pathetic, worthless child like you?” My father screams while his foot slams into my side and chest. My eyes are covered in fresh tears as I try to contain a whimper. “Get up and take it like a man,” He spits, moving a few steps away from me as he watches my attempt to get up off the floor._

_Obeying his words, I put my hands flat out in front of me, resting them on the cold floor that’s beginning to become covered in my blood. I take in a deep breath and pull myself up slowly. I can’t show weakness, not again. He hates weaknesses. My body aches, my head is spinning, but I can’t show weakness. As I stand on my feet, I can feel the blood pouring out of my mouth, dipping down my chin. I can’t breathe, my ribs ache. I try to breathe, slowly in and out; looking my father in the eye as he starts to unbuckle his belt._

_Day after day this becomes a routine. I get dragged into his office. Some days I don’t even fight it; I just allow him to take me. I get beaten and shown how weak I am. He beats me until my body can’t take it anymore and I collapse to the ground. He then forces me to stand. I take off my shirt and turn around to face the wall. Then I wait._

_I wait while the tears roll down my bloody face, waiting for the force of his belt on my bare skin. As I feel the leather meet my skin, my whole body jolts. Hit after hit, the pain slowly begins to fade but the damage to my back doesn’t. Each hit carves a thick, raw line of blood along my trembling back. But as he continues, hit after hit, the lines begin to blur together and my back becomes unrecognisable. Only a distorted, bloody mess remains._

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My father stands over me, just like he used to all those years ago, but now it’s different. My once trembling body, when at the sight of my father towering over me would have cowered away, remains still, calm. The fearful child who would take the pain inflicted on him by his father is gone. He died along time ago; he died when I decided that I would become a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. He died when I became Agent Ward.

____

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Our eyes meet, father and son, and for the first time I don’t look away. “I’m not afraid of you anymore. The Grant you thought you knew, the weak child as you would say, is gone. So, dad,” I say mockingly, “Do your worst. Try and break me.” My voice is firm, as I stare into my dad’s soulless eyes. 

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His lips curve into a smile as he stares at my beaten and bloody face. While his voice, still as cold as I remember, replies, “Oh I will, Grant. But I don’t need to break you, you’re already broken.”

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Maybe he’s right, that I’m broken, damaged. I guess I always knew that. I’m not like most people, normal people, who grow up with a loving family and turn into something great. That was never in the cards for me; a happy life, with a bright future. But in a way I wouldn’t change it. Everything that’s happened, everything that I’ve been through, it’s made me into who I am today; a man who would do anything to protect his team, to protect his family, to protect her.

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It’s a small sacrifice I have to pay for the people who I know will turn into something great, no doubt. They deserve a full life of happiness and I tried everything I could to make that possible. For Skye, it’s her family that she needs and I did everything that I could to help her. Knowing that she gets to know her family makes this a piece of cake. I can deal with this, the pain that awaits me. The team are my strength, for them I can do anything.

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As Christian begins to move, my eyes follow him. He pulls out what looks like an oxygen mask from the cart he dragged in, but attached to the tubes isn’t an oxygen tank, instead its a full to the brim water barrel.

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“So, what? You’re going to drown me,” I ask, “I thought the whole plan was to use your specially-made serum thing on me. Had a change of heart? Or was this his idea?” With a sly smile Christian lifts the mask up and then carefully places it on the stand next to me, making sure everything’s in place and ready to use.

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“You remember Thomas, right Grant?”

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My eyes shoot towards him as the words leave his lips. He continues to mess with the wires of the mask as he says, “Our little, baby brother. Innocent and caring, little Thomas. He was just a child; you were supposed to protect him. But instead, you destroyed him.”

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I haven’t heard his name in years, my little brother. The thought of him conjures up all kinds of emotions. The joy I felt when I would watch him as he ran down the stairs, his little aeroplane in his hand with a smile brighter than all the stars. The fear I felt as I watched him make his way over to my father as he beat me on the living room floor, but the shake of my head caused him to stop. I couldn’t let him get hurt trying to save me. I looked him in the eye and shook my head, making him run back up the stairs. The relief I felt when the doctors told me that he would be alright after Christian had broken his arm and he was rushed into hospital.

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“No, no you were the monster. You hurt him.”

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“Me? You’re blaming me.” Christian shakes his head as his eyes wander to my dad who’s stood at the other side of me, scoffing with a murderous expression on his face. “Who was the one who pushed him down that well, Grant? Who stood by and watched him suffer? Who stood and watched as he began to drown, as he begged and begged for you to save him, as he was struggling for air? You.”

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The guilt I felt as I watched him cry out for me to save him, as his lungs were filling with the cold water of the well. The memory still haunts me. I was weak. And Thomas suffered for it. I let Christian control me. “You made me. You made me push him. I wanted to pull him up but you threatened me. I didn’t…”

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If I could go back to that moment I would change everything. I would let Christian push me down the well like he said he would. I would save my brother. I would do what I should have done all those years ago; take the pain for the people I love. “I never wanted to hurt him.” 

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“Right, because it’s always someone else’s fault, isn’t it Grant? You don’t take responsibility for what you do, for what you did. It’s never your fault.” I can feel my father’s rage growing. His free hand tightens around the side of the metal bed I’m bound to while his other hand does around the knife.

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“He was never the same after what you did. Dad thought sending you to military school would help him but it didn’t. You broke his mind. He lost his light, his innocence. You brother, you destroyed him.”

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No, he’s wrong. Thomas was stronger than that, stronger than me, stronger than Christian. I shake my head from side to side, trying to get the thoughts out of my head. I didn’t break him, it’s not true. Christian’s trying to mess with me; he wants to get inside my head.

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“You can’t reconcile all the ugly, horrible things you do with the hero you so desperately want to become. But you’re not a hero, you never were and you never will be. You’re a monster. Thomas understood that and when you burned down our house that was the final push.”

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I can feel tears forming in my eyes as I try to speak, “What?” It’s barely a whisper, the word that leaves my mouth. The final push? What’s that suppose to mean. I came back for him. I burnt the house down for him, to save him and Kate from the living hell that was our life living in that house.

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I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was at Military school when the call came through. I never got any calls, so I didn’t know what to expect. What I most certainly didn’t expect was my 11 year old sister to be sobbing her heart out down the other line.

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_“Grant, I’m scared. Christian hurt Tommy again and I don’t know what to do. His head is bleeding and he’s shaking. You’d know what to do if you were here. I can’t -” Before Kate can continue she bursts into uncontrollable tears. The sound of my sister hurt makes me want to destroy the whole world. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. They don’t deserve this, this life. There’s too much good in them; I can’t let them end up like me. They deserve so much better than this. Think Grant!_

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_“Kate, listen to me. I need you to take Thomas and go to your friends house okay, the one who lives just on the other street. When you get there tell them that Thomas fell over while you were playing outside. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going, not our parents and not Christian. I promise everything’s going to be alright. You’re the bravest, most caring person I know, okay. You can do this. Wait at their house and don’t go home. Tell them that you’re tired and they’ll let you stay there for the night. And Kate, don’t be scared. Tommy’s going to be fine. I promise you, I’ll fix this.”_

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_I hear a small sniffle from my sister as I grip the phone tighter. The wire of the phone box sways as I move closer in. “Okay, I can do this,” My sister says, her voice shaking as she tries to stop the tears falling._

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_At my side the General comes through the wooden doors and raises his hand up. 3 minutes left._

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_“Grant,” my sister’s voice causes me to look away from him and back at the box in front of me, “I miss you.”_

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_A sad smile forms on my face, “I miss you too, Kate. You know, I do love you.”_

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_Her small laugh echoes down the phone and I can hear the smile in her voice as she replies, “I love you too, big bro. Promise me you’ll be careful.” Kate’s always been the one who cares about me. She was the one who patched me up (as best she could) after my dad would beat me. Her and Thomas are the only people in the world I care about. I have to do this, for them._

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_“I will, don’t worry about me. I have to go now, but Kate…” I take a deep breath. Whatever happens next, it will change everything one way or another. I need to tell her this; I might not get another chance._

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_“Yeah?” she replies, in a quieter tone._

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_“Whatever happens next, I need you to know that no matter what anybody else says or tries to tell you, I will always love you, and Thomas. Everything I do, I do for you. I will always be your big brother. I know I’ve made some terrible mistakes and I can never forgive myself for what I’ve done, especially to Tommy. I’m going to have to live with that for the rest of my life, but I won’t let you two make the same mistakes I’ve made. There’s too much good inside of you and I won’t let our family destroy that.”_

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_“You, Kate, are the most selfless, caring person I know. You always put others before yourself and that’s why I know you’ll go on and live the best life that you deserve. You’re so smart Kate, I’ve always known that and whatever you choose to be, I know you’ll excel at it.” A smile creeps up on my face as I think of my sister’s future, a happy future._

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_“A doctor; I think I want to be a doctor,” Kate replies, determination in her voice, “I want to help people, really help them. I hate feeling powerless. And if I become a doctor then I’ll be able to help Tommy, and I’ll be able to help you.”_

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_My eyes brim with tears. This isn’t right. It shouldn’t be like this. She’s a child. At just 11 years old my sister’s dream is to be able to protect her brothers, to not feel powerless._

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_I tried to protect her from it, from all of it but she never escaped it. I failed as her big brother to protect her, to protect both of them. I have to make up for it._

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_“I love you Kate, that will never change, always remember that,” My voice is quiet as I hold back my tears._

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_“I love you too and I’ll remember, forever. Goodbye, Grant. Hopefully I’ll see you soon, right, when you get out of there?” The hope in her voice makes my heart shatter and I let a tear roll down my cheek at the words that I so desperately want to become real._

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_I know that no matter what happens next; the possibility of me returning to them is slim. For what I plan to do, at best I’ll be put on trial. And for the worst, well god-knows what might happen. But I have to do it. Their lives depend on me. What comes next will change everything._

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_I try to sound sure as I reply to her, “Hopefully.” I hear her let out a breath of relief, making me feel even more guilty for giving her the false hope of my return, “Goodbye, Kate.”_

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_Before I end the phone call I hear her reply, “Bye, Grant. We love you.” I carefully place the phone back on the stand in front of me; my hand slightly trembling. I know what I have to do now._

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_As I run out of the doors and into the fresh breeze of the outside air, I take a moment and let myself breathe. I look around me and at my surroundings. I spot a fairly old car at the opposite end of the car park and make my way towards it, trying not to bring too much attention to myself as I do._

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_Luckily for me, whoever owns this car is not the brightest of people and doesn’t know how to lock a door, making it all the more easier for me. By my side, cigarettes and a lighter lay out in the open on the passenger seat. I take the lighter in my hand and swiftly place it into my pocket. It’s time for me to go home._

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“He was afraid of you. He thought that when you burned the house down you were going to kill him for good. That’s when he knew that he couldn’t escape you anymore, so about a week later once the house was rebuilt and we were back home, he took matters into his own hands.”

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“None of us knew, until it was too late,” Christian continues. His eyes look into mine and I can see the coldness lurking inside them. The emotionless feeling he’s desperately trying to hide. He doesn’t care, but he wants my father to think he does.

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He allows a fake tear to spill over his eye and roll down his cheek. I don’t want to hear what Christian has to say. I want him to stop, I want everything to stop. But he doesn’t. My heart is fighting what my head has come to believe. I want with every atom in my body to believe that what I think isn’t true. It can’t be true. Please, it can’t be true.

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But the words come at me like a knife in the heart, “Thomas killed himself, Grant.”

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: Incase it wasn't clear on my part, the flashback at the end is leading up to Ward burning down his house.
> 
> So now you know a little bit more about Ward’s relationship with his father and siblings. I'm not sure if they ever actually addressed Ward’s relationship with his parents and sister in the show but from what I know they didn't. I completely made it up. 
> 
> Another big chapter guys. I hope you enjoyed it. More to come!


	10. Chapter 10

I shake my head from side to side until my body becomes numb and my head starts to ache. Slowly, my eyes wander from Christian to the ceiling above, filling with tears. My vision begins to blur from the water in my eyes as I stare at the blank ceiling, my thoughts running wild inside my head.

The pain from my many wounds doesn’t faze me as my mind struggles to accept what Christian has just said. Tommy killed himself.

I know full well what it’s like to think that the only way to escape our dreadful family was to end everything. I tried to do it myself. But Tommy, he didn’t do it to escape our family, no. He did it to escape me.

The fire wasn’t to scare him. It was my attempt to free him, to free them both. I told Kate that I would fix it for them. Did they get it into their heads that it was meant to hurt them? I told Kate that I loved them no matter what, but did she believe me?

Christian forces my head to his direction, his cold hand placed firmly under my chin as he spits out the words, “He’s dead and it’s all your fault.” 

“He was 11 years old. Our little, baby brother took his own life at 11, all because of you.” The tears fall down my face as I try to speak, sliding over the bruise on my cheek and over the dried blood that covers it.

“No, I did it to save him, to save him and Kate. I never intended to hurt him. I never wanted him to get hurt. It was for him, I wanted to save him.” I close my eyes tightly, shaking my head as I do. 

I know that I hurt him at the well. I let him suffer. I watched him suffer until Christian was gone and then I dropped the rope, but by then he’d already suffered from the water. I did terrible things, selfish things, that still haunt me, and they always will. But I made a promise to myself that day, that no matter what, I would never let that happen again. He’s my brother and it was my job to protect him. I failed to do that at the well. That’s why I burnt the house down; to finally put an end to the hell both he and Kate had to go through.

I couldn’t be there to protect them anymore, being trapped at military school made that impossible so I did the only thing I could think of to save them; Burn it all to the ground. I had to free them once and for all. And I failed. No, I did more than just fail.

His name echoes in my mind, _Tommy, Tommy, Tommy._ Did he really think I was trying to hurt him? 

“Do you really think I’m the monster, dad and I?” Christian questions. 

I can’t look at him, I can’t look anywhere. I close my eyes tight but that doesn’t shut out the painful truth. My brother’s dead. Tommy’s dead, because of me. The guilt, it’s overwhelming. I can’t breathe.

My brother’s dead because of me, My brother’s dead because of me, My brother’s dead because of me.

“No, the monster, that’s all you Grant. And you’re starting to see that now, aren’t you?” 

_You’ll see the truth,_ that’s what Christian had told me before all of this started. And the painful truth is that my brother killed himself, and it's all because of me.

Christian’s right, I am the guilty one. I am the monster. My intentions for burning the house down don’t matter now, because in the end I failed. I killed Thomas. 

“You deserve everything that’s coming to you, Grant. You’re starting to see the truth. We already know it. You’re the true monster here. And this serum will show you that, it will show you the truth about who you are. The mask, however,” Christian continues. I open my eyes again, tilting my head to look at him. I expect him to continue, but before he can my father continues for him. And I think I know why. This part of the plan, the mask, was his idea.

“That mask is to show you just what Thomas had to go through. That’s to show you how much he suffered at your hands, the pain he felt because of you. That’s for him. You’ll feel what he felt, the water filling your lungs, suffocating you from the inside. Not being able to scream out, to do anything but feel the water making its way through you. You’ll suffer like he did, but boy; this will be much, much worse.”

I don’t fight back or give any kind of reaction because well, I’m starting to think that maybe I deserve it.

_______________________

“I’ve read your file, brother, the S.H.I.E.L.D file that has everything on you. It wasn’t hard to find really, but you see I was looking in the wrong place the whole time. It was only when the parents of your little girlfriend pleaded for me to find their daughter that it led me straight to it, to you.”

“You see I was only using S.H.I.E.L.D`s resources to do my work, little did I know that it was the key the whole time. I found her, Skye, the fairly new recruit, which led me to that little team she’s apart of, more importantly to a member of that same team, her S.O and partner, you. Grant Douglas Ward, the Level 7 specialist. That’s where you disappeared to after Juvie, to S.H.I.E.L.D. And they really go into detail with the files, don’t they?”

Christian reaches under the cart by my side, the same cart with the electrical switch that’s connected to my body and all of the medical equipment. His hand emerges from the cart with a file filled to the brim with papers. On the back I see the symbol, S.H.I.E.L.D. The words beneath it read classified file, restricted access: level 7. Personnel: Grant Ward. He’s not only read the file, he’s most likely studied it. He has it printed, a hard copy to keep with him. My S.H.I.E.L.D file is now in the hands of Christian Ward. 

“I’ve read your file thoroughly, Grant. But the one thing that caught my eye was this,” Christian says while flicking through the pages of my file until he finds what he’s after, “The mission report of 12th November 2013, the destruction of the Overkill device. You did complete the mission and destroy the device, but no extraction team was coming to get you afterwards, to get you or your mission partner, Agent Leopold Fitz…” I tense up at his name coming from my brother’s mouth.

My arms move against the restraints before I can process what I’m doing and my brother notices my discomfort, “So, I see I’ve hit a nerve, brother.” A mistake I learnt early on in my life, never show your true emotions in front of my family. Never let your guard down. They’ll use it against you. It’s a weakness that can be exploited and used to destroy you. Christian knows too many of mine already; Tommy, Skye, and now Fitz.

“This Agent Fitz, He’s also a member of your team, correct? S.H.I.E.L.D sent an engineer with no combat skills, no real field training into a heavily secured and dangerous operation with no plan of getting him out. S.H.I.E.L.D doesn’t seem that great to work for, brother. But still, he survived. He came out with hardly any injuries whatsoever, all because of you.”

“It describes you as quite the hero, Grant. You fought them off, made them go after you so they wouldn’t go after him. You took quite the number of injuries for this kid. This Fitz was powerless out there; a scared, defenceless, little kid. Remind you of anyone? It sure reminds me. I guess your complete failure of being a brother the first time made you try so hard to save your new one.”

Now I realise that I did fail Tommy, not only that but he was afraid of me. He died because of me. I failed him. But Tommy wasn’t the reason why I wanted to save Fitz. No, the reason why I wanted to save Fitz was because of Fitz.

His caring heart, his selflessness, his faithfulness in others, in me; they’re the reasons why I protected Fitz. I tried to protect him because he’s the best man I’ve ever met. He deserved to live and I wanted nothing more than for him to get out of it alive and unharmed. That’s why I protected him, it was for him.

Christian’s right, Fitz is my brother. We may not be blood but we’re family. At first I admit I was doubtful, more than doubtful, I hated it. Having a scientist onboard with no combat skills, not only one but two scientists who had no field experience, they didn’t even pass their field training. If we were ambushed they would have had no idea how to defend themselves; it was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. But now, I can’t imagine anything different.

We’re a family and we protect each other. Fitz was the one who showed me how true that was. He had my back on our mission and we counted on each other, since then he’s always had my back, always. He showed me what it was truly like to have a brother. I won’t fail him like I did with Tommy, I can’t.

But in a way I already have. I left him. I left them all. I made him a promise and I’ve broken it. I can’t protect him from here, not like this. But was I really protecting him before or was I just dragging him down with me?

“You would have destroyed him too, just like you did with Thomas. You would have destroyed all of them. And you know that. You destroy everything you touch, Grant. And that’s why you’ll always be alone. What we’re doing is saving the world from you. Once we’re done with you, you’ll give up. And in the end, we won’t need to kill you brother, because you’ll kill yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for continuing reading. I hope you're enjoying it so far. 
> 
> Christian is really enjoying messing with Ward's head. He knows what he's doing, making Ward feel guilty about what happened to Thomas, when really it wasn't his fault at all. 
> 
> He's got his father thinking he cares about Thomas when really all he cares about is watching Ward suffer. He made his father believe it was Ward's fault that Tommy died when really it's the opposite. Tommy was afraid of Christian, not Grant. 
> 
> Keep the comments and kudos coming. I absolutely love reading what you have to say about it.


	11. Chapter 11

My father releases his grip from the side of the medical bed and holds up his newly sharpened knife, examining it as he speaks to me, “You’re going to suffer for what you did, Grant. How could I have been such a fool? I should have got rid of you sooner. You destroyed my family. You killed my boy, my son.”

In his eyes I was never apart of the family; never his son. But Tommy and Kate showed me different, to them I was family. And yet I destroyed them. The guilt I feel at just the thought of Tommy, my brother, makes me want to break down, but I can’t, not in front of them, not in front of him. He will always be my father, I can’t change that; but I will never be Malcolm Ward’s son.

I look my father dead in the eyes and watch the anger building up inside of him, thoughts filling his mind. His grip tightening around the handle of the knife, his knuckles going white. He’s like a bomb waiting to go off. And then he reaches his limit.

Rage overtakes him and his arm extents to my side in one swift motion. My abdomen goes cold; an uneasy feeling as it only feels cold in one spot. Slowly, my father takes a step back and away from me while a moan escapes from my mouth. A noise I didn’t even realise I was making until I could hear it from my own ears. The cold feeling is gone, replaced now by a burning heat that feels like my skin is on fire.

His eyes remain on mine as he raises his hand into my view. In his hand the knife, glimmering in the dim light that fills the room, drips red. The shining silver colour of the blade is gone with now a crimson substance covering it.

The burning sensation in my side fades, now all I can feel is numbness. My dazed eyes drop from looking at the knife in my fathers hand to my bare stomach. My body is beaten and bruised; it’s more purple than the fair colour that my skin should normally be. But the side of my stomach is what my eyes are glued upon.

A thick, crimson pool is quickly forming around my stomach; a pool of blood, my blood I realise, from a stab wound. A stab wound I’ve just come to realise was inflicted by my father.

But I can’t feel the pain of it, not with the adrenaline rushing though my body. All I can feel is a sort of void as I realise the blood is leaving my body. The blood isn’t gushing in a constant flow, but in time with the beating of my heart. It comes thick and strong, flowing down over my skin and onto the bed I’m bound to. The thick fluid, no warmer or cooler than my own skin, keeps oozing out of my gaping wound.

I can feel something like sharp needles, blossoming from the source and expanding throughout my body. The burning sensation has returned along with an aching pain surrounding the wound. The adrenaline has run out.

_______________________

I try to move out of the restraints, to do anything, to stop the blood flowing out of my skin, to stop the pain at my stomach. But I can’t move. I’m too weak, too hopeless.

“This is nothing compared to how you’ll feel when I’m finished with you, Grant. Thomas deserved to live, not you.” My father’s warm breath reaches my face as he leans in closer to me.

He hovers over me, examining my blood covered body and beaten face until his eyes lock onto mine. “Turn it on,” my father demands, taking a step away from me. A sinister smile forms on my brother’s face as he replies, “With pleasure.”

My body has no time to prepare for what awaits as my brother eagerly flips the switch at my side without hesitation. The electricity from the machine takes less than a second to reach my temple and chest causing more pain than I ever could have imagined coming from such a small device.

My whole body spasms and moves against the restraints, trying to escape the pain. My muscles contract while the heat from the pads at my temple and chest burn my skin with an immense amount of pain. It goes on and on. The pain never seams to dim. Electricity striking my muscles over and over again, until it stops.

“20 seconds, brother. I can imagine that for you that felt much longer. Cherish this little moment, it won’t last long. And in 3, 2, 1…”

The pain returns. Violently, my body spasms again and my muscles feel weak. My head begins to spin and my vision starts to blur. The pain increases in waves, giving a false hope of an end as it all starts to become unbearable. But an end never comes. The shocks stop just before I can feel the mercy of a release.

I allow myself to feel relief in the limited time the pain stops, but that’s short lived as the shocks return again. It’s a vicious cycle of torment, a cycle with no hope of an end. The only thing I can do is embrace the pain. After a while of fighting a losing battle my body finally gives in, allowing darkness to take me under.

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I find myself with a blinding light surrounding my vision. I turn my head from side to side, searching for anything but there’s nothing to be seen only an endless sea of white. My hands feel light as I walk forward and into the white abyss. The restraints are gone and my brother and father are nowhere to be seen. I continue walking, allowing myself to feel free and careless until I notice a figure in front of me.

Her long, brown hair falls over her shoulders and face, covering her features, while her head tilts down to the floor. I look down at her, she’s trembling and afraid. Her muffled cries begin to fill the room while I look past her and further in front of me.

More figures have appeared behind her, four people, all of them unmoving. The figures are a blur and their features are unrecognisable. As I watch them closely their features begin to come to light. Their mouths are moving but no words are coming out. The two men and two women are all staring at me while their mouths open and close. Then the sound follows, screaming.

I recognise the screams; they’re the screams of my team. The figures are recognisable now with Coulson, Fitz, Simmons and May all screaming. I look at them all; their eyes are filled with desperation and fear. And I realise that they’re screaming at me. They’re begging me to stop. They want me to stop, stop what?

Slowly, the woman in front of me moves her head up so I can see her face. Her bright, hazel eyes meet mine and for a moment my heart stops, Skye.

Her cheeks are red from the falling tears while her eyes remain bloodshot. I try to speak, to ask her what’s wrong. I want to wipe the tears off her face and destroy anything that would hurt her. I try to reassure her that I’ll fix it, no matter what it is, and that I’ll always protect her but no words come out. My mouth remains closed no matter how hard I try to speak.

“Ward, please. Please don’t do this,” Skye pleads while her tear-filled eyes stare into mine, “You don’t have to do this. Please, please Grant.”

She’s afraid of me. I want to scream, to tell her that she has no reason to be afraid. I would never hurt her, ever. Before I have time to react, my hand rises into view and I see that I’m holding a gun; a gun aimed right at Skye’s head.

The barrel rests on her forehead while the tears flow down her cheeks. She’s begging me to stop, to not hurt her but I can’t move. I don’t want to hurt her. I try to drop the gun, to speak, to scream but I can’t. It’s like I’m frozen; trapped inside my own body unable to gain control over my actions.

She closes her eyes shut while I release the safety guard off the gun. This can’t be happening. I would never hurt her. She’s everything to me, more than everything. I’d die for her, why would I hurt her?

The painful screams of the team begging me to put the gun down begin to drown out while I focus on Skye. All I can hear is her voice, “Please don’t hurt me, Grant. Please.”

I don’t want to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you I try to scream, but no words come out. The deafening sound of a gunshot rings in my ears and I watch Skye’s limb body tumble to the ground, a growing pool of blood beginning to surround her head on the floor.

The sound of my agonising scream fills the room as I stare at her lifeless body. All I feel is numb, a growing emptiness that’s suffocating me. My body is still frozen as the cries of the team grow louder and louder. The sight of the woman I love shatters my mind, and heart. And I’m the one who caused it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you it would be sad, sad, sad. 
> 
> The serum is beginning to take effect on Grant, making him live his biggest fears as if they were happening right in front of him. His walls are being broken down and he's becoming weaker and weaker. 
> 
> He can't fight the serum, not when he's lost as much blood and strength as he has now. He has to live it, thinking its real and is happening right now. 
> 
> Keep posted. Skye's POV coming up next!


	12. Chapter 12

SKYE

“Have you found anything?” I question, walking into the main control room at the hub. Fitz, Simmons, Coulson and a few of S.H.I.E.L.D`s best trackers all sit staring at their computer screens, engrossed in achieving their goal, to find Grant Ward.

Fitz looks up from his screen and faces me, swivelling his chair around to my direction. “No, not yet but we’re not giving up. He has to be somewhere.” I nod at Fitz as he turns back to face his screen, a determined look covering his face.

As I look towards Simmons, I notice she has an ear piece in and is giving directions to the agents who went out to search for him on foot, “Now take a left and continue down that path,” she says. The agents who went out all had cameras placed on them so we could monitor the whole thing from the base. May was the first one to sign up to the mission, wanting to do more than just search for him from behind a screen.

Just as I’m about to walk up to Coulson who is speaking to one of the tracker agents, I hear the sound of the entrance doors opening up behind me. As I turn to face the doors, confused of who it could be, everyone in the room looks to face the intruder as well. 

The doors open to reveal a woman whose face is covered in complete determination. She’s dressed head to toe in a black leather suit with knee high boots that contain the holders of many weapons. Her face remains blank as she places her gun into the holster around her waist and walks slowly through the doors and towards us. Her fiery, red hair sways as she confidently moves forward. Not saying a word to any of us, she scans the room. Her eyes meet mine for a moment before they wander to look at the other agents. As the woman stops walking, Coulson moves from where he was stood to stand with me so he can get a closer look.

“Romanoff?” Coulson questions in disbelief to the woman who’s just entered. I watch as they both stare at each other.

“So it's true. You’ve been hiding this whole time,” The woman says as she moves closer to us. Coulson goes to reply, an apologetic look creeping up on his face but before he can speak she interrupts him, “I don’t want to hear it, Coulson.”

A furious look slowly starts to creep onto her face as she continues, “I thought you were dead. We all thought you were dead. The team will be furious when they find out, as I was and still am.”

Coulson looks to her and says, “Natasha, please let me explain. I -” Before he can continue the woman, Natasha, interrupts him again.

“Clint knows you’re alive and he made me promise not to beat the crap out of you, but if you test my patience don’t think I won’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’m furious with you for not telling us you’re alive but right now that’s not important.”

Both of their expressions instantly change then. Natasha’s furious expression disappears as curiosity creeps onto Coulson’s face, “What’s going on?” he asks.

As I continue to study the woman in front of me, I realise who she is. The powerful energy, the confident expression, the mention of a team; there’s only one team I know who could speak to a powerful man like Coulson that way, the Avengers. She’s an Avenger. If what I think is true, this means that I’m in the same room as the only female Avenger, the Black Widow.

“I’m not here to argue. I’m here to help,” She states, looking at both of us. The determined look on her face returns as she continues, “I’m here to help you find Grant Ward.”

“What? Why are you helping us?” I ask. As I wait for an answer, Fitz and Simmons move over to where Coulson and I stand.

Natasha’s gaze moves from Coulson onto me, her eyes scanning me up and down curiously. “Who the hell are you?” She says.

“Agent Romanoff, this is Agent Skye, Fitz and Simmons.” He gestures to all of us as he speaks, showing her who we are, “This is Agent Romanoff. You may have heard of her by a different name, The Black Widow.” Natasha looks at us all as Coulson continues, “They’re all apart of my team, as well as Agent May who is out looking for Ward. Ward is a member of our team and we will do anything to get him back.”

Natasha looks to me again, yet this time she looks thankful. She nods in understanding and then lets out a small laugh while she speaks, “Who would have thought, Grant Ward working in a team.” She smiles at me and then to Fitz and Simmons.

Before I have the chance to speak, Coulson asks what’s on all of our minds. “Wait, you know Ward personally. That’s why you’re helping us?” 

Natasha looks away for moment as Coulson asks the question, as if she’s reminiscing or even ashamed and then back to us as she continues, “Yeah, it was along time ago, but well this is personal to me. I not only knew him, Grant was like a brother to me.”

_______________________

We all stand there in shock. Fitz has his mouth wide open, not even trying to hide the fact that we’ve just found out Ward knows an actual Avenger. Simmons is staring at Natasha, eyes wide.

After a moment of silence passes, Natasha takes the first move and speaks, “So, is someone going to fill me in on what's happened?”

After I explain the full story of what happened with Ward, Natasha looks at me, a serious expression now covering her face. “His brother has him? So that means his brother’s Slade? I’ve been doing some digging of my own,” she replies.

“Ward told me about his brother, Christian. He’s manipulative. Wherever he’s keeping Grant it has to mean something. I’ve met people like that before; they like to have control, to feel powerful. He will have planned everything out, thought about every little detail. He’ll be trying to mess with his head. He would have taken Grant somewhere to bring back the painful memories.”

“Grant told me once that his brother used to take him to this abandoned asylum as a kid. I think our best bet is there. I know a guy and he’s one of the best trackers I’ve ever met. He can find people without even a trace. I’ll get him to help. I’ll get ahold of him now, he’ll be able to track down the location of the asylum and we can check it out. Hopefully, Grant’s there and we can put an end to all this.”

Of course Christian would take Ward somewhere personal to them. He’s trying to hurt him and what better way to do that then to bring back the painful memories of his childhood. Why didn’t we think of that before?

She’s good. Well, she is one of the best for a reason. Coulson nods in agreement as he replies, “Romanoff, you get in contact with that man and get him to help us, Skye you go with her. FitzSimmons you get a large team of agents together and make sure they’re prepared to leave at any moment. Make sure they’re well armed, get as many Icers as you can, god knows what’s in store for us. I’ll get May.”

We all nod in agreement, ready to follow our orders but just before we all separate Coulson stops us and says with a reassuring smile on his face, “It’s time to bring Ward home.” 

_______________________

Once Natasha gets off the phone from the man who’s going to track Ward she tells me that he’s going to help us and when he does find out where the asylum is he’ll ring her. “Now we just have to wait,” she says with an irritated tone. 

She bends her knees down so she’s sitting on the wooden floor and perches her body so it’s resting against the wall behind her. We decided the best place to ring this man was somewhere quiet so we agreed on using the storage room to make the call. As I watch her leaning her head back against the wall, impatiently tapping her foot on the ground, I recognise the feeling. I calmly walk towards her and sit against the wall by her side.

After a few comfortable seconds of silence I speak up, “Look, I know that you don’t know me, but I know what you’re feeling. That feeling of being completely helpless, wanting to do more to help him, just wanting to do something, anything. But there’s nothing more we can do. You said it yourself we just have to wait.”

“I know that even though people tell you that there’s nothing more you can do, you still feel like you have to. But we can’t,” She moves her head to face me as I say, “Or at least that’s what they keep telling me. I don’t believe it yet.”

She lets out a small laugh and I smile back at her. Once she’s finished her short laugh, she says, “I think we got off on the wrong foot. I’m Natasha. I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier; the way I acted, it’s not me. I’m not like that. I’m just -” “- Worried,” I interrupt, finishing her sentence for her.

She nods in agreement. “It’s fine. We’re all on edge. Let’s just hope that your guy comes back with some good news.”

After a few minutes pass, both of us sat in silence as we wait for the call, I decide it's time to break that peace, “You know, Ward never told me he knew an actual Avenger. You’re pretty bad-ass, I mean seriously bad-ass. If I knew an avenger I’d never shut up about it,” I exclaim.

Natasha smiles to herself before she replies, “Well, Grant was never one to talk about himself or about anything, to anyone.” It’s my turn to smile now, “Yeah, that’s true.”

I think back to the moments I tried to get Ward to open up, failing almost every time. _“You don’t have to shut people out,”_ I told him. _“Yeah I do,”_ Is what he replied.

That was the first time I saw true fear and guilt on his face; when he touched the staff which showed him his darkest memory, what he believed he had to go through alone. He never had to go through it alone. He was stubborn, but honestly I think he was just afraid, afraid to let his walls down, even if it was just a little bit. It took him a long time but eventually he realised that he never had to go through anything alone ever again. He was part of a team now, always.

“Are you alright?” Natasha says as she looks carefully at me. 

Realising I was caught up in a memory, I quickly snap out of it and reply, “Yeah, I was just remembering something.” She nods before her eyes wander away to the surroundings. We both calmly rest our heads back against the wall and look towards the many boxes and files ahead of us, thinking of the man we both want to return.

“You seem to really care about him,” She says to me. Still looking away from her and at the files I reply, “I do” More than anything in the world.

_______________________

“When I met Grant, I was alone. I had nobody. And neither did he,” Natasha starts, “S.H.I.E.L.D gave us a change to become better, to be apart of something bigger. I met Grant in the first year of the academy. We were only kids back then; both of us were 15. We both preferred to be alone and didn’t like talking to any of the other cadets. For most of the first year we both stayed out of the way of the other cadets, including each other. Then someone thought they would try and show off.”

“He wanted to prove to the other cadets that he was better at fighting then some little girl. I was tough and everyone knew it. Hell, I was training to be an assassin since I could walk. Grant and I had the best combat scores out of the whole academy. As I was walking to my dorm, he came out of nowhere and he knocked me down. First mistake, never let your guard down; even in a place you think you don’t need it. He kicked me so hard that I couldn’t think straight. Before he could do anything else I heard someone come up behind him. It was Grant. He punched him so hard in the jaw that he went tumbling to the ground. Not even giving him chance to get up, Grant took me away from them. I remember kicking his ribs in as I walked past. That was the first time I saw Grant smile.”

“When we got away from them I asked him why he helped me. He said it was because I reminded him of someone. I think he said I reminded him of his sister.” Natasha pauses for a moment, trying to remember the past.

“Kate; his sister’s called Kate. He told me about her, how strong she was, how he tried to protect her,” I reply, remembering one of the few times Ward actually opened up. As he started to get to know us he became more open, not just with me but with all of the team. He never told the team about his past, mostly because he felt guilty and didn’t want them to think of him any differently. But he told me, he wanted me to know the truth about him, about his past.

Natasha nods and then continues, “He saved me. From then on we became like blood. He helped me and I helped him. Without him, I would never have become the person I am today.”

“When I was offered a chance to join the Avengers, it was Grant who helped me. He showed me that becoming apart of it would be good, not only for me but for other people as well. I could make a difference, help the people who needed help. When I was accepted, I had hardly any time to keep in contact with him. He also became a specialist at this point so we both were working constantly. We started to drift and I didn’t hear from him. I wish that I would have tried harder to keep in contact. I still feel guilty about it but I’m going to make up for it when we get him back. Without him I would never have found my team, my family.”

I turn my head to look at Natasha, her eyes still staring ahead of her until she tilts her head so our eyes meet, “I’m glad he’s found his, after everything he’s been through he deserves a family that cares about him. Your team have proven that you do.”

Before we can say anything else, the sound of Natasha’s phone ringing causes us both to jump to our feet. As she answers the phone, I watch her eagerly. She moves her hand to her face as she speaks to him, tracing her forehead. The longer she stays on the phone the more anxious I become. After what feels like forever she turns to face me and says, “He thinks he’s found the asylum. There was activity outside it not so long ago, men armed and guarding whatever is inside. That must be it. He’s found Grant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They've finally found Ward (with a little help.) The rescue mission begins !!
> 
> I couldn't help but include my favourite avenger, Natasha Romanoff aka the Black Widow. She's absolutely amazing and I can't wait for her movie to finally come out. 
> 
> Thank you for continuing and leaving kudos. It really makes my day!


	13. Chapter 13

Jumping out of the S.H.I.E.L.D van and onto the stone ground across the street from the asylum, my heart is pounding in my chest. The hope I now allow myself to feel is refreshing. Somewhere in that building is Ward and soon we’ll bring him home. Just the thought of seeing him again and hearing his voice is making me all the more eager to go in. The hope I’ve been afraid of feeling for the past couple of days since I last saw Ward is getting harder to ignore. I can feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins as I think about seeing him again.

10 days, it’s been 10 days since I last saw Ward. 10 days since I last heard his voice, saw his smile. I can’t wait to just be able to see him, to hear him, to touch him. Yet apart of me is terrified; terrified of what might still happen or what has already happened to him that we don’t know yet.

I know I can’t allow hope to overwhelm me. None of us know what awaits us in that building or what’s already happened in there. None of us know what horrors Ward has already endured at his brother’s hand. All we know for sure is that somewhere in that asylum, our robot is waiting.

My eyes wander over the building. The asylum looks like it’s been abandoned for years. The old fashioned structure of the asylum reminds me of the creepy Victorian buildings you see on TV. The crumbling brick walls are covered in moss and are barely holding together from being weathered down over so many years. Some of the windows have been smashed and the broken shards of glass rest inside the window frames. Most of the windows are boarded up with planks of wood or with thick metal bars that allow little light to shine through, almost like a prison.

The sound of footsteps coming from behind me makes me turn to face the agents and away from the building. They make their way out of the van one by one, all armed with Icers and in protective gear. 6 vans of S.H.I.E.L.D agents surround the asylum, all waiting for their orders to go in and take down the Slade members. No one is getting away. More agents are to come once we’re inside but for now each team is to explore a different part of the building. All of them looking for any Slade members to take in and also looking to find and rescue our own, Agent Grant Ward.

_______________________

Stepping out of the van, Natasha begins to discuss the plan to find Ward with Coulson and May. “I’ll take these 2 agents with me east of the building while you, Skye and May go west. The rest should stay in the centre of the building, that way we’ll cover more ground. We meet back here once we’ve found Ward.”

“Once we’re inside the asylum our comms will be down. Medics will be ready to come in, you just need to get out of the building to be able to call them through the comms. They only work outside. It looks like Christian really went all out and made sure no one could try to track him while he’s inside. When we find Ward we get him out and away from all of this. He’s our main priority; the other agents will get Slade. So, reinforcements will…”

The sound of someone jumping down off the van causes us all to look in that direction as all of the agents are already off the van and gearing up. The sight of Fitz jumping off the back of the van, attempting to put on a bulletproof vest is not what we were expecting to see.

“Fitz, what are you doing?” I question, watching as he tries to pull the straps of the vest onto his shoulders.

“What does it look like? I’m coming with you. If I could get this…” I look from Fitz back to Coulson and May. Both of them, eyes wide, are staring at him. Fitz mutters to himself as the straps fall down and the vest starts to move out of his grip.

“Not a chance, Fitz. You aren’t coming with us,” May says, her brow furrowed, “Fitz, you’ve never shot a gun in your life.”

He stops trying to adjust the vest and stares in our direction. “But this isn’t just any mission,” Fitz says raising his voice as he gets agitated at the vest. He looks at Coulson, knowing he’ll have the final say on if he comes with us, “And this isn’t just anyone. This is Ward.”

Coulson moves closer to Fitz as he says, “I know. But May’s right. If you come with us we’ll be worrying about you. We can’t save Ward while worrying about you at the same time. Yes, this is Ward. This is personal to all of us. How do you think he’d react if he found out that you put yourself in danger to try and save him?”

I know how he’d react. He’d be furious. He’d literally kill him. Ward is like Fitz and Simmons’s overprotective, older brother. He cares about them, a lot. 

“I don’t care what he says, as long as he’s safe. He can stress at me all he likes once he’s back here with us,” Fitz answers. He knows how Ward would react but he just wants him back. I can’t fault him for that.

“And we’ll make sure he does come back. Fitz, I know you care about Ward like a brother, and I promise you we will bring him home. But you have to promise me that you’ll stay here with Simmons,” Coulson tells him.

Fitz starts to fidget, rubbing his hand against his arm before he looks Coulson in the eye and in a low voice replies, “I just… I really need him to come home.”

Coulson grabs Fitz’s shoulder to comfort him, “He will, we’ll make sure of that. Okay?”

Fitz knows that staying in the van is what’s best, he’s never been a fighter and these men won’t give up without a fight. “Yeah fine, I’ll wait here,” He says with a sigh. He grabs the bulletproof vest and throws it back into the van.

Before he gets back into the van himself, I speak up, “Erm Fitz,” I say, nodding towards the vest, “It was on backwards.” He curses under his breath before jumping onto the van, making me laugh out loud before I turn to face the asylum once more. Hang in there robot, I’m coming.

_______________________

After taking down several of Christian’s men, Coulson, May and I cautiously wander further into the asylum in search for Ward. My Icer is raised as my eyes scan the corridor ahead.

This place gives me the creeps. The worn-out, white paint from the walls lies on the floor while the cold air makes its way through the cracks. Christian brought Ward here when they were just kids. He must have been terrified. I know I would be. It looks and feels haunted. The howling of the wind makes it seem haunted all the more. The wind continues to whistle around us as we walk forward. No one should be here. This place screams death and pain and it should have been destroyed long ago. Nobody needs a reminder of this place.

Ahead of us, a group of Christian’s men come into view. There are 5 men, guns in their hands. They haven’t noticed us approach them yet. They continue to talk amongst themselves as we back up behind the wall. The men stand at the end of the corridor while just to the side of us another path leads further west.

In a whisper Coulson says to us, “I say we continue west. More men are being stationed the further we go. That has to mean something. It makes sense to put more men on guard near to where Ward is. But we can’t just leave them there and continue. They could spot us and come for us. We need to stay as quiet as possible. We don’t want any loud noises to warn Christian.” We all nod in agreement.

We’ve made it this far without raising any alarms. The one good thing about not having any way to communicate through the comms in here is that neither can Christian and his men. So the men at this side of the building have no idea that they’re actually under attack.

May speaks first, “I’ll take care of these. You keep going and find him. I’ll stay and make sure no one else comes your way.” May moves so that she’s standing in front of Coulson. She tilts her head around the wall to see Christian’s men before turning back to us.

“I’ve waited long enough to beat the hell out of these morons for taking him. Find Ward and make sure his brother pays.” Oh, I plan to. Christian’s going to get what he deserves.

As May begins to sneak closer to Christian’s men, Coulson and I quickly cross to the corridor that will take us further west. It feels like we walk for hours, checking every room we walk past hoping to find Ward. We go in, sweep the room, find absolutely nothing, and then we continue down what feels like an endless corridor. Each room we go in and out then continue, in and out then continue. There’s no sign of Ward anywhere. But then I hear it.

After searching dozens of empty rooms, I finally hear Christian’s irritating voice echoing throughout the corridor. That awful sound now brings a small smirk to my face as I imagine what’s going to happen to him soon. He’s going to suffer for messing with our Ward. And I can’t wait for him to finally get what he deserves.

Coulson hears it too and straightens his posture as we walk towards the sound. We walk side by side, guns raised. Turning around the corner of the corridor, we come face to face with Christian and another man who seems to be laughing with him. Their backs are turned to us. Just imagining Christian’s smug face makes me want to punch him over and over again.

My smirk is gone. Now I’m just angry. I want him to suffer. I want it to be painful. Death is too good for him. Death is a mercy I won’t allow him. He’s not going to die not until he’s on his knees, begging me to put a bullet through his skull. He’s not getting out of this that easy. When I’m finished with him he’s going to wish he was dead.

“Drop your weapons and turn around, by order of S.H.I.E.L.D,” Coulson shouts with more authority than I’ve ever seen him use. Both of our Icers are aimed at the men before us. I raise mine to target Christian’s head.

“I was wondering if you were going to show up, Agent Coulson. I’d like to thank you for S.H.I.E.L.D by the way. Your resources have been quite brilliant to use,” Christian says, turning his body to face us.

His expression is still as cocky and arrogant as I remember, “Great to see you again Skye or should I call you Daisy now?” I want to punch that smile right off his face.

Before I can answer him back, the older man by his side turns to face us. His eyes land on me as he says, “So, this is the girl?” I notice Coulson tense up beside me as he recognises the man in front of us, studying him from head to toe. I don’t give him chance to explain his expression before I ask, “Who the hell is this, another body guard?”

He smiles again, a toothy smile, wide and open. He’s amused by the fact I don’t know the man next to him. It’s like he’s trying to torment me as he speaks, “Oh, how rude of me, let me introduce you. Skye, this is Senator Malcolm Ward, my father. Dad, this is Agent Skye, the woman Grant cares so much for. And this is Agent Coulson, the leader of their little team.”

So that’s why Christian’s amused, this is Senator Ward. Grant’s father is here. Here to watch his son suffer at the hands of his protégé, and maybe have a hand in it himself. I can’t wait to see them both rot.

I don’t show Christian any shock to the realisation of his father. I just smile back at him as I speak, “Great, I get the pleasure of seeing you both go down. You both deserve to rot in hell. You’re not getting anywhere near Grant ever again or anyone else for that matter. You aren’t getting away with this.”

A disturbing smile forms on Christian’s face as he mockingly laughs, “Oh Skye, It’s cute really that you think you’ve won. You see, the Grant Ward you lost isn’t the same one that’s in that room. He’s seen the truth now. My method has shown him that. You know Skye, he’s not the man you think he is. He’s not as tough as you all think he is. He’s weak. We’ve had to stop the process, his body couldn’t take anymore and I couldn’t have him dying on me. He’s broken. And you can’t save him, no one can.”

“Oh and his screams, I’m surprised he can still talk. He was begging us like the pathetic, little-” Before Christian can continue his body crashes to the floor with a thud, Malcolm’s following straight after.

“Sorry to interrupt your little villain monologue Christian, but I think we’ve all had enough of that,” Coulson says, putting the Icer back into its holster.

He shot them both. I stare at Christian’s unconscious body, lumped on the floor. Maybe I should shoot him again just to be sure the smug idiot stays down, along with another round for Malcolm. Maybe I should change these Icer bullets for real ones and kill them both right here and now. But no, I won’t. I know death is too good for them. They’re going to suffer long before I put them out of their misery.

Coulson starts heading towards them as he says, “I’ll tie them up. You go in. I’ll be right behind you when I’m done with these two.”

Coulson kneels beside them, reaching into his pocket for the handcuffs until he turns his head to face me. With a small smile on his face he says, “Go get him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that chapter. More is on its way.
> 
> Christian and Malcolm have finally been stopped. In the moment Skye saw them both talking to each other, without a care in the world, she knew that death was too good for them. Death would have been too merciful for what they've done. They're going to suffer for the rest of their lives, and Skye will see to that. 
> 
> Honestly, writing the next bit was my favourite part of the whole thing. I can't wait for you to read it!
> 
> Have Skye and the team been able to get to Ward before his brother and father have done too much damage? Or are they too late? Keep reading to find out!


	14. Chapter 14

Barging through the metal doors and into the room, my eyes are restless, frantically searching for him. My heart is pounding against my chest, beating and beating as my heart rate grows.

The room has a rotting, metallic smell but I ignore it. My mind is too busy scanning every inch of the room for Grant. Then I see him, bound to an examination chair ahead, and my heart aches. I look down at the floor, finally allowing myself to acknowledge the smell. A pool of rusty, dried-up blood covers the floor just ahead of me. Ward’s blood I realise. Tears begin to surface and I turn, running as quickly as I can towards him, longing for him.

I run until I’m standing right beside him. His eyes are closed shut, as mine wander over him, examining his injuries. The black eye I remember staring into days ago has faded into a slight yellow shade, while the side of his head is covered in crimson blood. The gash on his head is raw and deep, dragging from his forehead right through his hair and into his scalp. Blood trails from the gash all down the side of his face. His lower lip is sliced open, but no blood surrounds it, instead his mouth drips with water.

Wires spring from his temple and chest, all attached to the machine by his side. His pale body is completely covered in blood and bruises, so much that I almost don’t recognise him. His chest is covered in purple bruises and looking at the way it rises and falls, like he’s in immense pain, I think his ribs might be broken. I almost collapse as I notice the amount of blood at the side of his abdomen. No skin can be seen, only a raw and weeping flesh hole surrounded by nothing but layers of thick, dark blood.

Taking my teary eyes away from all the blood at Ward’s stomach, they scan the area around him until they land on a barrel of water right in front of me that I hadn’t noticed before. The plastic of the barrel is clear, revealing all the colourless liquid inside. It looks like a water dispenser bottle but this one is much bigger and instead of a hole being located at the top this one has one on the side. Attached to the hole is a long, moveable tube with what seems to be a mask at the end of it. My stomach turns sick in realisation, thinking of Ward’s mouth.

I look at his lips again. They glisten in the dim light. Water is still dripping off them as I remember when I first looked at him. The cut on his lip isn’t bleeding because it’s been cleaned by the water from the mask. They’ve been using that thing on him.

I look down at his hands; the hands that would hold mine, the hands that make me feel safe as they caress my back in an embrace, the hands that protect me from danger, the hands that make me feel loved, pinned down to the chair. My arm starts to extend for his hand, desperately wanting to hold it in mine. But I stop as my attention is caught by his wrists, more importantly the restraints at his wrists and the redness that surrounds them.

Around the restraints his skin is red raw and covered in blood. Like he’s been fighting to get out, trying to claw his way through the restraints no matter how much pain it causes him. He’s been fighting against them, trying to escape.

What the hell have they done to you?

_______________________

“Ward, Grant? Please, please wake up. Just open your eyes,” I plead. With no reaction from him, I grow uneasy. The silence is deafening.

My fingers brush along his bare arm as I try to wake him. He’s as cold as Ice. I feel his arm tense up at my touch and then his pain-filled voice follows, filling the room. “No, please don’t! I can’t. Not again, please!” he screams, flinching away from my touch. His eyes are now wild, alert. I’ve never seen him so afraid. Ward’s breathing is fast and shallow while his whole body begins trembling in uncontrollable fear.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Grant. It’s me,” I say, gently taking his hand in mine, afraid to hurt his wrists. My grip is firm around his hand as I try to ground him. Our eyes meet but he looks a million miles away, “Listen to me. You’re safe now. They aren’t going to hurt you ever again. I’m here. And I won’t let anybody hurt you. I’m right here.”

I expect him to yank his hand away in his panic, but he doesn’t. Instead I feel him relax a little. His eyes look less frantic as he comes back to reality and he lets out a breath. His hand is still in mine and I grip onto it like the world is ending.

“Skye?” he says. His voice is quiet and hoarse. I let out a sigh of relief as I nod back at him. “You’re alive?” he breathes. His eyes move up and down as he examines me, trying to come to terms with the fact that I’m here.

Why would he think I wouldn’t be alive? I tighten my grip on his hand as I reply, “It’s alright. I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere. It’s gonna be okay.”

“I told you to let me go,” he whispers as I release my hand from his and begin peeling off the pads at his chest, throwing the wires away from him and to the floor. My mind thinks back to what he said at the warehouse _“let me go.”_

“When have I ever done what I’m told?” I reply with a small smile creeping up on my face. We both know the answer to that question, not many. I carefully lean over him, afraid to touch one of his wounds as I unhook the injection from his other arm and place it onto the table beside him.

“My brother, my father -” He starts, a painful look forming on his face. Before he can say another word I interrupt him, “- are never going to hurt you again.”

I take the last of the wires from his temple and throw them out of sight as Ward begins to shake his head, “No, they were right.” His eyes meet mine as he tries to explain, “They were right about me. I’m not good. I never was. I’m a monster, Skye. I deserve this. I don’t deserve to be saved.” His eyes are filled with so much pain and sorrow as he stares at me hopelessly.

Listening to Ward describe himself as a monster makes me furious, but not at him. After everything, I was starting to believe that Ward was finally starting to see himself as we see him, a good man, someone who’s worth saving. I know that he’s never believed he was worth anything, after everything his family put him through. He told me just as much before. They made him feel worthless. And now, it’s like he’s back in that place. Once again, his despicable family have made him feel like he’s nothing.

“Now you listen to me Grant Ward. You are not a monster. You are a man who cares deeply about people even though you try to hide it, a man who tries to do the right thing no matter what, who puts others before himself no matter what the cost. You save peoples lives everyday. I don’t know what Christian and your father have told you, but I know for a fact that they’re wrong about you.”

I place my hand onto his forearm, wrapping my small fingers around it and gently holding him. I want him to feel my warmth, to feel the reassurance and understand the truth in what I’m saying to him, “I’ve told you this before and I’m going to tell you this again and again and again, until you finally believe it. You are a good man. You’re the man I believe in no matter what because I know, in my heart without a doubt, that you are good.”

His eyes begin to brim with tears as he nods slowly. I’ve never seen him look so, vulnerable. Not the way he looks right now, not even after touching the staff. The look in his eyes shows he doesn’t believe me. He still doesn’t believe that he’s good. I can see that he wants to believe it, but he can’t. I know him better than he knows himself, and I also know that look all too well. The look that’s on his face is the exact same it was after I told him he was a good man the first time. He will believe it in time; I’ll help him see it. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again, for as long as it takes. I’ll always stand with him, help him. I’ll make him see that he is worth fighting for. 

“Besides, we’re partners remember. I’m only a level 5 field agent. Despite being the best hacker they have, I need my big, tough S.O to show me the ropes. Level 7 Grant Ward is gonna help me make it big in the dangerous field world. Hell, you’ll be afraid of me stealing your spotlight at operations once we’re done. You’re stuck with me, robot, whether you like it or not.”

“And, do you know how much paper work Coulson would have to fill out to find me a new partner and S.O? A lot. He’d be livid,” I say with a smile. A laugh escapes Ward’s mouth and he relaxes a little bit more. It feels good to hear that sound again. Yet that thought is interrupted by a slight wince coming from Ward’s mouth. Despite him trying to cover it up, his chest tightens and the smile is gone. His ribs are causing him pain. I need to get him out of here.

“Okay, right. Let’s get you out of these, shall we?” I say, gesturing to the restraints around his wrists and ankles. I carefully place my hands onto the restraint closest to me at his wrist. Not wanting to irritate his wounds more with the leather strap meeting his raw skin, I slowly start to loosen it. My movements are careful and gentle as I let the strap weave its way back through. The restraint becomes loose as I hear the doors opening up behind me. I don’t even need to turn my head to see him because in a second Coulson is standing right across from me, next to the machine at Ward’s side.

A worried expression covers his face as his eyes scan over Ward, taking in every injury. His head turns to look at Ward’s then his eyes go back to looking at the restraint around his wrist opposite to me. His hands carefully begin to remove the restraint, trying not to hurt him at the same time.

I start to remove the restraints around his ankles when Coulson says, “Ward, I need you to keep your eyes open, can you hear me? Don’t close your eyes.” Ward gives a small nod to reply and even that looks to be causing him pain.

I look at Coulson and our eyes meet, speaking a thousand words. “And that’s an order, Agent Ward. We’re getting you out of here,” Coulson continues as we finish removing all the restraints that bind him to the chair.

Ward replies, his voice weak, “Yes sir,” before his eyes wander to look at the ceiling. 

I stand back next to Ward’s side as Coulson turns his attention from Ward to me. “I need you to keep him talking while I go and get back up. As soon as I get on comms with the med team, I’ll bring them straight here. May will deal with the prisoners outside.” I nod in response. The prisoners as Coulson referred to them as, are not getting out of this. Knowing May, she’ll give them hell before they even reach lockup. And S.H.I.E.L.D, well they’ll make sure they never see the light of day again.

Coulson walks out of the room and I turn my attention back to Ward, grabbing his hand in mine. “When did you last sleep?” Ward questions, his eyes looking over my face until they stop at my eyes.

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since before the warehouse, truth be told. And I can certainly feel it catching up with me now. I feel exhausted. Not just with the lack of sleep but with everything, the constant feeling of worry, the fear of what might have happened to him every waking moment since that day.

“Now is not the time to be talking about my sleeping pattern, Ward. And besides I should be the one fussing over you not the other way around,” I tell him. Trust Ward to notice my lack of sleep right now. The concern he has is never for himself.

He’s always too caught up in the needs of others that he forgets to think about himself.

_______________________

“You know, Fitz was about to storm right in here to get you back,” I tell him.

His eyes go wide. He looks at me as if he’s afraid to know the answer as he says, “Please, tell me he’s not…”

Before he gives himself a heart attack, I reply with a laugh, “Don’t worry. He’s safely waiting in the van along with Simmons. He was so determined. He was trying so hard to put that bullet proof vest on, well before Coulson stopped him. He almost did it, if only the thing wasn’t on backwards.”

He manages a laugh, a laugh that doesn’t cause his chest to tighten up. And I laugh along with him. Our laughs fill the air around us as we smile together. God how I’ve missed this, how I’ve missed him.

“We’ve all been really worried about you,” I say, drawing circles on the back of his hand with my thumb, the hand that’s interlocked with mine. “I’ve been really worried about you,” I admit.

My eyes meet his and I can’t help but look at all the blood surrounding it, the blood coming from his head. His grip on my hand grows tighter as he says, “You don’t need to worry about me, okay? I’m alright. Pain isn’t anything I haven’t dealt with before. I can handle it.” 

“You shouldn’t have to handle it, Ward,” I tell him. No one should have to go through that much pain and suffering to the point where they believe that they can handle it.

He looks at me and his eyes soften, he knows what’s on my mind. I’m not only thinking about what his family put him through, but also what S.H.I.E.L.D has put him through over the years. Hell, the first mission I went on with the team, he acted like getting shot was no big deal.

_“It’s nothing, only skin deep”_ he told me. If it had been one of us who got shot, he would not have said that it’s nothing. He’d never let us go on a mission again.

“You know, at the academy they taught us a lot of things, things that I never taught you,” He begins, “The truth is, I never wanted you to go through it. It can be tough, what they did to us. But the reason I didn’t teach you isn’t because I thought you couldn’t handle it, it’s the fact that I didn’t want you to.”

I can feel my heart beating against my chest as I listen to every word coming out of his mouth. I always knew they were things he didn’t teach me, things he wouldn’t teach me. “How to withstand torture was one lesson they taught us. They taught us through experience. And after my family, I’d already learnt how to deal with the pain, to just ignore it. I couldn’t put you through that. I couldn’t hurt you. There’s too much good inside you and I wasn’t going to let S.H.I.E.L.D destroy that. But not me, I was destroyed way before S.H.I.E.L.D. This, this I can do. I knew what I was signing up for when I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. And I understood all the danger that came with it. All you can do is try to help the people that need it, but me, I’m gonna be just fine.” 

“Like how you protected Agent Romanoff?” I ask. He helped her from those jackasses at operations when she needed it. He protected her when she couldn’t.

“You know about Nat?” He questions, a surprised expression covering his face.

“Oh my god…” I reply, a huge smile quickly forming on my face, “You call the freaking Black Widow, Nat. This is the only female avenger we’re talking about. She’s legendary at S.H.I.E.L.D and to the rest of the whole world. And you call her Nat. I can not believe you never told me about her…” 

“It never came up,” He says, with a slight shrug. I laugh half-heartedly while shaking my head at him, “That is such a Grant Ward thing to say… it never came up,” I repeat, playfully mocking his words which causes a small smile to tug at his lips, “And not only have you met her, you’re friends with her. You call her Nat for Christ sake. She’s amazing, and totally badass. She does not take anyone’s crap. And she’s saved the world, more than once.” I say with admiration.

The Avengers are literal heroes. How can people not love them? And Ward actually knows her. He really knows The Black Widow and she said that I can call her Natasha. Honestly, I’m still in shock. 

“I mean we haven’t spoken in a long time. We kept in touch for a while after she became an avenger, for about a year or 2. But then life got in the way and we both had our jobs to do. How do you know about her?” Ward asks.

“She told me. She found out what happened and came to find us at the hub. She stormed right in. Everyone was staring. She didn’t even say anything. She just walked right up to us. Coulson almost had a heart attack because Fury had just told her that he was alive. She helped us find you. Well, more like she found you. She really is amazing. She just figured it all out right there,” I say.

Ward slowly nods, already knowing just how good at her job she is, while I continue, “While we were waiting we got talking and she told me about how you saved her from some jerks at the academy and that you both became like family from then on out. She’s here you know, looking for you. Turns out we aren’t the only ones who want to get you back home,” I say, a small smile forming at my lips. He smiles back at me, it not quite reaching his eyes.

“And hey, I couldn’t just leave you here,” I say. My eyes are still locked on his as I speak, “You still owe me dinner.” That makes him laugh. “The Island Grill…” He says.

“That’s right. The Island Grill, the best restaurant in the entire world,” I begin, “We’re gonna go there and have the best night ever. Just you and me, nothing work related at all. Even if the worlds ending we’re going. Coulson will just have to deal with it.”

His laugh fills my ears again. His smile, god I’ve missed it. Just looking at it now makes me feel warm, happy. It almost makes me forget about all of the pain and suffering that’s happened. A smile forms on my face in return. It’s like his smile is contagious and in a way it is, to me anyway.

“I’m gonna order everything, and I mean everything, and I’m going to make you try all of it. No whining or complaining about how unhealthy it is or how much fat it contains, no you’re gonna have an amazing, greasy, delicious meal, Grant Ward. And it will change your life.”

“I love how excited you get over food,” Ward says, “Just like Fitz and his monkeys.” I can’t help but laugh at that, Fitz and monkeys. He loves monkeys more than he loves almost anything else. Both our laughs fill the air, short but sweet. I don’t want to make him laugh too much because I bet it still causes him pain (even though he’d never admit it) but seeing him like this, happy, makes me think that maybe it’s worth it. All I want is for him to be happy; he deserves at least that.

“You know when we get out of here remind me to beat you up for being a self-sacrificing idiot,” I say, playing with his fingers in my hand. Under different circumstances, he’d probably roll his eyes at me. A small smile forms on my lips as I look back to him. His face is so soft and warm, comforting. God, I’ve really missed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skye and Ward are reunited at last!
> 
> I loved writing this part. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.
> 
> (EDIT: I've decided to split this chapter up a little bit. I think it may have been too big and over-facing as one massive one so if you've already read the next chapter when I originally posted it here, you can just skip it. Sorry for any confusion)


	15. Chapter 15

His lips are formed in a straight line as he asks me a question he’s probably been wondering himself for sometime, “Were they worth it?”

My parents, he’s talking about my parents. If I’m being honest with myself, I’m still trying to figure that out.

Were being reunited with my parents worth Ward being tortured by his brother for days on end? No, nothing in the world is worth that. But that isn’t what he’s asking me. Even after everything he went through for them, he’s focused on me. He’s asking if they were worth what I went through because of them. He’s asking me if they were worth the lonely nights I spent dreaming of them, if they’re worth a chance to be the parents I always dreamed of. I give him the only answer I can think of, the truth.

“They told me why they gave me up. They said that it was to give me my best chance, because they had no money and wanted better for me. Once they paid off their debts and got back on their feet they said they tried looking for me but couldn’t find anything, until your brother told them he could.”

“I mean I get it, why they did it, but that doesn’t change the fact that for my whole life I had no one. That was until you found me in the back of an alley in my van. But they’re trying. And I hope they’re worth it, because I do want to give them that chance. I just, I think it will take time, for me to forgive them.”

Ward squeezes my hand in his. His hand isn’t as cold as it was when I first held it in mine moments ago. The warmth of his hand has returned, my own body heat fuelling it. It reminds me of all the times he’s held the small of my hand in his strong one, along with it the comforting feeling that always fills me. The feeling of his touch always makes me feel safe. Even now, as he can barely move I still feel like I can relax into him and all my worries and fears will disappear.

But they won’t, not now. Instead I worry for him, about what he’s been through and the suffering he’s currently in. All of the times he’s helped me, comforted me, protected me and I don’t know what to do for him now when he needs it. I don’t know what I can do to help him. As desperately as I want to, I don’t know how to stop his pain.

My eyes drift over his abdomen again, the dark shades of red coming into view as they surround his skin. My eyes brim with tears at the sight and I can’t stop them from falling down onto my cheeks.

I begin to shake my head, tears still falling down my cheeks, not wanting to really acknowledge all of the blood at his stomach. I don’t want to think about all the pain he must be feeling, not only from the injury itself but from the people who caused it.

“Hey, please don’t cry. It’s alright, Skye. Please, I hate it when you cry. It doesn’t even hurt. And we both know I’ve survived worse than this. Skye, look at me,” He says, his grip firm around my hand trying to reassure me. My teary eyes find his while he says, “I’m going to be fine, alright.”

I slowly nod at him, wiping my eyes with my free hand as the other rests in his. “Tell me something, anything,” Ward says, trying to distract me, as well as himself, from his current state.

My mind works fast, trying to think of something, anything to say. I say the first thing that comes to mind, “Daisy, my birth name, it’s Daisy. Daisy Johnson,” I tell him. A small smile forms on his lips while I continue, “I mean I like the name, I really do, but it just… it doesn’t feel right. It’s not me, not really. Daisy is the name of the girl who would have grown up with her parents, I didn’t. Daisy is what I could have been. Skye is who I am. I haven’t really spoken to them about it, but I don’t think I want to change my name, my first name. I’m Skye. I’ll always be Skye. At least I have a real surname now though.”

“Agent Skye Johnson,” he says with a smile, “I think it sounds great.” A smile begins to form on my lips, but the sight of Ward’s eyes beginning to close fills me with worry and the smile is gone.

“Ward?” I say, my free hand shooting up to rest on his shoulder. He doesn’t respond. I gently start to shake him while my other hand grips tightly onto his. His eyes open wider, but not enough. Not long after they begin shutting again. “No, don’t you dare close your eyes!” I beg.

After fighting to keep them open for as long as he can, his eyes slowly close shut. I can feel myself beginning to panic. “Ward, you stay awake do you hear me? Grant, please!”

My hands are trembling as I shake him again, “Just hold on a little longer please, Grant.” Tears stain my cheeks as all I’m greeted with is silence.

“Please,” I cry, my hand now reaching to feel his pulse behind his ear. I let out a slight breath when I feel it. It’s only faint, but it’s beating. My voice is a quiet whisper as the tears spill over, “Please, please don’t leave me.”

_______________________

After what feels like forever of pleading and sobbing for Ward to open his eyes, the doors behind me swing open. Charging through them, Coulson leads a med team of two to our direction. Both of them stand either side of a stretcher, pulling it towards us as Coulson turns in the door to tell May to get Christian and Malcolm out of here.

“I kept him talking for as long as I could,” I admit to the medics as they rush over to us. They see my eyes are red from the crying while I continue, “But he fell unconscious. I tried to wake him but nothing happened. I didn’t know what to do.”

Both of them begin examining him as they release the stretcher beside me and move closer to him. The medic at the other side of Ward starts prodding him, doing god knows what, I don’t know.

I bring my free hand up to my face, wiping the tears from my eyes. Not realising I’m still sobbing; the medic who stands at Ward’s feet turns to me, a sympathetic look covering her face, and says, “Its okay. You did the right thing, you kept him talking. I’m Emma and this is Sam. We’ve got him now.”

The increasing sound of footsteps causes my head to face the source. Two agents come running through the doors, along with Coulson, and are heading toward us.

“We’re going to have to move him onto the stretcher now,” Emma states, as the agents come to a stop. Coulson stands by Emma, his eyes glued on Ward. Emma looks to me, her expression softening, “You’re going to have to let go of his hand,” she tells me.

My eyes look to Ward’s face then back to her. Noticing my discomfort she assures, “Only for a minute, just as we get him onto the stretcher.”

I don’t want to let him go, not ever. I want to keep him as close as possible so that nothing bad will happen to him ever again. But I can’t, not until he’s out of here and safe. I nod, slowly removing his fingers from mine. My hand goes cold as his hand leaves mine, and I ache for it to return.

Allowing the agents to lift Ward, I take a few steps away from the chair, giving them the space. My eyes are glued on Ward as Coulson and one of the agents go to either of his arms while the other agent remains at his feet.

They begin to lift him, his body limp and badly broken. As they gently place him down onto the stretcher, the medics waste no time rushing to his aid.

“Okay, Grant. My name’s Emma. I’m a medic and this is my partner, Sam. We’re going to take care of you,” Emma begins, speaking to Ward while she checks him over. His eyes are closed shut but she continues, “You’re safe now. Everything’s going to be okay, Grant. We’re here to help.”

I retake Ward’s hand in mine as we rush out of the room. His hand feels fragile in mine, much weaker than when it was resting against the arm of the medical chair.

At either side of the stretcher, we all cling to the metal railings which surround it while pushing it forward and down the corridor. Coulson leads the way out, walking by the side of the stretcher and just ahead of Emma. His hands are wrapped around his Icer as a precaution. Emma holds the stretcher at the opposite side to me while she talks to Sam, who is walking just ahead of me, “Blood pressure 60 Hg. His pulse is weak. We’re going to need to attach him to an IV in the van. Blunt trauma to the head and abdomen, broken ribs…”

As Emma and Sam continue to speak in medical jargon to each other while we move, Ward’s hand moves in mine. His eyes remain closed as he twitches again, but this time his whole body jerks.

Both Emma and Sam are cautiously watching him as I am, now stopping their conversation. They know more about his current state than me but from what I can see, it looks like he’s halfway between being conscious and not. As he starts muttering, my hand tightens around his.

“Grant, it’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here. No one can hurt you now,” I tell him. Coulson turns to face Ward at the sound of my voice and away from the corridor ahead. Ward doesn’t stop muttering as Coulson places his gun back into its holster and rests his own hands on the railing of the stretcher at Ward’s feet.

“Grant?” It’s like he can’t even hear me, trapped in a world of his own. His voice becomes louder and clearer as he stops twitching, allowing me to hear what he’s saying.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never wanted -” He begins, his voice breaking as he continues, “It should have been me. I wish it was me. You should have just let me die.”

My eyes shift to Ward’s face as they become glazed with a layer of tears. Why would he say that? That he should have died. How can he just wish that he’d have died? God, what happened? I try to sooth him, whispering in his ear that everything’s going to be okay as questions begin to surface.

The numerous questions I’ve conjured up, the ones that are buzzing inside of my head, trying to come up with the answers myself, silence as the next words come from Ward’s mouth, so broken and desperate.

“I’m so sorry, Tommy,” He whimpers, and my heart shatters once more. More questions fill my head as Coulson jolts his head to face Ward, his brow furrowed. Thomas Ward, Grant’s younger brother. He must mean him. But if he’s wishing he would have died instead that means, that means his brother died. That would mean Thomas Ward is dead.

“Please, kill me. Just kill me, please. Just let me die instead, please!” Ward begs, his hand trembling in mine.

I squeeze onto his hand tight, unsure of what else I can do. Words don’t seem to be reaching him and I fear if I do speak I’ll burst into sobs. He begs and begs as we continue down the asylum corridors, pleading for his brother to live and for his death.

I feel helpless, watching the strongest man I know break down, knowing there’s nothing I can do. My tear-filled eyes find Coulson’s as Ward slowly begins to drift back into unconsciousness, his words dying on his tongue.

Coulson’s eyes move from looking at Ward’s sleep-like form to me. His glassy eyes stare into mine and I realise that he’s just as defeated as I am. Our hearts are both broken, seeing what’s happened and is happening to the man we care so much about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally part of chapter 14. I just thought that that chapter was way too big so I split it up into 2 different ones.
> 
> Skye and Coulson are beginning to see what his brother and father have done to him. They're beginning to see the lasting effects and the damage they've caused to Ward and how it goes beyond just his physical state, they've affected him mentally as well.
> 
> New chapter is coming soon!


	16. Chapter 16

As we step out of the doors of the asylum, the ground is swarming with S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Helicopters surround the asylum as do S.H.I.E.L.D vehicles, blocking any Slade members from trying to flee. No one is getting out.

Agents are cuffing Slade members and placing them into the transport vehicles as we move closer to the van where Fitzsimmons wait. I tilt my head to face Ward’s and see that his eyes are now opening. He begins to struggle, trying to get out of my hand as his eyes adjust.

“Hey, Ward. It’s okay. It’s me,” I reassure. He slowly starts to calm down as our eyes meet. Realising it’s me and that his brother and father aren’t here, he begins to relax. His hand tightens around mine and I give him a reassuring squeeze as I say, “Its okay. We’re getting out of here.”

“Coulson, Skye!” Despite all of the noise and chaos, I clearly hear the shout of my name. My head jolts up at the sound and I notice Natasha jumping down off one of the transport vehicles. She places the Icer Fitz gave her into the holster around her waist as she makes her way towards us.

Moving past all of the agents, her eyes find mine for a moment until they drift down to the stretcher. At the sight of Ward she starts running faster, moving between the agents until she reaches us. Emma lets go of the stretcher and rushes ahead to the van, allowing Natasha to take a hold of it in her place.

“Grant?” She says. Her voice is soft unlike the other times I’ve heard her speak, all business, no nonsense. Now she isn’t Agent Romanoff, she’s just a woman looking down at her beaten and helpless friend who she hasn’t seen for years.

Ward moves his head to her direction, examining her as he replies, “Nat.”

I think I see tears forming in her eyes as she nods. A smile forms on her face as she says, “Yeah, I’m here.”

As we continue towards the van, Natasha and Coulson at the opposite side of the stretcher to Sam and I, Ward continues to study Natasha. Probably looking to see how much she’s changed since the last time they saw each other. The memory he has of his friend is much younger and I’m guessing that he’s not the only one who’s changed over the years, both physically and mentally. 

“You changed your hair,” Ward states, his eyes still on Natasha.

She lets out a small laugh and smiles, “It’s been 10 years and that’s the first thing you say to me. I’ve changed my hair. Never have been a people person have you, Grant. Well, you look …old.”

Ward manages a laugh before replying, “Wow, come on Nat. We’re the same age. You can do better than that. What happened to your wit?”

Natasha smiles at him, most likely thinking back to her academy days with Ward. I always heard that she was a complete badass even back then, sassy and didn’t take any ones crap. And I know, just from spending this past day with her, that that’s completely true.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ve still got it,” Natasha replies. Her smile fades as she continues, her eye scanning Ward’s blood covered body, “It just wouldn’t be fair to beat the man when he’s already down.”

The smile slowly fades from Ward’s face as he assures, “I’m fine.”

Without hesitation or even a hint of worry on her face, she replies, “I know.”

Ward doesn’t like to feel like he’s being babied. She knows that, we all know that. She knows what he needs right now and what to keep to herself. He doesn’t need anymore worried eyes looking upon him, even though she is worried. The team and I are going to be giving him enough worried looks to last him a lifetime.

“Anyway, shouldn’t you be out saving the world?” Ward asks Natasha as we reach the van. Coming to a stop, the back doors of the van swing open revealing Emma who has been preparing all of the medical equipment for Ward’s arrival.

We begin turning the stretcher around, making it so that Ward goes in head first while Natasha replies, “The world can wait. This time, it’s my turn to save your ass.”

Ward gives out a small laugh as Emma reaches her hands out to help pull the head of the stretcher onto the van while we all help lift it up.

_______________________

We all climb onto the van, steadily pushing the stretcher into its place. My eyes don’t leave Ward as the others all let go of the stretcher, ready to do what they need to do. I hear the van doors close behind me while Natasha instructs the driver to head back to the hub immediately, her voice commanding and strong.

Looking over Ward’s features, his eyes have now closed. I squeeze his hand as Emma and Sam begin hooking him to countless machines and monitors. I squeeze tight, reminding him that he’s not alone, that these are to help him unlike the machines Christian had attached to him. He squeezes my hand back while the sound of rumbling becomes louder from behind me.

To my side Fitz comes rushing into view and stands by Ward’s head, his eyes wide and searching. He looks over Ward’s bare, bloody chest as Simmons comes from behind me and goes to my other side by Ward’s feet, also looking at his current form.

“Ward?” Fitz says. It comes out as barely a whisper, desperate and afraid. He grabs a hold of the stretcher, trying to steady himself. Ward’s eyes open at the sound, landing on Simmons first who lets out a sigh of relief. 

As he turns his head to face Fitz, their eyes meet. Fitz’s face lights up with a wide smile. “Thank god,” He breathes.

Ward smiles back at him in return. “I’m alright,” He tells them and Fitz nods. Ward’s eyes drift back to Simmons. She stands still, her eyes glued on his dark blood covered abdomen. “Simmons,” Ward says, making her eyes shoot up to face him, “I’m fine.”

Simmons slowly nods, giving a small smile for Ward’s sake more than her own. She wipes her forehead as she begins to speak to Emma, “I can help you. I’m not an expert but I know a few things. Let me help.”

As Emma grabs Simmons a pair of gloves and starts asking her to do things that I can’t understand, Ward turns to face Fitz again. Fitz’s eyes are still glued on Ward, afraid that if he looks away he’ll vanish and he’ll lose him again. I know the feeling.

“I heard what you did, trying to come get me,” Ward tells him. Fitz looks away for a moment before returning his gaze, knowing Ward and his protectiveness.

“Before you start, Ward. I know -” “- I wanted to thank you,” Ward interrupts before he can say another word.

Not expecting that response, we all look to Ward in shock. Fitz goes to speak, opening his mouth to respond before shutting it again, at a loss for words.

“It was brave, and I appreciate you offering to come and get me,” Ward says with a smile. The smile fades as he continues, “But if you ever do that again. I’ll make sure you never leave the lab ever again.” And, there it is.

Fitz stares at him, already prepared for this response. “We made a promise to each other, Ward. We protect each other, no matter what,” He states, his eyes fixed upon Ward’s.

“Not when there are risks to yourself. You aren’t a fighter, Fitz. You don’t go into a gun fight without knowing how to shoot. You don’t put yourself in danger for me,” Ward tells him.

“You’d do it for me! You did do it for me,” Fitz says, his fingers anxiously tapping the metal of the stretcher as he thinks back to their mission.

Looking at Fitz’s pained expression now, I finally understand. I never realised before, but now I do. I felt the same way. I had that guilt ridden look all over my face for days after Ward had been taken by his brother. He blames himself for what happened to Ward on that mission. He blames himself for Ward getting hurt. I always thought it was just worry, after their mission and when he told us about it, but seeing him now. I realise it's both worry and blame.

Ward’s expression softens. He knows we worry about him, specialist or not he’s not invincible. But what he doesn’t see is how when he gets hurt protecting us, it’s not a mercy or any kind of relief. He doesn’t seem to understand that his life matters as well. And even now, he can’t see that Fitz blames himself for him getting hurt trying to protect him.

“Fitz, what happened on that mission … I’m trained for that. It’s my job,” Ward states, his voice unwavering.

“What, to get yourself hurt?” Fitz retorts. The image of Ward, beaten and bloody, being dragged up the ramp of the bus will forever be embedded in my brain, just as watching it occur will be embedded in Fitz’s.

“To protect people. That’s my job,” Ward corrects.

“What about you, who protects you?” Fitz asks. On missions it’s always Fitz and Simmons who are left on the bus, watching as we go out and risk our lives, day after day. They’re the ones who are left worrying if we’ll ever come back.

“Trained people, Fitz. People with real field experience.” A smile tugs at Ward’s lips as he continues, “People who can actually put on a bullet proof vest.”

“Really Skye, You told him,” Fitz says turning to me. “I almost had it,” He says in his defence. I give a small smile, looking from Fitz back to Ward.

“Fitz,” Ward begins again, as he becomes more serious.

Fitz stops him before he can say another word, “Look Ward, no matter what, I’ll always come for you. I promised you I’ll always have your back and I do.” Ward looks like he’s about to argue but I stop him. I squeeze his hand as his mouth goes to speak, letting him know just to drop it. His eyes find mine and he understands what I’m trying to tell him, before looking back to Fitz.

Ward will always want Fitz to be safe and Fitz will always want to protect Ward, no matter how much they try to convince the other against it. “I know you have my back Fitz, just like I have yours. And I meant it when I said thank you.”

Fitz begins to smile as he carefully places his hand onto Ward’s shoulder, possibly the only part of his body that’s not covered in blood. Fitz’s smile, the smile that seems to have been missing for so long is back, returning with Ward. 

Ever since Ward handed himself over to Slade something changed within Fitz. With Ward gone, he was worried sick, constantly searching for him. And as the days went on, Fitz became more and more distant, concentrating solely on finding Ward. It’s not like I wasn’t doing the same, it's just coming from Fitz it seemed so strange. It’s like Ward being gone woke up this protective instinct inside of him and nothing else mattered but finding him.

And now, as I watch Fitz cautiously staring at Ward’s beaten form, examining him again and again, I realise the extent of his worry. He’s absolutely petrified of losing him, of losing his brother.

Ward puts himself through hell so that others don’t have to, he always has. He agitated the men on the overkill mission so that they’d go after him and not Fitz. He traded his life, willingly handed himself over to his brother, to save my parents, so I could be with them.

And what hurts the most is that he doesn’t even realise that what happens to him, seeing him put through hell, beaten and broken, affects us. And it’s more than just worry, its guilt. The guilt of knowing and seeing what he puts himself through, seeing all of the pain he endures for us, breaks us. But now is not the time to bring that up, as much as Fitz and I both want to. Now, we’re just relieved that he’s back with us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The team is reunited!  
> (Well, apart from May who is busy giving Christian and Malcolm a whole load of hell) 
> 
> I really miss Fitz and Ward’s bromance. I absolutely loved it in season 1. I loved the way they both looked out for each other, and just all of it. I really thought of their relationship as brothers. And then they decided to ruin it. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you're all still enjoying this.


	17. Chapter 17

“Damn it!” Simmons mutters, standing at the opposite side of Ward’s head. Her attention is fixated upon the injection in her hands; attached to it an IV drip hangs. Her hands begin to tremble as she tries to inject into the IV bag. Looking from the needle back to the bag, she tightens her grip around the injection, desperately trying to steady her fingers.

Ward slowly turns his head to face her; his exhaustion finally catching up with him. His movements are slow, so foreign from the calculated, specialist movements he usually acquires. His eyes land on Simmons, trying to read her expression, until they move down to look at her shaking hands. All of the pieces fit into place in Ward’s mind as he continues to watch her attempt to inject the bag, she’s afraid.

“Simmons,” Ward breathes. His voice barely a whisper. He attempts to get her attention but her eyes remain trained on the injection, her expression completely focused. “Simmons,” He tries again, attempting to make his voice louder but it still remains weak. It’s nothing like the voice we remember, always so strong and unwavering.

Her head jolts to the side as she finally becomes aware of Ward’s voice calling her name. Her eyes are glazed with a layer of tears as she looks down at Ward.

Simmons has seen him injured many times. She’s been the medic that heals his wounds after a mission gone wrong. She’s seen him beaten, shot, stabbed, but nothing, none of that compares to the sight in front of her.

“Simmons, it’s alright,” He assures.

“No, no it’s not Ward. I can’t…” Simmons begins shaking her head, her hands still trembling as her attention returns back to the needle, “I can’t.”

She takes a deep breath while her eyes stay glued to the injection, her tears about to fall. She attempts to inject the bag again, but she can’t. Her hands won’t allow it. They continue trembling, the needle along with them which only makes her more frustrated. 

She never freezes up, never falters. She does her newly-found job of doctor almost effortlessly every single time, after every single mission. On the bus, she’s the only one capable of treating the wounded. If she freezes, if she panics, if she lets her emotions cloud her actions, people can die. She knows that, which is why this is so hard for her. She’s so used to all of the pressure and responsibility of being the only one who can save us that she feels that she needs to do this. And now, as her hands continue trembling, stopping her from doing what she needs to do, she grows more and more agitated at herself. 

But the truth is she’s a scientist not a doctor. She takes on being the healer of the team because we’re a family and because she’s the only one who can. And now all she sees is her team mate, injured and broken, led helplessly on a stretcher covered in heaps of his own blood and she feels it’s her responsibility to help him. But this time, this time it’s different.

This isn’t just a bullet wound she can stitch up, or a cut she can disinfect. This is Ward, a man who never wants help, who remains unfazed no matter what happens to him, unable to move and barely able to speak. This is more pain and suffering than she’s ever dealt with or even seen. And it’s happening to the strongest man she knows. The man who refuses help no matter what state he’s in. And now, he’s too weak to even attempt to refuse.

He’s the protector of all of us, the one who scares away our worries, who reassures us when we need it. He’s always been the one we depend on. And now, now he’s in an unbearable amount of pain. We can all see it, despite how much he’s trying to assure us otherwise. He’s still trying to reassure us that everything’s fine, that he’s fine; when we can clearly see that he’s not.

“Yes you can. You’ve fixed me up a thousand times before,” Ward tells her. 

Her attention remains on the needle in her hands, unable to look at Ward as her tears are threatening to spill over. She doesn’t want him to worry about her because we all know what he’s like. If he sees Simmons’s hazy eyes he’ll try to help her, when she wants to be the one who’s helping him, not the other way around. 

But the other reason why she doesn’t want to look at him is that she can’t bare to see his beaten and bloody form. None of us have ever seen him look like this; not this exhausted, not this beaten and definitely not this broken. 

_______________________

“Simmons, I’m alright.” She turns to face him, her eyes red while tears fall down her cheeks. “I’m alright,” He breathes again. His voice is so soothing she almost believes it.

Her eyes remain glued on him as his eyelids start to droop. He’s been fighting his exhaustion for so long, days spent in his brother and father’s hand, and now it’s finally caught up with him. His eyes are fighting to stay open but after fighting for so long they finally give out.

Simmons uses this to take a deep breath and return her attention back to the needle, while quickly using a hand to wipe her tears.

Her hands finally start to steady, allowing her to inject into the bag and secure the tube to connect the IV drip. Once the tube is secure in the IV bag and the liquid is free to move, it slowly makes its way down and into the injection at the opposite end, the end that Simmons is currently injecting into Ward’s inner elbow.

As Ward falls deeper into his well needed sleep, the only real sleep he’s had in days, his grip around my hand starts to loosen. My fingers remain intertwined in his as I watch his chest steadily rise and fall. The calm movement of his chest relaxes us all, as does the peaceful sound of his breathing. Our gazes all remain glued to Ward as Emma and Sam begin attending to his major injuries.

Silence surrounds us as we watch. No one says a word as Emma cleans the dark patches of blood around Ward’s abdomen or as Sam wipes the dried blood off Ward’s head. We all just watch.

_______________________

The ride back to the hub is painfully slow, and with Ward still fast asleep, none of us have said a word, too afraid to wake him. We let Emma and Sam address his injuries in silence. They’ve attached countless wires and tubes to him, springing every which way. Some of the wires are monitoring his heart and the steady beeping of the monitor fills the van.

They’re just like the ones I found him attached to in the asylum and my mind instantly goes sick at the thought of that place and everything that’s happened there, including all of the things that happened there that I still don’t know.

He still looks so pale as they begin covering his raw wrists with some kind of ointment. All of us cautiously watching from the side, without a word. But when Emma brings forth an oxygen mask, my heart skips a beat and I break the silence.

“No, you can’t put that on him. He can’t have that,” I tell her, my mind thinking back to when I found him; the water barrel by his side, the damp mask resting on top, his lips dripping wet. With the wires I held my tongue, but I can’t with this. He can’t wear the mask, not right now at least. 

“This will help keep his breathing steady. It’s completely safe and won’t -” Emma tries to assure me, but my concern isn’t its safety, my concern is if he wakes up with it on.

“I know it’s safe, but he can’t. They, they used something like that on him.” All eyes move from Ward to me at the statement.

Coulson’s the one who speaks up first, fear creeping up on him as he asks, “Skye, what do you mean they used it on him?”

Fitz and Simmons look petrified as I open my mouth to reply, both watching me intently. Fitz is still by Ward’s head, his hands firmly resting on the metal of the stretcher while Simmons has now taken to sit away from Ward and near to Coulson and Natasha, giving the medics room to operate. 

I close my mouth, unable to form the words and Coulson’s eyes soften as he notices. I take a breath and allow the words to leave my mouth, “I think they, I think they used it to try and suffocate him.”

All of their faces turn into anger, disgust and sadness as they try to process the words. Natasha looks like she could kill them both for what they’ve done to Ward, and if they were here on this van I wouldn’t put it past her.

Simmons lets out painful sound, a sob she attempts to hide, as she wipes her falling tears.

Coulson’s sadness and anger are both present on his face, his jaw is tense while his eyes look lost. He wants to make the men who did this to him suffer, to make them pay for the damage they’ve caused to his agent and friend.

But most importantly, he wants to comfort the man he’s grown to care about so much, the man he respects and values. He wants to take away all of Ward’s pain, but he can’t. He can’t take away Ward’s pain, as much as he wants to, not the physical or the emotional pain he must be feeling.

And even if he was awake, what could he say to comfort the specialist who refuses any kind of help? How can he comfort a man who doesn’t want, or truthfully know, how to be comforted? He can’t even begin to phantom what he could say to him. All of Coulson's emotions are mixed inside of him; his anger, his sadness but also the newly formed guilt that’s brewing in his chest.

To my side, Fitz’s grip tightens around the bars of the stretcher while his glassy eyes drift to his friend, beaten and covered in wires. All of the teams’ eyes soon follow his, looking down to Ward, who’s still in a deep slumber.

Now, he looks peaceful, oblivious to the world around him. It’s a small moment of peace, the only moment he’s managed to have in days with the fear of what could happen when he did close his eyes in his brother and father’s hand, and no one wants his peaceful moment to be disturbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was mainly interactions between Simmons and Ward. I loved their relationship in season one. I loved all of Ward’s relationships with the team in season one, to be fair. Wish we could go back to that time.
> 
> The rest of the team are beginning to learn about what happened to Ward in the asylum. And lets just say that their emotions are mixed between complete anger and utter sadness. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! More on its way. Let me know what you think so far.


	18. Chapter 18

Emma places the mask back down so it’s away from Ward and reverts her attention to addressing his injures while I continue trying to explain what I saw to the team.

“When I found him his lips were dripping wet and there was this barrel at the side of him, filled with water and it had a mask attached to it just like that one,” I say, gesturing to the oxygen mask that Emma set down, “If he wakes up with that mask on as well as all of these wires, it’s just like when I found him. He might think he’s back there, and that Christian and his dad are doing it to him all over again.”

All of us are in complete agreement and understanding, Ward can not wear the mask while he’s still able to wake up. If he wakes up exactly like how he was in the asylum, it could cause him to panic and none of us want to put him through anymore than what he’s already been through.

Ward always tries to assure everyone that he’s unbreakable but the truth is he’s human, and no one is unbreakable. Not even him.

“He’s been through so much. He’s been tortured for days by his own family, beaten and tormented by his brother. He’s been suffocated over and over again by the man who was supposed to raise him. And god knows what that serum was doing to him on top of all that,” I say.

My heart aches for him. How can anyone put another person through all of that, let alone a member of their family? How can someone be so cruel to a man who’s only ever tried to do good?

When I found him at the warehouse, the bag that was filled with the serum was almost empty. The drip had allowed the serum to be passed slowly through the tube and into the vein at his wrist so the contents of the bag had already been passing through his veins way before we arrived. On the cart that Christian had set up beside Ward, full of medical utensils and equipment, they were countless, used drip bags. At least 4 bags were on the cart, which means that at least 5 bags of this serum had been injected into Ward and was doing god-knows what to him.

“He can’t wake up with the mask on, he just can’t,” I say, my eyes dropping to look at Ward’s sleeping form.

“We can’t sedate him, not until we get the results from his blood test,” Emma states, looking to Sam who is nodding in agreement, “This serum is completely unknown to us. We don’t know the components of it and how they’d react to the sedative if we used one.”

The serum that’s running through Ward’s veins is completely unknown and according to Sam there is no record of it anywhere.

She begins talking about the other serums S.H.I.E.L.D has encountered and that none of them are even remotely similar to this one, “We have no way of knowing what it could be doing to him, physically or mentally. So far the serum isn’t having any physical effects on him, but we’re still only at the early stages…”

Sam’s voice seems distant as I begin thinking of what Ward must be going through, what the serum could be doing to him. At the asylum he was so sure his younger brother was there with him as we were leaving. If that was due to the serum or Ward’s lack of, well everything, I have no idea.

My mind is creating theories and trying to understand, needing to understand, but how can I possibly begin to know what the serum is doing to him when the trained, medical paramedics don’t.

Right now, the only people who truly know what the serum is doing to Ward, is Ward and his tormentors. 

“How long is it until the results come back?” Coulson asks which snaps me out of my thoughts.

“The results won’t be fully complete but we’ll know what the serum contains and what sedatives we can and can’t use in 20 minutes,” Sam replies.

She places the gauze pad that she’s been using to clean the dried blood off Ward’s head beside her and replaces it with a fresh one as Coulson asks, “Can he keep the mask off until we get those results, until he can be properly sedated, or does he need it on now?”

After a moments silence, while Sam takes into consideration Coulson's question, she tells us, “I think that should be alright. His breathing pattern is quite regular and he isn’t in need of any extra oxygen.”

She looks towards her partner as I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “We can wait for the results,” Emma confirms.

“When he can be sedated the mask goes on,” Coulson says, turning to face me and I nod in return. Ward has to wear the mask when he can be sedated. It’s to help him, I know that, but he might not. At least when he’s sedated he won’t know that it’s on him.

Coulson turns his attention back to Emma and Sam as he says, “If you feel he needs the mask on, he wears it. You’re the experts, not us. We don’t want to panic him, but we do want him to get better. And if he needs that on to do so, then it goes on, sedative or not.”

Both Emma and Sam nod in response before returning their full attention back to Ward.

None of us want Ward to have to wear that mask while he’s still able to wake up but if he does truly need it, I know it has to go on, we all do. I just can’t stand the thought of him being put through anything else, and from the faces of everyone else here, they don’t either. But if he needs it, he has to wear it. We can only hope that it won’t come to that. 

_______________________

As the minutes pass by, each of us grow more exhausted. Simmons sits by Ward’s feet, perched upon one of the fold up chairs hanging from the back of the van doors. Her hands are folded together in her lap as her shoulders remain slouched. Her eyes are staring into the floor, away from her injured friend. Every now and then she allows them to close for a moments rest before they spring back open and continue to study the floor at her feet.

Occupying the seats either side of her are Natasha and Coulson. Unlike Simmons their eyes are glued to Ward, silently observing him from the back of the van. Despite their own growing exhaustion, they keep their eyes on him at all times. Their protective, leader instinct is taking charge and they won’t allow themselves to rest until he’s back at the hub, surrounded by S.H.I.E.L.D doctors. Even then they’ll most likely not give themselves a break.

They want to be prepared for whatever might come next. This nightmare won’t just disappear when we get him back home, and they know that.

The monitor beeping in a steady rhythm to Ward’s beating heart is the only thing that can be heard in the van; that is until Fitz begins to doze off.

Both Fitz and I sit on the long stool that Fitz moved right next to Ward’s stretcher. He still remains by Ward’s head; sat with his own head resting back against the side wall of the van.

His eyes are closed shut while he begins heavily breathing in and out of his mouth. His breathing slowly gets louder but not in an irritating way, in an almost calming way. I know for a fact that, like me, he hasn’t slept properly since Slade took Ward, so hearing him fall into a nap doesn’t irritate me at all. 

My eyes drift from Fitz back to a sleeping Ward. Emma and Sam are finishing up addressing his major injuries, the gash on his head and the wound at his abdomen, while he continues to rest. They’ve just finished placing a thick layer of some kind of gel on his wounds which Emma said will reduce infection and are now attaching a second bag of nutrients to Ward’s IV drip. They’ve also told us that, from what it looks like, Ward has only been getting enough water, food and nutrients to keep him alive, so the IV drip is helping him drastically improve.

If I wasn’t so worn out and sad, I’d be absolutely furious. Deep down I can feel it, the overwhelming rage and anger towards Christian and Malcolm, which only seems to grow as I learn more about what they’ve done. But they don’t deserve any of my thoughts, all of my focus and attention is on the man I see in front of me. He needs me right now.

_______________________

My elbows rest on the barrier of the stretcher while Ward’s hand lays in mine, cupped in between both of my small hands.

He’s not as cold as he was when we found him, but he’s still not at the temperature he should be. The warmth of the van is helping to bring the colour back to his skin as is my body heat, but after spending days and days in the cold, bitterness of the asylum, his body is taking its time to adjust.

I stare down at him, at his beaten and bruised face as my eyes start to close. They become heavier and heavier as I fight to keep them open.

I would like nothing more than to allow myself a moments rest like Fitz is doing, to close my eyes and let go but I know I can’t. If I fall asleep all of this will feel like a dream, so distant and surreal. I have to look at him, to feel him, to know that this is actually happening, to know he’s here.

If I fall asleep I won’t feel him, I won’t see him. I’ll be in my own head, reliving the reoccurring nightmare of his brother beating him and dragging him away while I watch from afar, completely powerless. I’ll be reliving the nightmare, no not nightmare, memory; that’s plagued my sleep ever since that day at the warehouse. It doesn’t allow me to rest, it hasn’t these past days and it won’t now.

Everytime I tried to sleep, it came. I would wake up in tears day after day, the memory so clear in my brain. His brother would take him, beaten and helpless, and then he’d be gone. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t rest. I would wake up alone and tearful, realising that dreadful nightmare is now my reality. It was always the same, the hard and painful reality. Again and again. Ward would be taken from me.

But I didn’t need a slumber to do that for me, the sudden flat-lining of the heart monitor does it all on its own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m evil, I know. 
> 
> The stakes are high. Ward is still fighting for his life. He may be away from his brother and father but what they did to him remains. He’s weak, fragile. And now, his heart has stopped beating.
> 
> Keep the comments and kudos coming! Much love to you all.


	19. Chapter 19

My eyes jolt open as the long beeping sound echoes throughout the van. We all look toward Ward and launch ourselves to our feet as the noise continues to ring in our ears.

Fitz’s eyes jerk open and he begins to look around, still dazed from his nap. As his eyes adjust, he brings himself to look at Ward and he quickly jumps to his feet along with us.

My mind doesn’t process what’s happening, even as everyone moves closer to him. I can’t. “Grant?” I say, looking down at his still form.

Coulson rushes over to my side to get a look at his agent, his eyes wide. Natasha and Simmons have abandoned their seats and are intently watching him from the end of the stretcher. All of our hearts are racing.

“We need you to all take a step back,” Emma instructs. Her voice is commanding and focused as she rushes into action across from me. Her eyes are looking from the beeping monitor back to Ward. We all comply with her instruction immediately.

I release Ward’s hand from mine and let it fall back beside him as I begin stumbling backwards off the stool. I don’t know if Emma meant for me to step far away or to just sit back down to give them room.

I feel like I don’t know anything.

My mind is racing and silent all at the same time. I can’t concentrate on anything apart from the constant beeping filling my ears and Ward’s unmoving chest.

All I do know is that I have to do as Emma says. She knows what she’s doing. And she told me to move away.

I keep going backwards, away from the stool, away from Ward until my back crashes into a computer. My hands grip onto the desk behind me, steadying myself. My body faces Ward and my eyes stay on him as my grip around the desk grows stronger.

“No paddles. His body won’t take anymore shocks. We have to perform CPR. Sam, I need you to open up his airway,” Emma demands while placing her hands over each other and interlocking her fingers, ready to perform.

Sam rushes over to Ward’s head and tilts his chin up while Emma begins pushing down on his chest.

One, two, three.

Emma pushes down on his chest again and again and again as the beeping continues to ring.

One, two, three.

She pushes down again. His body jolts each time she presses down onto his chest, desperately trying to start his heart but he remains unresponsive.

One, two, three.

She pushes again.

Nothing.

And again.

One, two, three.

The beeping continues to ring in our ears as she pushes and pushes.

He’s still not breathing. 

_______________________

Fitz is visibly shaking. His breathing is fast and shallow. Simmons has started to weep, the tears are running down her cheeks and onto her cotton jumper. I look at all of them, their expressions mirroring mine, and then turn back to Ward.

“No please,” I whimper, “Please, come back to me!”

One, two, three.

“Grant, please!” I beg. My heart starts thudding against my chest and my vision starts to blur. I’ve just got him back. I can’t lose him, not again.

“Come back to me, please!” I refuse to look away from him, even as I feel my chest grow heavy and my lip tremble.

My knees feel weak, about to give way and send me tumbling to the ground. I lean back on the computer desk, uncaring of the equipment that lies there, just in need of the support.

My knees almost give way, that is until Ward’s whole body jerks and the beeping stops ringing, the sound of Ward gasping for air now replacing it.

Emma and Sam look towards the monitor and at the once flat line, which is now moving up and down in beat with Ward’s heart, before taking a step away from him.

Sam lets out a sigh of relief while a smile forms on both of their faces. My wide eyes meet Emma’s and she gives a small nod.

He’s breathing. 

“Oh my god!” I say through the tears.

I rush to sit back near him, bringing my hand to my mouth as I contain a sob and step over the stool. I slump back down, taking the weight off my weak legs. My vision is still blurry from the tears but I can clearly see that his chest is now rising and falling.

His desperate breathing starts to slow as he catches his breath and I rest my elbows back onto the stretcher and watch him tearfully. He’s breathing, he’s alive I assure myself.

Ward slowly tilts his head to the side to look at me. His mouth still parted as he takes in the air that his lungs have been deprived of. Tears fall over the hand that’s now covering my mouth, running down my skin and onto my lap.

When his eyes land on mine he begins to move his arm that’s closest to me. He raises his forearm up, attempting to reach my arm that's resting on the stretcher.

His hand searches for mine but he’s too weak. He can’t keep his arm up. His limps are all too weak, from what he’s been through in the asylum and now this. When I notice what he’s trying to do, I reach for his hand, moving mine away from my mouth.

My arm trembles as I bring it away from my mouth but when I grab a hold of Ward’s the trembling slows.

I cup his hand back in between both of mine as it was before and bring it to my lips. My lips are covered in fresh tears but that doesn’t stop me from bringing Ward’s hand to them and kissing his skin. His skin feels cold against my lips, but the pressure of him is reassuring. He’s here, he’s alive.

Fitz climbs back over the stool and sits back by Ward’s head. He wipes away his tears before his hands go back to holding the stretcher. He knows there’s no point in trying to nap. He won’t go to sleep, not after that. I know that I definitely won’t, not for a long shot.

Looking over to the van doors, Simmons has stopped crying. Now she’s just nervously watching Ward as is Coulson and Natasha from their seats. Relief fills us all, but we can’t help but let that anxious feeling in the pit of our stomach grow.

_______________________

My eyes look back at Ward and away from Simmons. His eyes are still on me. He’s so worn out and the dark circles under his eyes are proving my point.

He needs rest, but he won’t sleep. He won’t let himself sleep. He’ll keep fighting it. He’ll keep fighting even if it kills him.

And that's when I finally lose it.

I sob into his hand, clutching onto it as my tears stain his skin. The tears won’t stop; they just keep soaking his hand. Again and again they fall, I can’t stop them. All I can do is let them fall.

Ward moves his thumb in a circular motion on the back of one of my hands, just as I did to him when I found him. I was trying to comfort him then as he’s trying to comfort me now. He wants to do more, I can see it in his desperate, pleading eyes but he can’t move. 

After a while my sobs begin to quieten and I look at him, taking in every inch of him.

“Don’t you dare leave me,” I tell him, shaking my head as a tear slides down my cheek. 

I never thought I’d find someone; someone who I couldn’t live without, someone who makes me better in every way, who completes me. I can’t live without him. He’s a part of me. And losing him would be like losing a part of myself.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” He replies. I nod in return, still sniffling from crying.

His eyes soften as he realises what I’m thinking. After his heart stopped, I couldn’t think. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everything slowed down and I thought, I thought I’d lost him forever.

“It’s alright, Skye. I’m alright.”

“If you say that one more time I’m going to punch you,” I say, only half joking.

A small smile tugs at my lips and he lets out a laugh in return. Just like that the world seems normal again. His smile brings me so much joy I could forget everything and just be in this moment forever. But the sound of a ding brings all of our attention to the tablet it’s coming from.

Sam moves over to grab it, tapping a few buttons until she gets up what she’s looking for. “Part of the blood test results are back,” she states, placing the tablet down and rummaging in the box by her side, “We can sedate him with this. It won’t affect his blood, I promise you.”

She pulls out a syringe and injects it into a small bottle of sedatives, all ready to inject into the IV bag connected to Ward before he speaks up. 

“No, you can’t. I can’t,” He says, shaking his head from side to side.

Sometimes I think he's too stubborn for his own good, always trying to assure us that he’s fine and he doesn’t need anyone’s help. I thought that’s why he didn’t want the sedative, that’s until I see the genuine fear in his eyes.

When his heart stopped, I didn’t think about what it must have been like for him. I was so terrified of losing him that I couldn't even think. His heart stopped, that isn’t just something you can walk away from. It changes you; Coulson knows that better than anyone. He could have died and he knows that. He’s afraid that if he closes his eyes it might be for the last time. And that this time, there’s no coming back.

“Grant. It’s okay,” I assure him. His eyes meet mine, and as much as he tries to hide the emotions he doesn’t want me to see, I can see them.

He’s afraid to die, but honestly who isn’t? This feeling is foreign to him, fear. It’s a feeling that he believes belongs in his past, in the memories of his childhood, of his family. He thinks he’s moved past it, that he’s unafraid of anything. But no one is fearless.

He doesn’t realise that being afraid, it’s normal, it’s human. He doesn’t want to be afraid of anything and he certainly doesn’t want anyone else to know that he has fears.

To be afraid, he’s always seen it as something that drags him down. I know it’s something to do with his family, something his father must have drilled into him as a child. Fear is weakness, he most likely would have told him. I know he always liked to make Ward feel weak, and even to this day Ward’s experiences are what make him. Even if he doesn’t want them to, I know from my own experiences that no matter what you do, what happens in the past will stay with you forever. 

This proves that he doesn’t want to die. I know he doesn’t want to die. My mind won’t accept anything else, he has to live. After everything, he can’t want to leave us, to leave me, not again.

Even though deep down I know it’s more than that. I know the reasons for what he said in the asylum are much more complicated than I could ever imagine. But nevertheless, the words still stay with me. _“Kill me instead, please.”_

I won’t allow myself to even think of the possible reasons why he said what he said, because thinking of them will make them real.

His words ring in my head again. _"Please, kill me. Just kill me, please."_

He didn’t know what he was saying I try to reassure myself.

It can’t just be me painting over the truth, too afraid to face it. His face, his face says it all. He doesn’t want to die. And that makes me thankful, god so thankful. After hearing him beg for death in the asylum, I was afraid of what he might do. But he wants to live. He does.

The more I say it to myself the more desperate I begin to sound.

No, he doesn’t want to die, I can clearly see it. It’s written all over his face. That’s not a lie. But what I can’t see is that a small part of him, deep down, doesn’t think he deserves to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ward’s breathing again. Don't worry. 
> 
> We’re coming to the end of this story. I hope you're all still enjoying this. A few more chapters still to come so keep posted, more coming soon!


	20. Chapter 20

My eyes are still looking into his as I repeat, “It’s okay.” His eyes soften and I slowly nod to him as if to say; please take it, it will help you. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.

After he thinks it over, he nods in return and accepts the sedative. I motion for Sam to inject it into the drip as I tell him, not as a question but as a statement, “Just let us help you.” 

_______________________

_“Just let us help you,” I say to Ward as he attempts to, yet again, get out of the hospital bed._

_He’s been back from the mission he and Fitz were sent on for about 7 hours. And he hasn’t stopped trying to leave the medical wing of the hub since he woke up._

_“Where’s Fitz?” Ward asks while trying to sit up on the bed. He winces in pain, which he miserably tries to hide, as his back leaves the support of the bed._

_I give him a gentle push, only on his shoulder, from where I’m sat by his side. “Nope, not a chance Ward,” I tell him as he falls back down onto the bed._

_He gives me a glaring look and straightens his body up while I continue, “Fitz is fine. He’s getting out of here today, just after they finish some quick blood tests. You on the other hand, will be staying here much, much longer if you don’t just stay put and stop trying to leave.”_

_Ward lets out a defeated sigh as his head falls back onto the pillow. I cross my legs over each other on the chair as I say, “I could at least get a thank you. I am the one who convinced Simmons to reduce your stay here to only three days. She wanted you here for five days, at least. So don’t push your luck or I’ll happily tell her you need longer to recover.”_

_I lean over to grab the box containing battleship which I brought in to help pass the time until Ward gets out. I know how much he hates it in here and I thought this could distract him for a while._

_“Thank you,” Ward says to me, his tone as soft as I’ve ever heard it, “For convincing Simmons. And I know you haven’t left my side since I got here. You didn’t have to do that but you stayed anyway, so thank you.”_

_Our eyes meet and for a while we just stay like this. He’s actually glad I stayed with him? Not only that but he admitted it to my face._

_I’ve always known Ward to be solitary. He likes being alone, he’s told us all just as much, but maybe that’s not what he really wants. Maybe he wants to be around people, he wants to have people he can count on. He could never count on his family, and from the very little he’s told me about them I wouldn’t count on them for anything. Not when they just sat back and let his older brother beat Ward and his younger brother._

_“I go in alone, I get the job done,” he once told me but what if he doesn’t want that anymore. Maybe he’s actually starting to like having a team._

_“I didn’t want you to be alone,” I finally admit. Our eyes are still gazing into each others as the calming silence around us grows._

_Behind his eyes I can see something, something deep within him. It’s a feeling I’ve been familiar with my whole life, longing; the longing to just well, belong._

_We keep our eyes on each others until I place the battleship board down onto the tray that’s attached to Ward’s bed, batting away the tears that have suddenly formed in my eyes._

_I know how much I’ve wanted a family. My whole life I’ve dreamed of meeting my parents, wondering why they gave me up, but not Ward. He lived with his family for years, and they never cared for him, he never belonged with them._

_I’ve always wanted to belong with my family but Ward; he’s always wanted to escape them._

_As my emotions begin to get too much I try to lighten the mood and say to him, “You know for a second there I thought I might have to find a new supervising officer.”_

_He smiles at me as he replies, “Sorry to disappoint.”_

_I let out a small smile in return but the image of Ward being dragged up the ramp, unconscious and bloody comes to my mind and the smile is gone._

_“No, but seriously,” I begin. The smile has now disappeared from his face as well. He notices my discomfort and the fear in my voice as I say, “You gave me quite the scare back there.”_

_“Skye, you don’t have to worry about me,” Ward says firmly._

_I nod at him and a little smile forms on my face, not a real smile but one of which shows that I’m trying to put on a brave face._

_He reaches for me and before I know what he’s doing his hand is gripping onto mine. I don’t let go, I hold his strong hand on my lap as he tells me, “I’m a survivor. I’ll always come back.”_

_This time the smile I give is genuine. I hold his hand tightly in mine as he smiles back at me, nodding his head._

_“I’m a survivor” The words echo in my head._

_“Why don’t we have a game? This time I won’t let you win,” Ward says to me, a cheeky grin now making its way onto his face._

_I can’t wait to watch him lose, that grin will be long gone soon enough, “Oh, you’re on, robot. I hope you’re ready to lose, because I am not letting you have a free pass just because you’re injured.”_

_His smile deepens and so does mine. He will not be smiling for long, not when I kick his ass._

_______________________

The doors of the hub’s medical wing swing open as Emma, Sam, Fitz and I push the stretcher forward.

Simmons rushes to the front of us, screaming for people to move out of the way. Natasha and Coulson run at either side of the stretcher while I grip tighter onto Ward’s hand. Agents are watching us, their eyes glued upon the man on the stretcher, who to them is just another colleague, a fellow S.H.I.E.L.D agent of who they may have heard of or maybe even have had a mission with, once upon a time.

They begin to whisper between themselves of the heavily sedated man, battered and bruised, who lies with an oxygen mask over his mouth and an IV drip attached onto his stretcher, being rushed past them.

They gossip and talk among themselves because to them this man is just a man. He’s just another agent who needs medical. They don’t have to worry about him, they don’t know him. They just watch from afar, but not us. To us he’s more than just an agent. He’s a friend, he’s a brother, he’s a lover.

He’s a part of our family and all we can do is worry. 

_______________________

“We need help over here!” Natasha screams as we continue forward.

Out of the double doors ahead, three more medics come rushing towards us as they hear Natasha’s loud calls for help.

When they get close enough to the stretcher Emma says to them, “He’s lost a lot of blood, we need to get him into surgery right away. Blunt trauma to the abdomen and head, unsure of any internal bleeding. An unknown substance has been injected into his blood stream. The results are still processing, but we’ve managed to safely sedate him.”

She continues to talk among the other medics, bringing them up to date with Ward’s current state as we get closer to the hallway where they’ll be taking Ward.

As we continue to rush towards the doors where the new medics came from, my grip around his hand begins to loosen. The new medics have started to surround him, talking among themselves about stuff I can’t even begin to understand.

I try to stay with him, holding onto him as we move but as we get closer and closer to the doors I gradually get pushed aside as does Fitz who’s across from me.

The doors open and more medics come to light. The two medics walking through are masked and gloved, all ready to spring into action. They look at Ward and their eyes go wide, and when they realise his state suddenly all of their attention is glued to his injuries.

They wedge the doors open, allowing the stretcher to pass through along with all of the other medics.

I try to follow them through the doors, my sight still set on Ward, but one of the new medics block my path. He stops just in front of the doors and turns away from them to face us all. I try to get past him to follow Ward and the other medics but his gentle hands hold me in place.

I attempt to go forward again as I say, “Please, I need to be with him. He can’t be alone. I can’t leave him again.”

Coulson comes to my side as the medic says, letting go of his small grip on my shoulders, “We’re going to do everything we can for him, okay. But we need you to wait here.”

Coulson places his comforting hand onto my shoulder and motions for the medic to leave. He gives Coulson a sympathetic nod before returning to the hallway where they took Ward.

I take in a deep breath. It’s alright. He’s going to be fine I tell myself. I take in another deep breath, trying to hold back the tears for the a millionth time this week.

The double doors automatically begin to close, and all I can think of is that yet again Ward is being taken away from me as I watch helplessly from afar.

_______________________

The small glass windows on the doors can now be seen as they make their way closer together. As the doors close for good, I can just about make out the silhouette of Ward on the stretcher with all the medics still surrounding him through the door window. That is until they rush him into a room and then he’s out of my sight once more.

My hands are now trembling again in the absence of Ward. And with my attention looking down at my hands, I don’t notice that one of the medics who rushed Ward away is coming towards us.

All I can think of is how empty my hand feels without the hold of his. It’s been days since I’ve been able to hold him and now it’s been taken away from me again. I know now I’ve taken for granted the feeling of Ward’s hand when it’s in mine, the warmth and reassurance it gives me. But I know that I won’t ever again. 

Coulson leaves my side and walks over to stand by Natasha. The medic follows his lead and the three of them begin talking about Ward, the words spoken are completely oblivious to me.

I pick my eyes up and look towards them. The words are too quiet to be heard from where I stand, and I don’t make a move to go closer to them.

I feel as if I can’t move.

Fitz and Simmons move to stand by my side while my eyes drift back to the doors ahead of me. They both stop at either side of me, looking at the double doors as I am.

“He’s gonna be okay. Right?” Fitz says after a few minutes of us all just stood in silence.

The crack in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed by both Simmons and I.

No one answers Fitz’s question, none of us know the answer. We can hope, but for certain no one knows. The next couple of hours are crucial. Again we are left waiting, and waiting. 

He once told me that he was a survivor, and now he better live up to that, he has to. After everything we’ve been through, he has to make it out of this. He always makes it out. He always comes back. He told me he always would, and this time I’m counting on it.

He has to come back to me. After everything he’s been through, after everything we’ve been through together, we deserve it. We deserve some happiness, some peace.

And Ward, he deserves it more than anyone I’ve ever known. All of the pain and suffering can not have been for nothing. It can’t. 

We deserve to actually live. He deserves to live. And he will.

He will.

He’s a survivor. And he sure as hell will survive this.

And when he does,

I’m going to make Christian and Malcolm pay for what they've done. I'm going to make them suffer. I'm going to make them bleed.

They will pay for what they've done, in their own blood. They'll pay for the damage they've caused to Grant, and to this family.

I'm going to make them wish that they never laid eyes on Grant. I'm going to make them regret the day they even thought about doing what they've done to him. And then, only then, will I put a bullet between both of their eyes.

For Grant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we’ve reached the end of What We Do For Love. I honestly thought there were more chapters left but as it turns out this one is the last. I absolutely loved writing this and am so sad it's ended.
> 
> I just want to say a massive thank you to all of you for continuing on this journey all the way to end. It means so much to me.
> 
> As you can see, I left the ending quite open so you can let your imaginations go wild at what could come next. I’ve been thinking about possibly writing a part 2 but if I do it will probably be quite some time yet. So for now, let your minds come up with the possibilities of what could happen next.
> 
> Despite the direction of the show, I know that Skyeward can still live on. It can live on through us, the fans, in fanfics, fan videos, fan art and much more.
> 
> Goodbye for now. Much love and appreciation x


End file.
